|i have been a bit moody lately, really tired, craving chocos and cranky. really cranky. i am actually too tired to bitch, but i need to. tomorrow is a fresh day, right?|
i belong to some softies and plushie groups on livejournal and i often get snarky comments about the creatures i make. they say that they are creepy and scary, or sometimes that they are a piece of crap, or insinuate that there is something wrong with me. the last few times i ignored it. this time, i felt messages saying that cute things are...cute. not problem. i like cute. kittens? love em! puppies? cuuuute! but there are other kinds of cute, other kinds of beauty, and actually i remember in college running into a brickwall because of peoples view that you should make harmless, beautiful things or else....they will beat you up with a puppy or something. the result of all of that, and i guess taking it as the view of me, myself, because i really got picked on a lot for being different growing up. i know we all did, some way worse than me, imagine, but the point is that i learned from a young age that i hate the traditionally pretty things. to such a large degree that i decided that i wouldn't like something that i might like if i gave it a try because the assholes liked it. does that make any sense? additionally, like a porcupine, i made myself look more uninviting to keep away the kind of people that would hate me anyway. that was my thinking anyway. until recently, i didn't really understand why i did it so intently. i saw it as being a stupid teenager. but it really wasn't. it was self preservation and it was a smart thing to do. we moved really often, so my friends changed every couple of years at most, so no backup. why bother?
so now, i see those same people making stupid comments on things that i guess they can't wrap their heads around. a fuzzy art toy. not meant for an infant to play with. they are meant to show their personalities, and that is what makes them who they are, and no hello kitty. i used to be into hello kitty. as a kid in the 70's, i wanted it bad. before it full on broke mainstream, people started buying stuff for me wherever they could find it usually from a bigger city. i grew to not like her anymore. what does she do? what is she all about? what does she like? is she a republican? i want to know.
so it comes down to this...janeane garofalo said that the american public don't care what goes in their eyehole, earhole, nosehole or mouthwhole, and sometimes i agree. make it palatable, that works just fine. sigh. i swear, i won't sound so mean to-morrow.
i sketched up a couple of sculptures i dreamed of that i am working on now. i started the human form one, which i plan to make the size of a child and then probably some bigger ones, we will see. it is striped red and off-white. i have the head done down to the shoulders. the decreases were just as i went to try to shape. i probably should have taken notes. ah well. we will see how it comes out. i am excited about it. this was what i had started earlier, although i am much further along now, and next is the sketch of what it will be...
working on my desk. um. legs.
my basic design...
i am working on birdie legs for some of the softies so they can stand up better. the photo begs to have way more different scenarious taken, with different things on em, or by themselves, down the street...oooh oooh oooh!
oh, the mean polar bear sold! grrrr! there are a few more still up on my www.luxe.etsy.com shop.
off i go!