30 June 2005

headache-ing.

so...first, i got cocky with tivoli. i was meticulous. i counted. i thought, you see, follow the instructions closely, place markers, no problem. i do all the increases, i do the raglan sleeve shaping, i am binding off and casting on for the armholes. i realize that i have taken out my markers, as suggested, and have managed to fuck up the number of stitches or something and made the armholes uneven and lopsided. i was able to...rip out...cringe...those rows and....cringe..reknit them, but managed to bung up the raglan stitches that are at the armhole. i am unsure how to fix this, due to the increased stitches and all that crazy stuff, so i am going to leave well enough alone and go from there. the neck and armholes are even now, and hopefully no one who didn't write the pattern or knit it will notice. even thinking about it, i want to rip it out, but i may never finish it them , the rows are loooong and my attention span is short. i may make another after this one, now that i know what i am doing. this is the first adult item of clothing i have made with any sort of sleeve...and knit in the round. and everyone knows how poor lelah came out. it didn't.

next, i had a consultation to fix permanent eyebrows for someone. it was blue, lopsided, uneven, had a double line...i can't express how bad it was. and the woman haggled with me. she thought i was too expensive. i told her that i could fix it, but i charge what i charge. it is her face. it has already been fucked up fairly badly. i would be really really upset it my eyebrows looked like that. and she had eyeliner that had turned blue as well and was done really poorly. it made her eyes look droopy. i won't say more. it was super super super bad. it will be a good before and after if she comes back. she is going to be a pain in the ass if she does come back. she told me it cost 100 bucks less at the other place. that screwed her up. good deal. sigh.

i am going to nurse my headache with some diet cherry vanilla dr pepper. later dahlings.
smoochies? n.

posted by natasha @ 10:02 PM  3 comments

thursday.


more booty from joann's
Originally uploaded by natashafialkov.
so last night, my eyeliner appt that i was excited about cause i can really use the money, called to cancel. she is just really strange i think, she may still get it done. who knows. i still have a consult later. i am really worried about her being an old lady and being freaked out by me. i hate this.

i think i am going to work craftybastard. did i blog that already? i will do yarn, the toys gabe and i are working on and gabe will do paintings and whatnot. methinks.

otherwise, my hubby woke me up at 3 am to tell me that the vw's back tire was flat and he was taking the mazda. ok. so i have to have aaa come out.

i can hear one of the cats, kahlo, puking downstairs. she probably ate something like a stick that she can't eat and will do her daily puking all over the couch or something. sigh.

so that is all for the moment.

sigh. smoochies. n.

posted by natasha @ 9:17 AM  2 comments

29 June 2005

i wish it would fit me!


ooooh
Originally uploaded by natashafialkov.
so actually everything but the finishing is done on the little guy. i am lazy!

i feel yucky today. still.

i talked to jacey from insubordiknit...check out her gorgeous things!! we may do a fiber/homespun exchange...so exciting! her things are gorgeous!

here is a really gross article one of my college pals sent me...ALBANY, N.H. -- A man is facing charges after police said they pulled
him
from a tank under a women's toilet that was filled with human waste.

Police said that Gary Moody, 45, was under a log cabin outhouse off the
Kancamagas Highway in Albany. "You can draw your own conclusions as to
the
conditions we encountered," said Capt. John Hebert, of the Carroll
County
Sheriff's Department. Police said that they got a call from the parents
of a
teenage girl who said that when she went to use the facilities, she saw
Moody's face staring back at her from the hole.

Moody was hosed off before police cuffed him. "It's a very filthy
environment, and before we put anybody in contact with him, we had to
decontaminate him," Hebert said. "We treated him as if he were
hazardous
material." Hikers using the outhouse on Tuesday said that the story was
enough to make their stomachs turn. "He just must be sick to put
yourself
in that muck. Disgusting," said Harriett Voysey, of New Jersey.

Police said they don't know how long Moody was in the tank, but they
said
the door to it was locked, which means he must have gone in through the
toilet. They said they don't know why he was there. "I started this
business in 1980, and I have never in my career encountered anybody in
this
type of situation," Hebert said.

Police charged Moody with criminal trespass, and they said he could
face
more charges. He is out on bail and due back in court next month.

ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!

posted by natasha @ 3:44 PM  5 comments

28 June 2005

i want to be a hilton!

this whole post disappeared? how strange! it wasn't that exciting anyway!

posted by natasha @ 10:54 PM  4 comments

27 June 2005

black coffee in bed....with whipped cream and a sprinkle of cocoa...


ooooh
Originally uploaded by natashafialkov.
just a quickie here...first of all...the gorgous object with the birdies is a vintage sifter. i left the price tag on it to rub it in that it was so cheap and awesome. i love it!! look at my flickr to see the other great stuff i got at the thrift store.

i have a dr's appt today, and am supposed to meet heather for lunch or whatever, i guess. she has been having a really bad time of it, and i am really worried about her. when did i become the stable one? i am also going to stop at knitwits to get some yarn for my tivoli top, and i want to start a one skein wonder, as well, jump on the bandwagon. i have tons of stray skeins that would work nicely. also, i keep hearing things about "shine" from knitpicks, which is only $2.39 per skein and is supposed to knit beautifully. hmmf.

i spun a few hundred yards last night, that came out really pretty. i started blending the variegated, because i can't do anything plain. it drives me nuts. short attention span theatre. if i wanted plain, i could buy it. that is why i got a wheel. to make crazy stuff. i am working on thinner stuff for the people i promised yarn to...you all can keep posted to what i have made and make suggestions for what you would like if i have offered you something...

the baby sweater just needs to be blocked and put together, which i may do today, if i have time.

in other news, i am also spinning yarn for my secret pal, i need to start sending her stuff, although i may just send one big one. i am not sure. it is nice to get lots of stuff at once.

oh, i am not sure where to vaseline my louet, it is getting smoking hot when i spin, which is pretty cool, but i think i should be greeezin it, and i am not sure where. my teacher has an ashford that she oils every time she uses it, and i know that louets don't need oil, who knows? in my spinning book, it doesn't tell you for my sort.

i want the pluckyfluff book and i have no money on my credit card!! i need to figure something out. i neeeeeeeed it!! ok, gotta get up and go.

smoochies y'all!!

posted by natasha @ 10:04 AM  2 comments

25 June 2005

ooooh


ooooh
Originally uploaded by natashafialkov.
see my gorgeous hairclip from my awesome secret pal!! no? go to my pics then and check it out more closelyshe also sent me some fiesta yarn in poppy, which is my favorite flower, and i am too cheap to buy that yarn for myself. gorgeous!!

also, i saw this on the sexy bonnie's website, craftalicious, linked to the side,







what flavor pocky are you?

[c] sugardew


otherwise, i wanted to start tivoli tonight and all i have that would be enought to finish it is crappy ass cotton ease and in black. what was i thinking? and the lys is closed to-morrow. shit! i have a bunch of all season cotton, just not enough of one color, i considered mixing colors, i dunno. i will just wait. i can make something else in the meantime. calm down!! i got new embroidery snippies because my gingher ones that do not stay in their sheath, are begging to really hurt me from my sewing bag...these are really nice, although they could be a bit smaller, the blade protection snaps on, so that is nice!! also, i got some stuff at the UFO antique place, i will photo it to-morrow. really awesome stuff!! here is where the scissors arefor your enjoyment. i wish i had a chance to go to the lys. although they are open on mondays now, and i can pop in after my drs appt.

also, i have problems getting any eye makeup to stay on my eyes, they are greasearific, and i was told at a makeup counter to buy cheapo eyeliner, it works way better...it does!!! i put shimmery blue wet n wild eyeliner on this morning and at 8 tonite, it was really bright and not smeared at all!! and i also have a shimmery olive one that stays on. sweet!!

i had a nail and cuticle incident with my middle finger of my right hand, so i am going to read some of your bloggies and go to sleepies. i am so tired. more pics tomorrow, check out the new photos though, ok? here is the link for now...amazing stuff!!!!
smoochies y'all!! i got cooties yall!!

posted by natasha @ 11:53 PM  0 comments

please send out good thought in the direction of pittsburgh


short sleeve baby sweater
Originally uploaded by natashafialkov.
and i have these beatrix potter buttons i have had forever, i didn't know why i even bought them and now i know why! and they will match wonderfully. this had buttoms at the collar and little ribbed cap sleeves. really adorable. and i lost the entire back to a misread pattern, and still it only has taken me since tuesday. this pic is from a few days ago, i will take new onces to-morrow, i only have one little sleeve left to go. pretty good. i have been dead at work and knitting a lot though, or when i am busy, a few rows at a time. this has been a great learning tool. i love trying new things. i try to be as fearless as i can be and just do it. as nike would say. i got to do short rows for the first time, which are genius!! so cool. i want to do them on everything, for no reason. lots of bilateral decreases, raglan styling, so i got to see how to do the nice neat pattern, that i am told makes seaming easy. that will be the last frontier, not screwing it up at that point. and cottonease is nicer to knit with than i thought it would be. not that it matters, since they do not make it...last call for anyone needing any...my joann's has some left in the bargain bin for 3 bucks a ball.

my next project will be grumperina's tivoli t-shirt sweater it comes in multiple sizes, is knitted in the round, is nicely fitted and is not knitted in some laceweight yarn or anything. i don't know if i could spin 600 yards of yarn. but, maybe that would be a good first thing, first garment for me by me and first thing knit from my very own homespun. i am getting really excited now!! although, it is merino, and that will indeed be too hot. so nevermind what i just said. i need to look in my stash and see if i need to buy anything, or if i can make do, maybe just get some more cottonease, or use that tlc stuff. maybe a really good kelly green? hm...

otherwise, i had an ok day. made some money, and tomorrow looks like it will be busy. sunday is my ad in the local paper, everyone please continue to send out good thoughts for me. we really need to have a bit of a financial boost, and i feel like this may be the start. renew my faith that i am doing the right thing. it is so easy to drift away from that part of my life, i am so jaded, so tired of the scummy clientele, even though we don't get them so much anymore, all the money owed for all sorts of stuff, and then leaning so heavily on my dear husband who in turn overextends himself and works on saturdays volunarily. not even 12 on fri night. he has been asleep for 2 hours. i want to badly to be able to help pay for things, rather than be what i hate so much in other people, a mooch.

on a happier note, gabe and i started hashing out ideas for the dolls. i want to do small ones to start, he wants to do elaborate ones, and i worry a bit that they will not translate because he won't listen and will do something that looks really crappy and falls apart. he is not so good at putting things together, he tends to do it a but ass backwards. don't worry, he doesn't read blogs. i have this vision, for amazing things we can make, and he starts making it much more complex, to the point of not doable.i dunno.

i ate up all of our few raspberries on the bushes. and strawberry season appears to be over. i need to call the berry farm and get some berries. ooooooh, are they good. yum!!


oh, edit, in my own advice, i tell amy not to use black yarn. i started tivoli in it. don't do it. and cottonease is for kid clothes only. only. buy nice yarn. sheesh. that is all.

posted by natasha @ 12:00 AM  2 comments

24 June 2005

mmm...coffee...


amy's hair
Originally uploaded by natashafialkov.
so, i feel better. i found out that it was a full moon during my freak out. now i am back to my usual tired self.

gabe and i are going to use 2 journals that we switch once a week and work on a new project every week. he was in a frenzy state yesterday, so we'll see i guess. the first thing i think will be doll versions of some of his drawerings with embroidered details. not that i am such a good embroiderer. i think it would make a really cute mobile.

otherwise, we went to crackerbarrel, last night, because we are crackers i guess, and ate gross food that tastes like cafeteria food. but my in-laws are awesome, so it doesn't really matter. and they had some really cute strawberry salt n pepper shakers and a strawberry cookie jar in their shop. i love berry things!! do i ever.

i got a note from my amazing secret pal, saying she sent some things, so i cannot wait. she is awesome! she checks in on me even.

oh, i went to st v de p yesterday and got some awesome stuff, including an owl toaster cover and a really cute fabric bird print that i am tempted to send to the amazing girl at little birds or bird in hand. or keep it. i don't know. i also got a 50s dishtowel that i will photo. it is amazing. i may make a top out of it, or maybe even frame it, it is that good. and a ton of old zippers and buttons and things like that. and a gorgeous sifter that i will also photo. check back later.

well...smoochies, i reckon.

posted by natasha @ 10:53 AM  3 comments

23 June 2005

must not fall down...must not fall down...


pavel again
Originally uploaded by natashafialkov.
so, after my hysterics last night, and not answering my phone, to the point that butter texted me to ask if i was mad, i finally fell asleep, and woke up at 3, when jake left and had an awful panic attack, which i rarely have anymore. my skin was crawling, i couldn't breathe, i think my pain patch had run out, and i had also worked myself into a hysterical frenzy. i was scared to take a xanax because it makes me really depressed the next day, but it didn't. i got up and showered, for the third time that day and went back to sleep. i need to chill out. i apologize for that awful post. i feel like i should delete it, but that wouldn't be a journal, would it?

i got some really nice emails, and it makes me feel so good that not only do my friends and hubby act nice to me even though i am a lunatic, but people i don't yet know are concerned. that is so incredibly nice.

i feel somewhat better today. i will see what happens. and i may take my wheel to work. that always makes the day go better. you know. and i owe some of my sweeties out in the blogosphere some yarn!! i just need to make things and i will feel like myself. my normal crazy self.

oh, i forgot to say, i got a dressmaker's form, complete with the original shipping box from monkey wards from 1950, in really great shape. i am going to build something around it, if i can figure out how to do it, to display knits on...i would love to find a kid's one...maybe a doll?...but i am thinking that i will try to make a woman's blody with branch like arms to hand the knits on...can i build it? dunno. i will try though. it was 35 bucks and i talked them down to 25. a steal .there was also a huge star shaped victorian wall hung coat rack that was not that expensive, but i have made next to nothing this week, so i held back. i forgot to take photos of the farmer's market again. drat!!

the sheepy in the above photo is from my secret pally, and that is pavel's favorite sleepy place, since he was little, as you can tell, since he doesn't fit there anymore. that is my drop spindle spun yarn.

posted by natasha @ 10:42 AM  1 comments

22 June 2005

i hate wednesdays. i hate everything. i think i am gonna go eat worms.


tidal wave
Originally uploaded by natashafialkov.
there is a cloud that intermittently rains following me around. it even has made the cats stay away, as they hate getting wet. anyway, i have been really dragging lately, and trying to be positive. i never feel well, and have not been doing all that i feel like i should be doing, the constant problems of anyone who is sick a lot. the story of my life. anyway, i have so many guilt issues over this, i feel like a loser, lazy, a mooch, lame-o. my feet feel so cold that it feels like i have frostbite. blah blah blah. oh, and because that stupid baby sweater with the neck buttons didn't have a schematic, i screwed up the back and had to redo it. i thought i was almost done. why can't all patterns have schematics? it would take like a minute to add one, so now, i draw my own, before knitting anything. i will shut myself up about this, or may go on forever and piss everyone off.

anyway, i dragged my sorry ass out of bed, feeling tired and crappy and get to work, only to find these two creepy electrician dudes waiting for me that have to put in the new fire alarm, unbeknownst to me. i have to cancel my meager appts and then i go around the corner to the coffee shop to wait and i get calls who i can't make appts for because they want to get in today, and i don't know when the numbskulls will be done. they cracked my floor tile, stunk the place up with their bo, and SMOKED in my shop!! and looked at my in a pervy way. and ask anyone, i never thing that. creepy people always think i am hot. pretty much only creepy people and hopefully my hot hubby...anyway, i got pissed off and tired of waiting and went home.
i started thinking about work, and it being slow, and all these crappy stores popping up, and people wanting their 9 year olds pierced and tattooed and getting shitty with me, and how after more than 10 years i am so sick of it. i don't want to do it anymore. i say it every so often, maybe i have pms, but i haven't been helping with the bills, not even breaking even lately. what is the point of that? then i think...what would i do? my health is so unpredictable, i could never work a regular job. and then the guilt...i should be able to push harder, maybe i am just lazy, and that is all...i know i am not. aaaaaaack. i didn't talk to anyone today, except gabe and terrie from the coffee shop, both of whom bummed me out more. jake told me that all that mattered was us, and even if we had to sell everything it wouldn't matter. sweet sentiment? it was supposed to be. it made me feel like crying, we went from not rich to homeless. that doesn't help at all. now i imagine him selling his beloved motorcycle, one of the only things that makes him happy, and me selling prescription drugs and walking around town in a housecoat and slippers. no. anyway, i have a good ad in the local sunday paper this week and the following sunday for the permanent cosmetics, so hopefully that will generate some buzz. also, i need to talk to some local spas, get my guts up. furthermore, i need to talk to the people that want to buy knitting and see how much they want, if it would be more profitable than the ton of money i need to make just to pay the stupid overhead on the shop. it is like a ton of bricks. maybe i will change my mind tomorrow. maybe not. i hate being so miserable and pissy. maybe i have pms. i never know. hmmf.
my last question, to those who knit for profit and design things, if it is a very simple pattern, almost identical to many many other patterns, especially with baby things, if you know what i mean, what constitutes plagerism, what is just shitty to do, i mean i can certainly write my own patterns...if i use someone else's pattern and change the stitch or add a hood or collar or zip or change where the buttons are, is that still being a bastard, or no biggie. i am talking widespread patterns, not from a boozehags site or anything. any opinions? i don't want to be a skeez.

smoochies.

posted by natasha @ 10:19 PM  4 comments

21 June 2005

god, i've missed you.

ok, so what updates? i have a ton of email so return, so be nice to me. my computer's hard drive was replaced and was not backed up so i am trying to get everything back on track, so lots of things are gone. back stuff up, people. and don't tell someone else to do it. do it yourself. i can't get my iphoto to send photos so hopefully that will be sorted out by to-morrow.

a little children's boutique up the street called descendants appropriately enough, is selling my stuff, i am making vintage styled children's things, well, baby and toddler things and they are fun to do!! so hopefully that will go and i may start working with that boutique that screws me around, as well, just for some extra income. so we will see. i will post the pics.

spinning is going well, it is fun. i am improving quickly. thanks for asking.

i have two of the cats wearing collars, really cute ones. i may make kitten a collar that is just a piece of plastic with his tag. maybe he will wear that. it is not like he needs to wear a leash. any ideas?

i am still searching for a name for my knits. i am stumped. totally. i don't think i want my name in it, unless it was a really cute name. i thought about using "av8trix" or "aviatrix" but maybe it should be softer. god i don't know. and i need to make tags soooon!!

oh, also for any of you people mourning the death of kool wool and cotton ease, my joann's has the last of their stuff on clearance for 3 bucks, as well as some of the tlc equivalent, that is really nice and has awesome colors. if anyone needs any, let me know and i will see what they have...

i saw a really cute story on the news, which i really rarely watch, about the 102 year old japanese man who has the record in his age group for the 100 yd dash, he was asked what he was thinking while he was running, and said, "i must not fall down, i must not fall down..." that is a good motto for life, no?

i am doing a bit of advertising, which i cannot afford, for the permanent cosmetics, but really, i guess i can't afford to not do it, since we are broke. gotta spend it to make it. like the 6 bucks that the cotton ease costs to do a 12 month old's cardigan. yay!!

oh, also, anyone know the rules of using a published pattern for knits that you sell? is there any problem with it? not like they would ever know, but i don't want to do anything shady. not to knit people anyway.

oh, also, winnie tagged me, so i need to see what that is all about. that winnie, she is a rascal. and very cute. so it evens out, i guess.

i found a dress maker's form at the local antique-junk store for 25 buck!! ooh. i can dress her in scarves.

i may blog 6 more times tonite. i have missed you so.

posted by natasha @ 7:11 PM  6 comments

you like me!! you really really like me!!


1win-dew
Originally uploaded by natashafialkov.
for all of you who sent me the wonderful emails with worries about me...i am ok...my computer, however, was not. it unexpectedly died, i will comment further on everything that has happened in the week since i have spoken. i went to my local library, jonesing for a blog and to answer emails and to see what you are all up to, everyone, winnie, my secret pally, aunt purl, bonnie, who sent me a wonderful surprise in the mail...and everyone else... made me feel so good, and guilty too for not being able to contact you...anyway, i went to the library to blog and it was closed!!! noooo...anyway, i got the computer on my doorstep, even though it should have been signed for, as i was leaving for work, so now i am late...i will send new photos of yarn i have spun, etc, and tell you what has been up. i missed you all so much. i'm back!!

posted by natasha @ 12:16 PM  1 comments

14 June 2005

i can spin!!


10 great iPhotos
Originally uploaded by natashafialkov.
so, i had my spinning lesson yesterday. 6 hours of lesson. eileen, the woman that taught me is awesome!! she is so fun. i cannot even start to tell you. we had a great time. we took no breaks, my ass hurt by the time she left, from sitting on a hard chair, and i had a blinding headache soon after. the good news is, i can spin!! i feel like peter pan...i can actually spin really pretty looking yarn. and i can ply, as well. my fiber came yesterday from bountiful, and it is gorgeous...i guess it was worth the hassle. i have been mixing the predyed stuff together and it looks amazing...it was easier to learn than i thought. as much as people told me that the drop spindle would not help, it really did, i think, it is so much harder than the wheel, that i feel like it helped me understand things better...anyway, i had one of the worst migraines of the year and it was worth it. i konked out at 8 i think, and missed HELL's KITCHEN damn! i looked on tivo, and jake didn't tape it for me. ah well. now the dewberry is gone, it doesn't matter anyway. i miss his buggy eyes and his strange womanly body. my migraine is gone, but i am exhausted, i spun for 15 minutes and made myself leave it at that. i don't want to though. i will maybe do 30 min in a while. now!! anyway, i will get some photos of the yarn i spun, some of you will be getting some soooooon!! very exciting!! winnie spins thin, so i will do some thin stuff for her...yay winnie!!

ok, i am going to try to chill out. just watch tv and veg. i cannot believe how pooped i am.

posted by natasha @ 2:00 PM  10 comments

13 June 2005

i'm so excited!!


1win-hawthorn
Originally uploaded by natashafialkov.
i couldn't sleep last night because i was too excited for my lesson. now i am pooped. not fair!! anyway, eileen gets here in less than an hour, so i best get up...

i found these kim hargreaves patterns that are gorgeous. there is a crocheted scarf this is the like the flowers i knitted, but bigger, which i think i may knit...obviously from my own pattern...cute though!!

oh, for all you cat owners...i got pavel a collar, it has his tag and a bell on it to help with us not falling down the stairs from a kitten attack, and he keeps messing with it...to the point that i took it off last night. peeps doesn't mind hers at all...what can i do? it isn't too tight or anything....please let me know...

anyway, i'll be back later...

posted by natasha @ 10:15 AM  9 comments

12 June 2005

weeeeeee!!


10 great iPhotos
Originally uploaded by natashafialkov.
yesterday heather and butter and jake and amy and i went to dinner, at a new local restaurant that was disgusting at best. ew. we had fun though. amy and i went to burlington and i got slippers that look like babydoll shoes and some cute barrettes and some beaded mules, i will put them with my photos. cute!

we were up super late, jake was asleep by the time i got out of the shower. i woke up late, after waking a lot during the night, we got groceries and then i went for a ride on jakes motorcycle for the first time. i was really nervous, i don't know why, even though i have ridden bikes before. we had a really nice time. it blows me away how much i love my husband. not only love him, but like him so much, he is so wonderful, so gorgeous, so sweet, kind, smart, easygoing. i don't know how i lucked out like this. we were riding and i just sat behind him looking at his neck, touching his waist, thinking that i am home. i have never been so happy, felt so safe, felt complete and settled, not looking for anything, except for inside of myself, work stuff, creative stuff...my relationships with other people in my life are sometimes lacking, my relationship with jake, i have no complaints at all. how crazy is that?

also, i got collars for the cats, a name tag for pave. i am so worried lately that something would happen and no one would know where they belong. pavel's collar jingles all the time, he keeps messing with it and managed to get it in his mouth, so i tightened it. not in his mouth though. peeps is so fluffy that hers doesn't jingle at all. i didn't think k would wear one, but the other two, especially peeps doesn't seem to even notice it. jake and i ogled the kitties and how adorable they look and how pavel never had his name on anything before. so cute. we got home from the ride and went into the backyard to pick strawberries, which are growing like crazy...yummy!! so sweet and good and juicy. i have a bit of an ant problem out there.

in the biggest news of all...i have a spinning lesson to-morrow starting at 11 a and going on for SIX hours!!!! whoa...and the fiber is slated to be delivered to-morrow. adrian from hello yarns gave me the name of the person she gets fiber from so i will check that out, she is not only really talented, but super duper nice! yo adrian!!!

the photo at the beginning of this post is one of the aprons...tie one on!!...i scored the other day, made from a tea towel. cute!!

also, i wondered if anyone would be interested in doing a knit along from loop d loop by teva durham...anyone? i am open to the pattern, that bag with the wooden handles looks awesome. i love it and everything else in that book. it is great. i think that sarah dallas book looks really great. anyone get it yet?

lastly, on karrissa's blog i saw this insane and gross story...ewwwww.

if i am not too exhausted, i will blog about my lesson and post some photos...wish me luck...oh wait, i don't need luck!!

oh, p.s. my mom-in-law put an ad in the paper for her wallpapering business that she is trying to start and got 3 calls since wednesday! i am so impressed that she is sticking her neck out and taking a chance!! yay mom!! she is a strong and brave and beautiful woman!!

posted by natasha @ 10:44 PM  3 comments

11 June 2005

i have to get up....hurry!!

ok, in the same vane of the knitting knazis...i have noticed some people, i will not metion names, have put "not a secret pal" buttons on their blogs. it says "be proud". what is up with these joyless...um...people..? also, some of these people said they would stop ready knitty because of the doll clothing patterns and the nursing top. i think they have all different blogs, with different photos but are all the same person. these people use t-squares and high math in conjunction with their knitting. these people do not have a creative bone in their rigid bodies, and believe that those of us who are happy and like to do fun things are not as "serious" as them. on the off chance that any of these people would read a silly blog like this one, from a person like me that thinks that you should do what makes you happy, even if it does not require using size 1 needles, laceweight yarn and a scientific calculator...screw you!! i love my secret pal!! i like doing nice things for people, even if you use trig to figure out a pattern, it still doesn't mean it will fit, or look nice! you cannot control the world with misery and math!! so there. now, i will get up.

posted by natasha @ 11:06 AM  0 comments

sunny saturday


thrift store haul
Originally uploaded by natashafialkov.
so, if you want to see the rest of my haul, including a tea towel apron, go to my photo link...

anyway, the wheel did show up yesterday, for any of you who thought i was being unneccesarily mean, my main issue was that she told me it would be here at a certain time, and then every time i called she would lie and say it went out, she had sent the tracking number, emailed the invoice, or that she didn't tell me that, she never just said i am sorry, i thought it would go out monday, including the package coming from her. if i had know it would take so long to go out, i would have had it sent 2nd day. i just hate it when people lie to me. hate it. and i ordered a book, the spinner companion, to learn how to spin, because my lesson is not until monday, and they fiber and the book did not come, only the wheel, so i put it together and attempted to mess with it, but have no clue what i am doing.

oh, my awesome secret pal sent me a little lamb in the mail. i have him guarding my handspun...i got this box, after kind of a long day, didn't feel good, this super lite tiny box that made a rattly sound...i open it to see this adorable little lamby!! thank you secret pal!! it makes me want to send her little cute things, too.

oh, another note, the purse that i posted opens up into a tote with snaps. how cute? and the pink bag in my flickr is this insane distressed leather barrel bag, my favorite shape, perfect size to even fit my little sketch books. i love it!!

in other news, heather came up to the shop, gabe and i were at the coffeeshop around the corner and i didn't bring my purse or cell phone and she called and no one answered and she thought we were avoiding her? anyway, she came up, full throttle, all upset, i don't know why she thinks i would ditch my best friend like a rotten tomato, anyway i had told her something that gabe had done, that he had confided in me and i should not have repeated and she said something to gabe about it, i am not sure why, he flipped out got upset, she told me that she said it and i didn't bitch at her, but i was not real happy about it, and now i feel like he won't want to tell me anything. he already is paranoid about people telling everyone his secrets. my stomach dropped. i told jake what she did and he was like, "why would she do that?" i dunno. she didn't mean to be a jerk. and then she was all upset that she had done it and he was pissed and i was pissed. sigh. i need to keep my mouth shut in the future. i don't even tell her stuff to gossip, she really wants to know the scoop, so i give. in. i will stick to reality tv for my gossip, and general hospital...

in other news we are going to be getting dinner and hanging out with butter, heather and amy tonite.

i have a headache again, it was bad last night, which was why i didn't blog. i have been really tired lately, all the time, and constantly sore.

my garden is totally crazy, i haven't planted anything, but it is monster. and there are ripe strawberries every day. i eat what is ripe and then the next day there are a ton more. so nice. i love summer. and the raspberries should be getting ripe soon....

oh also, olay quench with a bit of tanner is nice!!

posted by natasha @ 10:36 AM  0 comments

10 June 2005

insert expletive here

so, the woman sent me a tracking number, finally, and the wheel should be delivered today. frank the ups guy knows me, and seeing that it isn't at my house yet and it is almost 11, i would guess that he will take it to the shop, which is several blocks from my house. the fiber is in illinois.

i had this strange dream that there was a new QED thing that was like postapocalyptic house...and i was in it, trying to cook on a broken stove to keep like 10 small children from crying. i would never be on a show like that. the stove woulnd't get hot, and everyone knows, i cook hibachi style, hot and fast!! whew!!

anyway, i dunno if this is a kidney thing, but i have a lot of back pain that radiates into my legs. it rocks!! i wake up so poooped.

i started a wrap out of this berroco linen/cotton yarn i found on sale...i am not even using a drop stitch. it makes it go slow!! my hairdresser complimented me like she wanted it. no! i don't have a single thing that i have made that i wear. nothing.

i just started watching "dry dock" on tlc. i cannot find a link for you, i did look though. no dice. ok, i need to think about a shower. i will bring my camera to work...and again, anyone know how to put multiple photos into one blog entry, please let me know....i will post photos of the wheel and the loot...

posted by natasha @ 10:46 AM  2 comments

09 June 2005

catterwaaalling

so, it appears that every cat in the neighborhood want sot get into our house and is ready for love. they are outside howling mournfully and crying and my cats are going nuts looking out the windows, freaked out. pavel even humped his socky jojo. everytime there is a cat screech outside, they freak out. egads.

in other news, i found out too late that helloyarnwould sell me a wheel for a really good price. why too late, you ask...well, that..um..woman from bountiful continues to lie to me and tell me she sent me the tracking number, or the invoice, or it was sent out monday, or as of thursday, not at all...i cannot express how much it pisses me off. bullshit. so, the fiber will not be here for like a week, and it was supposed to go out monday, and as of today, the wheel supposedly is overnighted, but it shouldn't have had to be because it is 2 days away and was supposed to go out on monday. and she continues to insist that she sent this or that or the email...like i am a dummy. so i won't order from her again. i will send her an email telling her how disappointed in her service i am. so now you know why a cheap price may not be worth it. plus i wonder what this 6 hour spinning lesson will cost me. i want to spin with the spindle, but i need to conserve the fiber in case the other stuff really doesn't come until the 13th. bullshit!!

i again forgot my camera. and i got my hair done, 3 different shades now. i swear, i will post photos. can anyone tell me how to post multiple photos in a single post?

i stopped at tj maxx to get sunglasses because i ruined 3 pairs in 1 day. sweet! and i needed a new pair and i need a summer purse that is medium sized..i found a really cool one in this strange crackled pink leather. really cool. everything fits in it. on sale drastically. the only other thing i got was some bras. i am straining a 36D. i always was 34...i am dieting, when my boobs grow, i am pushing maximum density.

also, gabe and i put a big pillow in our clothes and demonstrated freakily big people, i will post the photos. it is hilarious. we almost peed our collective pants.

also, i experimented with tags for the knitted stuff. i may as well get my name and info on the tag, so i can get custom orders. also, i hear that there is a ligonier market on saturday mornings that sell all kinds of high end arts and craft stuff, i may look into doing it, although morning is not my thing. ah well. we will see.

wish me luck that the wheel comes to-morrow and i was not lied to, yet again. do not order from bountiful!!

posted by natasha @ 11:36 PM  1 comments

i think i just passed a stone!


knit007
Originally uploaded by natashafialkov.
so, first things first...lately i haven't been feeling so good. all of a sudden i get the sweats, the chills, teeth chattering, i have been really tired, etc. i thought i may have a kidney thing going on. well last night, i felt bad, started the sweating and chills and got super out of it and fell asleep at 9 p. i woke up a couple of hours later to pee and when i did, i heard something hit the toilet bowl, about the size of a pea when i looked. then this morning, a few little ones came out. i think it was a kidney stone. i hope that doesn't mean there are more. i have been having back pain, and pain in my trunk, like an asthma attack and my legs have been really hurting...i thought kidney stones would hurt more though. i have had problems with my kidneys forever, so maybe i am kinda used to it. hm. i mean it did hurt, just not as bad as i would have thought. anyway, that is that...

next, i called the place i bought the wheel from, bountiful. they didn't ship the fiber when they said they would, mon, so when i tracked it, it is still in colorado. and the wheel is not tracked, which probably means it has not been sent. she told me i would have it midweek, or i would have had it sent faster. not that it would matter, because it didn't go out when it was supposed. she also told me that she said it would take that long. the ups thing told me i would get it on the 13th. the fiber. the wheel is a mystery. the nice thing about that is that i have a spinning lesson on monday, and it is supposed to be 6 hours long, if i don't get it this weekend, i will have to wait a whole week. bullshit. pisses me off. just be honest, you know?
last, i want to make some flipflop socks...i saw them somewhere else as well...but not the ones that your toes are totally showing...i love em.
rumor has it that the awesome peeps at SPUNMAG have been getting shit from the readers, i know most of us thing they are fantastic...make sure you let them know! they work hard to get this out for us and have full time jobs in addition to lives, so let them know how much you appreciate their hard work. you would not believe how much difference it makes...

otherwise, i finally finished the third shoulderette for my shop clients, i just have to sew the poncho, although i am thinking about putting buttons up the side instead so she could wear it as a wrap? i'll just sew it, she probably wants it already. i also need to bull jm's boutique and find out if they want stuff or not. and if they don't tell me, i will just forget it. i am not doing it at the last minute. bullshit! i need to do tags, etc, if i do sell there so people can call me directly from their clients and order stuff, so it is worth my while.
i watched beauty and the geek last night, well i fell asleep before it was over, but it is goooood!! the other one i really like is with jerry hall in which she is looking for a boy toy...some of those dudes or so remarkably dumb...one of them said that the mansion they were staying in was gorgeous and really old, like 3000 years old. and then the the cut is a new project runwayesque show...and the new season of blowout. i was watching qvc because i was bored i and love to hear the callers, and johnathan was on, the strange bird that he is...and said the new season had started! so check it out reality people!! i feel that by watching reality shows, i get all the drama i need, without having to actually deal with the drama! awesome!
ok, i'll let you know if anything shows up(not). and i swear i will photo the stuff i promised. have a super day.

posted by natasha @ 10:30 AM  3 comments

08 June 2005

my new baby lamb...henri!


Mae%20%26%20Projects%20017
Originally uploaded by natashafialkov.
so, i woke up late, and i put spray tanner on last night because i look really sickly, and even though i let it dry and was careful it is all crazy and streaky and one foot is tan, and one not. hmmf. i have had a lot clients ask me if i would do airbrush tans, and i think i would. i myself need it. i need to look into it. as usual, i look like a jackass. at least my face doesn't look strange. the waking up late thing, is an issue because i feel so terrible when i wake up that unless there is no way around it, i insist on having coffee and chilling out for an hour before i rise. i insist. so i need to get up anyway. i went to eat my lo carb noodle kugel which i didn't put in the fridge which has a spot of mold on it. i smelled it and thought...welllll...whichis so not like me...and then decided just coffee was fine.
kitten is under the blanket, his newest thing, attacking peeps who is on top of the blanket. he also sticks his legs up in the air, i dunno why, while under the blanket. he is odd. he woke me up every hour since 4 because he was bored, laying on his side scratching my back with his feet, getting in my face. i said, here, play with your socky. he wasn't into it.
i hoping the wheel shows up today, it came from new york and supposedly went out on monday....so....we'll see...anyway i need to get up. sigh. it looks like a blanket ghost is attacking peeps, who is studiously ignoring said ghost, but for a growl.

anymore yarn store names?

posted by natasha @ 11:28 AM  2 comments

07 June 2005

ties made into strawberries? too damn cute!!


basketostraw
Originally uploaded by natashafialkov.
i swiped this adorable picture from rickrackruby...how incredibly cute!! i need to find out how to buy these cuties.

i went with gabe to the thrift store today and scored a purse and a tote, both cute, 2 aprons and a bunch of cute linens, some to use, some for other projects in the future. i will post them to-morrow.

i went to the farmer's market and got a really nice roasted veggie dip for jake, some bread for him and a muffin and turnover. i got nuthin! on the way back i stopped at the used furniture place and got a strange little chair, i will post it to-morrow also, that looks like a spinning chair to me!!

speaking of spinning, no dice yet, hopefully to-morrow. i saw my ups guy and he shrugged....nooooooo!! i dyed the last of my natural wool with koolaid, a really vibrant orange, green, and a soft pastelly green. i will use em tonite to try to quell the wheel urges.

also, i appreciate all the comments about the knazis. is that pc to say? i am a jewess after all. anyway, i know why they do it, because they are joyless control freaks, but i see all of these phenomenal knitters and spinners that are the most gentle, kind, nurturing and creative people i have ever met. fiber people seem like a different breed to me. i have felt so welcomed and supported...constantly having sweet, thoughtful comments on my blog and in my email and getting wonderful gifts in the mail, just because. i certainly appreciate the time, patience and skill required in lace knitting, but sometimes people just want to have instant gratification or make something cute for their kid. and it is fun to make a hat in a day, or a scarf in a couple of hours. especially since the recipient will like it as much as the shawl that took a year. sadly. anyway, i will shut up, but i realize that my supporters are much more impressed with the things i make and do than my loved ones are, even though the are supportive, as well, but you guys really know what goes into things. it means so much that you check in often and have such fantastic things to say. i make something and am in a rush to post it so you can see it and let me know what you think.

you girls rock!!

posted by natasha @ 4:52 PM  4 comments

06 June 2005

knitting knazis

i found this adorable pattern for a ...amelia hat. this website has really great free hat patterns and is set up to give hats to people who have lost their hair due to chemo which would be such a great thing to do. imagine going through a terrible trial like that and getting a wonderful handmade hat! i have seen similar programs that make shawls and blankets for people who are sick or displaced and i think that is amazing, too.

also, i saw this adorable pattern for a crocheted furry flipflop on the knitting fiend's bloggy. whilst i do not know how to crochet, it seems like it is just looped around the strap and pulled over and over, and i can do that. i saw them doing it at kathy's kreations, and the knitted version looks crappy.

to tie in with this, it is clear that lucia, of the knitting fiend is not as i have heard said a "trendy" knitter, although she makes some projects that are quick and cute...and ponchos and scarves, even. many of the blogs i have seen with master knitters have really nasty things to say about new knitters, and it being trendy. it reminds me of when i was in high school and got mad when anyone who i percieved to be undeserving liked a band that i liked first. who does it hurt if knitting is trendy right now? there has been a really great movement of cooking and decorating and crafts and having families and all sorts of things that women who tried to be the least bit feminist did not do for many years, due to the stigma attached to it. i think it is wonderful for people to be able to do things that they love, that relieves stress and is creative, whatever the hell it is. even if you don't make anything that isn't square. even if you do it all in knit stitches. even if, gasp!, your stitches are twisted, tension is bad, or, gasp!, you use cheapass squeaky yarn. the horror!! who the fuck do they care? i thought i was catty! i won't mention names, but everyone starts somewhere and if they get bored of it, who cares? the surge in interest in knitting and so many other traditionally non-feminist things has caused all kinds of really neat books and supplies to come out, so you can do all sorts of things and have wonderful yarns and fibers and recipes and whatever. anyway, i will stop ranting. it makes me happy that our little stitchn bitch has so many members from all different walks of life, interesting, smart, cool women with lots of different things to bring to the table. so there, you mean old women, sit by yourself and work on the same sweater in itchy yarn on number 2 needles for 2 years if you want. and i hope it doesn't fit!!

i hope my wheel comes to-morrow!! i cannot wait. i cannot wait. i cannot wait.

posted by natasha @ 11:14 PM  7 comments

i thought we were supposed to get together today?!!?


oh yaaaaahn!
Originally uploaded by natashafialkov.
heather and i were supposed to do something and i am pooped and funky. i need some coffee and locarb eats and see how i feel then.
i spun on my drop spindle, sheila (she is from australia) last night with the merino/silk i got from the scary fiber shop and i love silk!! ooh is it nice. strong and long and soft and shiny. what more could you ask for? not much. i bought 7 oz which will go fast, i imagine.
oh yeah, the yarn harlot is from 5-7 at my lys. i am already thinking i may not go. i really should though.

posted by natasha @ 10:44 AM  3 comments

05 June 2005

there is a new baby on the way!!!


s15dt
Originally uploaded by natashafialkov.
it is swedish. its name is louet s15. i need to meet the baby first to decide on a name. my awesome husband put it on his card for me and i also got some fiber, to boot. oooh...i got it from bountiful spinning supplies. i got free shipping and everything goes out on monday, i am told. they had prices that were a lot cheaper than anything else i found, in fact i got the wheel for $328, so jake told me to upgrade a bit. the s17 was $238 free shipping, i normally see it for 280-300. i was psyched. anyway, as soon as it comes, i will get some spinning lessons with eileen. the lady from autumnhouse farms sounds amazing, but it is quite far away and her lessons start at 6 hours long, free for life if you buy a wheel from her. i do want to take a trek out to check out her wares, but she would have had to order the wheel and it would have been more expensive, so i just ordered it.
the woman that owns knots and treadles, no website, called to say she was in, so we popped in after groceries to this barn-like building filled with looms, fiber, yarn, crap, garbage, and dust. and more dust. oooh. i feel dirty. the lady was a little odd, and she had all this incredible stuff that you can't buy anymore, but it is so dirty in there that i would be afraid to buy any of it. i bought some merino/silk top and some merino, i think anyway, rust colored fiber because they were in bags. and they still smell musty. she talked and talked and i itched and tried not to touch my face. it was gross. i bought stuff because i felt like i should. i didn't spend much. most of the wool was really itchy and i could have dyed it with koolaid and it would have looked nicer. gross.
i cannot wait for my goods to show. yay!!
we had lunch with my parents. my mom is in a big fight with my granny still for being nasty and i try to be sympathetic, but it is really hard. i went to therapy for the same thing. i put out my hand hoping for anything from anyone in my family, especially my mom and got nothing at all. i know how much it hurts. i won't say anything to hurt her further, but it stops me from trying to do more mother/daughter stuff. i don't have the energy to invest in someone else other than those who have been there for me without fail.
i am pooped today. still. i haven't talked to anyone for more than a few minutes. last night i was too tired to even go out to dinner after work, so we ordered in and i spun some yarn, read, knitted. i hope it doesn't hurt anyone's feelings, but i don't want to talk to people and be a shit.
i think i am going to start selling my spun yarn. the dropspindle stuff looks pretty and i know i would buy it. if anyone can think of a cute name for the brand of knitted stuff and spun yarn, let me know. i am stumped. the person with the winning name will get 50 yds of handspun from meee!!

posted by natasha @ 7:03 PM  4 comments

04 June 2005

her name was peepee she was a showgirl...

so, i don't think i let you know that the creepy dude didn't show. i had a nightmare about him. i sat outside in the car, camera in hand. no dice.

otherwise, my friends were in town for the reunion and i called them to say i felt to shitty to see anyone. i suck. i feel better now, after my meds kicked in. they were like, "awww..not even for an hour?" i really suck.

posted by natasha @ 7:15 PM  0 comments

ambrose!!


HPIM0716
Originally uploaded by ambrose1.
the awesome ambrose sent me a photo of the shoulderette i made her and forgot to photo. sweet girl. i think she is in town, as is my friend nicole for our 10 year college reunion, which i am not going to even though it is really nearby. i didn't know about it and then when i did, i talk to everyone that i am friends with. i dunno why i get so stressed about things like that, but i do.

posted by natasha @ 10:00 AM  2 comments

03 June 2005

i am sonny corinthos.

you can answer questions to see if he can figure out what tv charactar you are: guess the dictator or television charactar.

posted by natasha @ 9:42 AM  2 comments

we're sleeeeping!!!


oh yaaaaahn!
Originally uploaded by natashafialkov.
first...here is my questionairre for my secret pally:

1. Are you a yarn snob (do you prefer higher quality and/or natural fibers)? Do you avoid Red Heart and Lion Brand? Or is it all the same to you?
i don’t avoid anything unless it squeaks. i sometimes will use those yarns for fringe. i prefer gorgeous natural fibers, of course. the longer i knit, the less i use things like that, although for kids things, i will use cotton-ease, or for novelty knits, i may use those things. not for clothes or hats though.

2. Do you spin? Crochet?
no crocheting, but i do spin. i just learned in the last few weeks and i love it. my hope is that i can spin most of what i knit with. and when it comes to rovings, soft, soft, soft!!

3. Do you have any allergies? (smoke, pets, fibers, perfume, etc.)
some strong perfumes. i hate smoke, also.

4. How long have you been knitting?
about 6 months.


5. Do you have an Amazon or other online wish list?
yes, and also i have some things on ebay, the flying ewe is an awesome store, their spinning things and soft rovings rock and are cheaper than yarn, also winderwood farm. they have lots of buy it now stuff.


6. What's your favorite scent? (for candles, bath products etc.)
i like ginger a lot, and tropical fruity scents. and foody scents.


7. Do you have a sweet tooth?
who doesn’t? but i only eat sugar free candy.


8. What other crafts or Do-It-Yourself things do you like to do?
i have been working on some fine art framed knitted things. i am just learning to do beading.

9. What kind of music do you like? Can your computer/stereo play MP3s? (if your buddy wants to make you a CD)i think so, yes. i am hard to please, musically. i don’t know if i should get into it.


10. What's your favorite color? Or--do you have a color family/season/palette you prefer? Any colors you just can't stand?i am pretty open to color, especially in yarn. i cannot wear yellow and pastels don’t look too great on me. jewel tones are probably the best.


11. What is your family situation? Do you have any pets?
we have 3 kitties and one super husband. and a fishie.

12. What are your life dreams? (really stretching it here, I know)
i love what i am doing. i run a tattoo shop. i am trying to make the shift into permanent cosmetics, so i can go by appointment. i have been selling some of my knitted things to boutiques and even clients that come into my shop. what more can i ask for? i am hoping to be able to make and sell some fine art fiber art works.


13. What is/are your favorite yarn/s to knit with?
i don’t like stiff or itchy yarns, although sometimes if it is gorgeous, you don’t notice. i love handpainted things the best.


14. What fibers do you absolutely *not* like?
not a big cotton fan or anything squeaky or very itchy, although if it is beautiful, that trumps everything.



15. What is/are your current knitting obsession/s?
i am more about handpainted/dyed yarns, i love making my own.


16. What is/are your favorite item/s to knit?
i make a lot of shoulderettes, which is like a wrap/poncho/neck warmer thing. i have been selling them, as well as scarves, so that is all i really get to knit.


17. What are you knitting right now?
ponchos for clients.


18. What do you think about ponchos?
they are cute on some people. shorter ones are probably better.

19. Do you prefer straight or circular needles?
i use circs a lot, but use both.


20. Bamboo, aluminum, plastic?
either bamboo or bryspun.


21. Are you a sock knitter?
nope. maybe someday.



22. How did you learn to knit?
i was shown how to cast on and the knit stitch and then started going nuts. i knit combination style.

23. How old is your oldest UFO?
months and months. if i don’t finish something and leave it, i probably never will finish it.


24. What is your favorite animated character or a favorite animal/bird?
kitties and sheep. i am sick of hello kitty though. i like shaun the sheep from wallace and gromit, and some of the less known japanese animal charactars.


25. What is your favorite holiday?
my birthday or my anniversary ...or valentine’s day


26. Is there anything that you collect?
old boxes, yarn, knitting and spinning memorabilia, especially old stuff. kitty stuff. actually, i have tons of art stuff, beads, you name it.


27. What knitting magazine subscriptions do you have?
none yet. i just sent for spin off. i like vogue knitting, ik, rebecca


28. Any books out there you are dying to get your hands on?
some of the japanese knitting books just look incredible.

anyway, i had dreams that the creepy dude showed up. i don't think he will, though. we'll see. and if he does, i will take photos from the car. so come back later...

posted by natasha @ 9:11 AM  2 comments

02 June 2005

infinite sadness

for reasons unbeknownst to me, i have been feeling very melancholy lately. something in the air, maybe. i am watching the L-word, one of my favorite shows, and there are two sisters dealing with the death of their who was his princess, but he did not accept her as she was, but idealized her and ignored what he did not like. the other was the loser and grew up as if in a different family. he didn't know what she did, didn't care, decided he knew what she was all about without knowing her at all. my parents don't need to be dying for me to realize that i have missed out. i am not sure what would need to happen for them, or my brother to feel like the wish they knew me. my dad and i were very close when i was little. my mom and i were never close. they don't like who i am , i guess. i won't delve further into it, but to say that it makes me sad.
i know that when i feel sick, it makes me sad, but i get distressed when i cannot be productive. i don't have the energy to do anything. it makes me realize how fast slip away and that i can't worry about everything, especially things that only hurt me and make me so sad.
i am so far out of touch with my emotions i swim in them, they do not penetrate my skin. but they are all around, floating on the surface like oil. how do i feel? i don't know.
when i make things...i am not feeling, not thinking...just being. i don't even feel like i am me. or anyone. again...floating. the things i make are more real than i am. i have a separation of emotion, or something...not pride, but belief, rather. i believe in my work, more than anything in this world. it is the only thing that is real. it is in its own dimension. it cannot be destroyed. it is not wrong. or right. it just is. and when i am making it, spinning, drawing, painting, constructing...it just is...it becomes something solid and fluid, imperfect and flawless...and i am perfect, too, at that moment in time.
time stops. there is no past or future. there are no problems that i cannot fix. there is nothing to be lost. i have all that i need. i am pure.
it helps me to cope. it makes everything else manageable.
my husband has offered my the support to enable this to come back to me. i was dry for more than 5 years. i had no purpose. i wondered, what was i here for? where did it go? after a while, i realized that he loves me so much...i can let go...i don't have to wait for the other shoe to drop. i am not alone. i have my work. i have myself. i have jake.

posted by natasha @ 11:07 PM  1 comments

ewww! i feel dirty!!


oh yaaaaahn!
Originally uploaded by natashafialkov.
warning to those who are of a delicate constitution, you know who you are...don't read this:
so, i am home today, having one of my exhausted days and i get a call on my cell phone. it went like this:
me-"hello?"
creepy dude-in wanna-be-sexy-voice-"hey."
me-"hello? who is this"
cd-"mark."
me-"do i know you?"
cd-"no."
me-"can i help you with something?"
cd-"just wanted to talk."
me-"i think you have the wrong number"
cd-"is this a business?"
me-"no, this is a cell phone you called, not the shop..."
cd-"you do piercings, right?"
me-"sure, what were you thinking about?"
cd-hemming and hawing finally gets out that he is interested in a genital piercing, yes i do that...now then, cd-"you see i get easily aroused and..."
me-"and i would not be able to do it, as it would cause dangerous bleeding."
cd-"it would be best to get off before i come in?"
me-"i guess. it normally isn't a problem, since most guys aren't so aroused with a big fat needle near the wang." maybe not exact words...
cd-"well, what if it happened anyway, i got get off there..."
me-wierded out, still not getting it.."i guess in the bathroom?" um?
we make the appointment for to-morrow. i ask for his number which is customary, he pauses and gives me a number different than the one on the caller id. hm, i think. i start thinking about it in the shower, i have been mocked for thinking about things in the shower before...so don't do it...anyway, i start to get mad. i start to think, wait a second, pervert!! i call gabe at work and he agrees to come in with me for the appt to take the wind out of superfreak's sails. i think a bit more, talk to hubby, decide i am always right about first impressions, ask gabe to call and cancel and tell him to go somewhere else...guess what happened? the first number, the one he gave me was fake, the second from my caller id...from a super 8 motel!!! ewwwwwwwww!! anyway, i am going to take jake's car to work, the windows are tinted and gabe and i will wait outside to see if he comes, which i doubt he will, and take photos if he does. is it illegal for me to post said photos? hm. anyway, that is all. i hope you don't feel dirty.

posted by natasha @ 3:24 PM  2 comments

quickie


oh yaaaaahn!
Originally uploaded by natashafialkov.
i have some badass cramps.
i need to see if the boutique owner will be in, ever, so i can talk directly to her, rather than her shopworkers who give their opinion of what i should make, which is totally different from what she thinks. it is a load of crap. but she is never there, and can't make 20 minutes to meet me. my mom was there yesterday and said that they were showing my things to customers and saying they would be carrying it in october, i am not sure why they don't want to carry some summer wraps, etc. anyway, they told my mom that they will take orders from their people. if i could market them myself, i could do better. i am tiring of dealing with them. i may run up there today if she is there.
oh, this pic is somemore of the stuff i dyed with koolaid and then spun on my trusty ashford drop spindle, eva.

posted by natasha @ 10:06 AM  2 comments

01 June 2005

and this too...

I am:
29%
Republican.
"You're probably one of those people who still thinks that getting a blowjob is not an impeachable offense."

Are You A Republican?


I am:
Isaac Asimov
One of the most prolific writers in history, on any imaginable subject.  Cared little for art but created lasting and memorable tales.


Which science fiction writer are you?



and finally...
I am:
a cheap ballpoint pen with the company slogan on it
Bought by the thousands as promotional items, now gradually being used up around the office after discovering that a free giveaway pen won't make any positive impressions if it's this cheap and crappy.


Which office supply are you?


...not good.

posted by natasha @ 9:13 PM  0 comments

did i mention i am tired?


oh yaaaaahn!
Originally uploaded by natashafialkov.
i had a long day. did i ever. i started to work on the little sheep doll thing, and it didn't work the way i wanted it to.
butter stopped in and seemed to love his hat, put it right on, i forgot to take a photo. again.
i started the second poncho, it is in two different shades of mohair in a picot stitch on 19s. i don't know if the double strand will be too much. hm.
my mother stopped in and was so looped that she slept on my piercing chair for and hour and a half. she is a mess.
i had a client today tell me about how his 4'7 ex-wife used to beat the shit out of him and try to kill him while he was asleep. he had really gnarly scars, like from having his throat cut. i asked him if his ex was the bride of chucky.
i am watching beauty and the geek. anyone heard of this? fantastic!!

posted by natasha @ 8:25 PM  3 comments

yipes!!


spongebob
Originally uploaded by natashafialkov.
just a little something to get your day kicking.
i went to my drs appt. did i get my bloodwork from 2 months ago yet? no. i will. i will. i have awful cramps, but i will take a handful of aleve and go into work.
i stopped at joann's and got the makings for a little sheep angel, or maybe just a sheep. i think it will be cute. i sketched some sample sheepy faces, and i will go from there.
also, i finished 2-roughly 50 yd skeins of handspun variegated yarn that is really pretty, if i do say so myself. i will photo it and post it. i need to reknit the poncho for one of my clients and i need to figure out what the boutique owes me so far and bill them and pick up the stuff they didn't want. the one stole is made with PIZZAZZ from ironstone...they paid for the yarn which is like 40 buck for the skein...do i just get to keep it? it is the most gorgeous thing out of everything i made and they don't like it. i would be happy to keep it. i may add buttons so that it could be worn as a shawl or a poncho.
oh, by the way, i got viva poncho. i am not a huge poncho fan per se, but these are adorable and timeless, with cowl necks and adorable models. really cute. not terribly difficult, they would be great for beginners, or someone not much past that stage, but wanting to try new techniques without getting in over their heads. there are capes and shawls and all sorts of cute things. including a doggie poncho. so damn cute. i wonder if peeps would wear one? she really might.
ok, i need to try to eat something. i have gone back to my mega low carb ways as of monday. i am getting really uncomfortable with how i look. none of my clothes fit and my boobs have gotten huge. i forgot how big they used to be. ok, off i go, i will put the photos up tonite.
and jason, good luck on your trip...i hope you find the answers you are looking for. i know i have found many many answers inside of a ball of yarn. does that sound trite? yes. is it true? so true. it's all about being able to open yourself up to let the answers come out. they are always inside there somewhere. ok, end of hallmark moment.
smoochies, n.

posted by natasha @ 11:39 AM  3 comments