10 December 2007

aye aye aye

cooool stuff i waaaant!
first, i added some new yarns to the www.luxe.etsy.com site and i am needing to take photos (among other things) of several other really swank ones and knits that i haven't gotten up yet. gah. i am behind on everything and then i sit and stress about it because i don't feel well enough to do the stuff and people need their orders and....gaaaaaaah!

i haven't taken the car to get the broken windshield wiper fixed yet and it has snowed or rained everday so i haven't been able to drive to the post office. not that i have felt well enough. i am exhausted and headachy and have had some fibromyalgia issues (i assume) that makes everything hurt and my limbs and extremities feel like i am on a bed of nails. and crampy. the bed of nails is a new thing. i haven't been sleeping (again) and i think that is making things worse.

when i sleep...nightmares. like usual. last night, i had this nightmare that had these large mice that i was feeding and playing with and then they turned into these zombie things and then i realized that the cats were there, and had been exposed to who knows what from the mice and then kahlo was missing and i saw her running in a creek outside and then she transformed into a big cat and then a wolf (lupus?) and then into a man who turned and started shooting with a machine gun at everyone. there was actually way more to the dream, but i shook myself awake and lay in bed and read. i knew that if i got up, it would be worse, but i should have. then i had a bout of the heebie jeebies when i changed my patch and got paranoid that it would be all day. the skin crawling hot and cold sweats are more than i can handle. after a shower and bath (all by noon!) i felt okay to just sit in bed and read, but the pain was back and everything was so cramped up that i couldn't really do anything. so then i get upset and stressy that my customers will hate me. i hate having to make excuses. they sound like excuses. ya know? i hate it. i hate complaining. i hate all of it. and then, one morning i wake up and feel kind of normal and can do stuff and i realize that i really am not lazy. i really don't want to sit in bed all day in pajamas and no bra because i can't stand anything squishing me. sorry for the moaning. waa waa.

anyway, i have high hopes for to-morrow. bigtime! off to do some catch-up knitting.

xo
n.

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