being natasha fialkov

well hello dolly!

2008-11-14T00:41:00.003-05:00

sorry i have been such a bad monkey. i get so absorbed with trying to catch up on all of your blogs that i am so so behind on, that i haven't been blogging for myself, either. and i feel like i do get more done, but i am incredibly out of the loop, i fear. shannon was kind enough to give me a blog on the luxefibre.com site, so you can go to my old blogger one, my www.luxefibre.livejournal.com one, or this one, which is a wordpress one, if you have problems reading my other blogs. i put the same info in all, so don't sweat that.

i have been knitting and crocheting a lot of new things. i have more photos to take and a shop visit into pittsburgh to see if i can't sell a bunch of stuff, which would rock. yaaaay! munny!

in other news, jakie had his 33rd birthday on monday. i managed not to document any of it. so not like me. i was running around a bit and overwhelmed. i got him a ticket for buddy guy, and it is in a small local venue, the palace theater and it is a pretty good seat. i think he will have a blast. i saw the dhali lama at that same venue. purdy cooool!

i really am trying to get my blogging act together and blog everyday at least a bit, like i used to. i really need to get it together.

to liven up the post. some photos...did i tell you guys about this book i am in?...

it is a really cool book. it really is.

xo

n.

yay! barack! yaaaaaaay!

2008-11-05T19:41:00.002-05:00

i had little faith. i really didn't. after the last election, i didn't think that the people had any real power. i am still not sure. but i hope we do. i am scared of what some of the yahoos mind do. i can only hope that the country will realize that obama will do his best to do good things for this country. to give us hope again. to show everyone that if you are a good, honest, hardworking person, you can achieve anything. i think that the founding fathers...most of them, anyway, would be really proud of their country. i am. sniff.

otherwise,
i got another treasury!
i have been updating www.luxe.etsy.com daily, and i have some really pretty new knits to show ya. i need to take some photos. here is a bit of something...

xoxo
n.

only in pittsburgh...

2008-10-25T00:37:00.002-04:00

this happens. sigh.

i have been a busy bee, so i am super behind on blogging and blog reading, but i am okay. i swear it.

how about a really cool free obama poster to download? how about...right here? i think i am going to print it on a tshirt with those iron on thingies. and i am making one for jake, too, i think.

some amazing scarves to benefit obama's campaign are being auctioned off here and here so go. and bid! now! and...
i have been updating www.luxe.etsy.com often, so make sure you pop by every day!

xoxo
n.

i got a poppy treasury!

2008-10-24T15:59:00.000-04:00

here she blows! yay!

how gorgeous is...

2008-10-05T21:25:00.002-04:00

this necklace from alishalouise.com?

so. i have been getting a bit more done. i am trying push myself at least for a bit each day. i had a hard time getting up today, i spent the day yesterday packing orders and then opened an birthday present from barbe that was....way too much awesome stuff. really really good. here is some of it...
i got a book i wanted from shanshan, sweet girly. and then pavel claimed the box...and then this amazing swap from france...i have a few other swaps that are WAAAAY overdue and i haven't packed up yet. i suck at that.

she has the most amazing novelty yarns and the yarn she sent me i am grappling with what to do with. she is maybe the most talented artyarn spinner ever. not that i have seen everyone's stuff in person, really, but her stuff is just amazing in person. it qualifies as art. gorgeous.

i dyed a custom order of sock yarn, one skein that is for the yarn harlot, i am told and then some loose fiber in the rest of the dye liquor from the pot. purdy.

more thorough post to-morrow. i promise.
ever
xo
n.

my birfday to-morrow?

2008-10-05T20:36:00.002-04:00

well, jakie is feeling better, for those that well-wished. we had a low-key weekend and i think the last bit of rest today did him good.

to-morrow is my birfday. jakie got me a dremel that i asked for in advance. i have yet to crack it out, although i did read the manual. seriously. i have stuff that i needed to do with it, but don't remember what at the moment. hm. buttons was one thing.

in other news, after getting orders packed and a dyeing order done, i think i need to attempt to get the house organized and my studio organized. it is making me feel bad about myself, and i have all kinds of interesting old stuff and swaps, etc, that i don't even remember having and haven't given it the respect it deserves (i.e. getting displayed and/or used). it isn't right. i have a ton of it all over. stacked up. i have an expensive and gorgeous diana fayt vase from jakie from a little while ago that was on my window sill in the studio with sticky squares on the base to keep it from falling over and it blew over from the wind somehow (it is a bit of a tippy vase, skinny and top heavy and no lip on the bottom) and it busted in half. it is a clean break, i just need to epoxy it back together, but i keep putting it off, along with everything else i need to do and everytime i look at it, sad and broken on my desk, it makes me feel bad about myself. where my exhaustion/illness/etc and my laziness/disorganization split i don't know. i really don't. it probably sounds stupid to not know, but i don't. i rarely feel energetic, and i always wonder how other people feel on an average day. especially the people like ms. christine that has kids and a house and cranks out so much gorgeous stuff and still runs her business. and the slew of you that do that, too. i haven't forgotten the rest of you...yeah. why can't i be more like that? if i were organized, i would be dangerous. if i had more energy, seriously...the things i would do. i am afraid to commit to new projects or to push for new things because i am never sure what will happen closer to that date and i can't just ditch out of everything. okay, i am going to stop bitching.

on an off-note, we watched the vice presidential "debate" and man...i hate that woman. it isn't nice to say that...but i do. a world leader that doesn't read any newspapers? not good.

xo
n.

quickie again.

2008-10-04T22:09:00.003-04:00

hey all, i am alive. behind on emails and disorganized as ever, but here. i have been selling fall stuff pretty well, and i am trying to make sure it goes out in a reasonable amount of time, plus some custom orders...one to go to a new shop called knitwitz that has the yarn harlot coming and wants some yarn for her giftbag (giggle) so lots to do. lots to do. if anyone has suggestions for where to advertise my knitted bridal wraps and shrugs, do leave a comment.

jakie got sick this week and he is one of those people that rarely get sick at all, and when they do, they are literally barely able to walk or do anything else for that matter. he doesn't know what to do with himself, poor boy. he had the chills and a fever and the heebie jeebies and in my infinite wisdom, i thought i would warm him up in a hot bath...you know, a regular sized plastic bathtub that isn't very deep and then stick a shivering 6'3 dude inside. yeah. not so smart. anyway, he slept for a day solid and was much better this afternoon, wanted to get out of the house and get dinner etc, and now he feels crummy, so he is sleeping. he had a gig at an oktoberfest party that clearly he was not well enough to go to. poor boy.

oh, and i got a treasury! yay!

off to finish catching up on emails. wanna see some of the new stuff i have been knitting up for ya? here we are...a new loopy button neckwarmer, i have em in a few different colors. cute, no?

xo

paper tape mannequin tutorial!

2008-09-15T18:37:00.000-04:00

i overdid it today. way overdid. i had dyeing to do for some custom things, got kind of lost doing what i was doing and had to run out to the farmer's market to pick something up and had to go without cleaning up, so i looked gross and was covered in dye. it is kind of funny to see people acting like they don't notice, though. the people that knew me found it hilarious, however. i am attempting to type while pavel is putting his weight on me in order to groom himself and i keep trying to scoot him off of my arm and he just readjusts. i am his headboard, i guess. so here is some of what i did, which is outside drying still, so don't come over tonite and steal it. i will be pissed...

look at this and
i got in an awesome treasury! everything is so gorgeous, i am so flattered to be included. sniff.

here is the almost finished tutorial for making a paper tape (like you use on packages, you have to wet it) mannequin or dressform. you have to put a tshirt underneath it because after the tape is dry, you will cut the form up the back and pop it off and then put it back together. all that you need is the tshirt, some tape to strap down the shirt well (i used clear packing tape) some water, a rag and a big roll of packaging tape. i want to build up the layers more and then once i cut it off, i will add a bit of upper arm and maybe a head. not sure yet. it is fun though. it takes quite a while to do. here are the pics...

i have a whopper of a headache, so off i go. i have been listing new warm fuzzies and yarns on luxe.etsy daily, so make sure to pop by.

mwah
n.

did i do something bad? did i? sniff.

2008-09-13T22:08:00.004-04:00

so after i did my post about where all of these bizarre slang racist, sexist, etc, terms came from, i started to stress out that you guys would think that i was the sort of person to use words like that. i assure you, i dislike everyone equally, i really do. leave me some comments so i know that the lack of comments was just a lack of interest and not that people think i am a big asshole. no wait, i have been called many bad names, perhaps accurately, i just don't want anyone to think i am that sort of arsehole, ya know? i always wondered where the terms come from because they make no sense. being jewish, kike really always baffled me, although i wonder if my dad knew what it meant being that he speaks hebrew and yiddish and i no longer remember much of anything at all. ah hebrew school. the main thing i remember was that i hated it and that this obnoxious kid always picked on me and always brought his baseball stuff with him to class and one day had a big orange and hit it with his baseball batt and it exploded all over everyone. bizarre. anyway, so i felt compelled to say something, so say something back to me so i feel better about it.

what else? migraine city. that is where i live lately. i was a wreck last night, i took a shower late and i think another even later. jake sat in the bathroom while i showered because i was all dizzy. also, i have a mask i got from butter's sissy's shop...i think that name is right and i kept going back downstairs to nuke it because it really feels awesome on a migraine head, and i went toddling down the stairs in the dark all dizzy and on meds and migraines. i reckon if i fell, it would be like a drunk falling and i would just collapse and not get hurt:) or not. i have been really lucky that way. when i was younger, i wasn't good at spotting the symptoms of a migraine and also, more often than not, it would hit me full force out of nowhere. beyond that, until the last 5 years or so, the migraine meds kind of sucked, and i knew i would have to go to the hospital when it was that bad, because it wouldn't go away on its own when it was like that. now, with the new generation of meds, if i get a super bad one, once i take my meds, i might still feel crummy, but i mainly just have to sleep it off. that might end up being an entire day, or two days, but i (know on wood) haven't ended up in the ER in years, which is a fantastic thing.

the other day i watched marie antoinette. it was a visually gorgeous movie, i loved the soundtrack, but the acting was not so great, the story was not so great and the bizarre choice of accents drove me absolutely bonkers. rather than to either use the accurate accents or just have everyone use the same accent, there was a horrible mixture of everything. it made no sense. also, it was as though they stuck to a lot of historical information, but then had a bunch of random stuff that wasn't accurate, or was not of the period, but it really seemed random, like accidental. i assume it wasn't, but i dunno. i loved the costuming, the sets and historical buildings...wowza...the hair and makeup, so i didn't feel mad that i watched it or anything. i knew a bit about her, just from my art history stuff, but all of those royals are so convoluted and intermingled that it is very hard to keep it all straight and remember who is who and who is married to who, what their title is, etc, etc, etc. when i looked up some of the characters and many of the much more likable and interesting people were not mentioned or were painted in a different light. one of the really interesting people was the kind's mistress who had an amazing life and really had been more than a prostitute, as well as the court painter, who was a woman and was working as a professional portrait painter in her early teens as well as getting accepted to the academie, which is a remarkable accomplishment for anyone, let alone a woman in that era. and she was gorgeous from what i have seen in the portraits of her. marie antoinette was not so pretty from what i saw. her surviving daughter was very pretty, though, and had a pretty impressive life.

well, i am getting spacey. i had a whopper of a migraine today and didn't get to see butter and lauren for supper, but i told jakie to go. i couldn't stand the idea of smelling the food. i did want to mention this blog that was kind enough to mention me, and check out her gorgeous etsy shop, fancypicnic.etsy.com. seriously, several of her pieces are just...wow. lovely. so thanks charlotte! i am so happy to meet ya!

oh, and on another etsy note, first, i have been listing things daily, so make sure to check in. next, i happened by this really cool new(?) store on etsy that sells kit wheels(similar to a louet single treadle, but with a sliding hook!) and a spinning wheel that has a bike wheel! the bike wheel one is double treadle. the kit wheel is only 150 bucks! you have to put it together, but only need a screwdriver i think. pretty cool! i would love to try one out. so cool. and the bobbins are fairly big, too and only 9 bucks each for extras or 25 bucks for 3. how cool?

i have a bridal shrug made from a sparkly single almost done, i need to spin a bit more yarn to finish it, but it is super pretty. i will probably put a satin tie closure on it. it is so pretty already.

oh! one more thing. i keep doing that. i plan to make a mannequin for display that is crocheted. cool? i am thinking either squeaky yarn, because it is so firm and sturdy, or maybe cheapo peaches and cream yarn or even a heavy cotton twine if i can find any of those things cheaply and in a large volume. i actually have a lifesized person-shaped red and cream striped sculpture that i never got around to stuffing. if there was a heavy weight paper yarn or something like that i could use, that texture would be amazing, but to spin it myself, or prep it and have enough for a torso and head would be an endeavor. i can't think of any other material that would work and wouldn't feel horrible on my hands and tear me up. the cotton twine might work well. if anyone has a few cones of something heavy worsted or heavier, and you wanna swap or sell it, let me know and i will mull it over. the other thing i plan to do is to make a torso with a head out of papier mache or something like that. there are all of those tutorials for making a dressmaker's form by putting on a tshirt and wrapping duct tape around it thickly, cuttin off the shirt and then joinging it back up and stuffing it(if you want more specific directions, google "how to make a mannequin or dressform" and it will pop up. i will probably do some version of that, maybe with the plaster imbued bandages i have or duct tape, but i will just use my vintage dressmakers form. when i was doing my artist apprenticeship before i graduated college, i worked for this artist named adrienne heinrich (amazing artist, has pieces in the national gallery permanent collection!!), she had a sketch for a woman's form with a birdlike head that was made out of woven wicker strips. i had to build it for her, and it was built over a 1800's dressform she had and was incredibly cool. if i knew wehre to get the wicker strips, would make one for display. i have seen those kinds of displays for sale and they cost a fortune. it is hard to find something interesting or sool that has a head on it and a body, too, and for a lot of the neckwarmers and scarves and hats, i want people to be able to see what it looks like all put together, right? plus, i am the only female live model i have acess to, really and it would be a bit tricky to take pics of myself that way, right?

okay, headache kicking, feeling goony, apologies for any crazy spelling. i will most likely fix that to-morrow.

xoxo
n.

eureka! foam core?

2008-09-11T23:10:00.005-04:00

okay, so i have issues of my commercial yarns getting all tangled up in the plastic bins i keep em in. i have been trying to figure out what i could use to keep them all separate, but easy to see. i was looking on pounce on etsy. there is a guy that makes soap molds. i am not sure what the divider part is made for, but it looked like foam core. before i realized it was a soap mold, i thought it was a drawer organizer for art supplies, which would actually be an amazing idea if the little compartments came out separately. or does such a thing exist? if it does, it wouldn't be as cheap as cutting strips of foam core to the length and width of your container and then the container and then notches, like booze boxes have. anyway, how i didn't think of it before, no clue, it is rather simple, but i think that will really work! wooooooot!

what else? well, i have been having bad headaches all the time (i feel guilty saying migraine. dunno why. makes me feel like a whiner) anyway, it makes me feel woozy and dizzy and my vision has been messed up. i woke up feeling hideous and after i showered and talked to dear katrina for a bit, i felt up to running errands. go me! i got to see my bud gabe, mick the antique guy, and i got a really cool green pleather rocking armchair i have been eyeballing from the thrifty antique store for 10 bucks. it looks perfect, if rather dirty. i will clean it up and see what i think of it. i may reupholster it because it looks like it is mainly put togher with upholstery tacks, the shape looks older than the style of pleather, so i think it might be a surprise what it underneath it. woooooooooot. jake will get it for me to-morrow and i will take photos of the other few things i got. someone had dropped off a HUGE box full of vintage patterns. gorgeous stuff from the late 30's through the early 60's, really complex, tailored amazing things. anyway, they were all cut, so i didn't pick any up. there were a bunch of children's a teen ones, too. all amazing with matching coats, jackets, hats. i would love to see that woman's closet. i imagine her friends were jealous and/or thought she had more money than she did. i kept one pattern from her lot, from the late 30's i think. so cool. again, to-morrow.

i was looking at anthropologie's site to see what they were selling for fall, UGLY. i am sad that the style is heading to 70's and 80's. blech. i guess if i wait a while it will go back to something i like. or i will learn to sew, like i always wanted to, but only have the most rudimentary skills and a fear of my machine. i don't have good attention to that kind of detail, things that need to be perfect, and i think in tailoring, that is not a good thing. unless you want to look like you are malformed, fatter than you are, or a crackpot (what is the etymology of that word? i looked it up. here is what i found...

I would guess that the assumption is that it’s a moderately obvious compound. It suggests that a person’s brain is like a cracked pot, in other words that he or she is in some way deranged. Pot was once a slang term for the skull, and something cracked was obviously defective — a older expression with a similar meaning that used the same word was crack-brain, and of course we still have the slang term cracked for someone who’s thought to be crazy

found it here....http://www.worldwidewords.org/qa/qa-cra2.htm
and this:

Crackpot "pretentious, worthless person" dates from 1883. The superstition that it is bad luck to step on sidewalk cracks has been traced to c.1890.

from this super cool site! http://www.etymonline.com i am bookmarking it! plus, i need to write down all of the words that i wonder about, to look up later. oooh! kewl! if you use that site, tell me what word(s) you looked up. i think jake will use it all the time.

okay, i got carried away. you know how the slang, ne racist term for a jewish person is a kike? just the other day i was wondering where that came from. guess what? found it! and it is kind of interesting and i love that the jews got the name from refusing christianity, cause we have oppositional defiant disorder like that. wanna see?

kike:derogatory slang for "Jew," 1904, perhaps originating among Ger.-American Jews in reference to newcomers from Eastern Europe, whose names ended in -ki or -ky. Philip Cowen, first editor of "The American Hebrew," suggests a source in Yiddish kikel "circle." According to him, Jewish immigrants, ignorant of writing with the Latin alphabet, signed their entry forms with a circle, eschewing the "X" as a sign of Christianity. Ellis Island immigration inspectors began calling such people kikels, and the term shortened as it passed into general use.

and the nasty word for a lesbian that never made sense to me, either, although, it isn't as bad as i thought it would be. here it is:

dyke Look up dyke at Dictionary.com
1931, Amer.Eng., probably shortening of morphadike, dialectal garbling of hermaphrodite, but bulldyker "engage in lesbian activities" is attested from 1921, and a source from 1896 lists dyke as slang for "the vulva."

and this gem:

faggot (1) Look up faggot at Dictionary.com
1279, "bundle of twigs bound up," from O.Fr. fagot "bundle of sticks," from It. faggotto, dim. of V.L. *facus, from L. fascis "bundle of wood" (see fasces). Esp. used for burning heretics (a sense attested from 1555), so that phrase fire and faggot was used to mean "punishment of a heretic." Heretics who recanted were required to wear an embroidered figure of a faggot on their sleeve, as an emblem and reminder of what they deserved.
faggot (2) Look up faggot at Dictionary.com
"male homosexual," 1914, Amer.Eng. slang (shortened form fag is from 1921), probably from earlier contemptuous term for "woman" (1591), especially an old and unpleasant one, in reference to faggot (1) "bundle of sticks," as something awkward that has to be carried (cf. baggage). It was used in this sense in 20c. by D.H. Lawrence and James Joyce, among others. It may also be reinforced by Yiddish faygele "homosexual," lit. "little bird." It also may have roots in Brit. public school slang fag "a junior who does certain duties for a senior" (1785), with suggestions of "catamite," from fag (v.). This was also used as a verb.

"He [the prefect] used to fag me to blow the chapel organ for him." ["Boy's Own Paper," 1889]

Other obsolete senses of faggot were "man hired into military service simply to fill out the ranks at muster" (1700) and "vote manufactured for party purposes" (1817). The oft-heard statement that male homosexuals were called faggots in reference to their being burned at the stake is an etymological urban legend. Burning was sometimes a punishment meted out to homosexuals in Christian Europe (on the suggestion of the Biblical fate of Sodom and Gomorah), but in England, where parliament had made homosexuality a capital offense in 1533, hanging was the method prescribed. Any use of faggot in connection with public executions had long become an English historical obscurity by the time the word began to be used for "male homosexual" in 20th century American slang, whereas the contemptuous slang word for "woman" (and the other possible sources or influences listed here) was in active use.

another racist term that made no sense to me...

wetback "illegal Mexican immigrant to the U.S." is attested from c.1924, from notion of wading the Rio Grande.

and another:

*

mick Look up mick at Dictionary.com
derogatory slang for "Irishman," 1856, from nickname of common Irish name Michael (q.v.).

and another:

wop Look up wop at Dictionary.com
derogatory for "Italian," 1912, Amer.Eng. slang, apparently from southern It. dialect guappo "dandy, dude, stud," a greeting among male Neapolitans, said to be from Sp. guapo "bold, dandy," which is from L. vappa "sour wine," also "worthless fellow;" related to vapidus

i am blown away by how long ago all of these come from and how people that so freely use them have no clue what they are saying.

okay, so back to anthropologie...i saw a few things that were interesting, i would never buy it from there. i would rather pay an artisan, i fear. thissy one
thissy one
thissy one

these kewl shoes

well, on that racist note...i found this shirt and am seriously considering buying it, i told the seller, the only reason i haven't (other than poverty) is that i am hoping as jake put it "she will slink back into obscurity"...check this out, and buy it, and wear it around...
here is the link for the tshirt for sale if you want one. you know you do.

okay, i need to try to get to sleep. monthly doctor appt to-morrow. i flaked and forgot to go to my real apppointment, which they are used to at this point. they don't even get mad. they don't remind me anymore either, which would solve the problem. you can't expect clients of a neurologist to remember stuff. seriously.

xo
n.

free money here!

2008-09-10T00:39:00.001-04:00

so, i have been so out of sorts. i have bad nightmares and can't sleep and then the migraines. today, i worked through it because i had stuff that HAD to be packed up to go, which takes me for goddamned ever. i am so so slow. not slow...scattered, so there is more getting up and down than there should be. scattered. my blood pressure is always killer low, so i try to set up where i need to be and sit. it i have to run all over the place, i really wear myself out. anyway, i did some spinning for orders and a bit of carding, packing, labeling and more. i didn't talk to anyone. didn't eat breakfast, just fed the girls and had a coffee. around 7 hours into working, i started to feel really shaky and hungry, so i made us burgers from this amazing free range local angus i got at the farmer's market. even a bit overcooked, it tasted soooo good and made the whole house have that bbq smell. so yummy. or maybe i was super hungry. i am hungry now. i am trying really hard not to eat late at night, which is the main time i eat. annoying.

the only other thing is that sara barracuda scares the shit out of me. i read up on her a bit, but honestly, i hated her the second i heard her speak. she is just everything that i loathe in the world, and somehow, being a woman, makes it even worse. oh hillary, where have you gone? i am very liberal, but i try to stay out of politics (jake and the rest of my family are very involved, my inlaws are all conservative republicans, even chirs and marlo, so i don't ever talk about it to them) but honestly, it just scares me. the republican ticket is scary. if he dies, she is going to run the world? she has burned bridges in every place she has worked or held office. for example, she okayed putting sales tax on EVERYTHING including food in alaska where so many people are poor and have small children. read up on it. you will be unhappy too. and maybe the republicans will be scared enough to not just vote because they should, but vote for the best candidate that won't leave us poor, uneducated and homeless. off of the soapbox. it just worries me more than these things usually do. i had the same feeling about bush and look what happened. we all know i have a bit of a 6th sense, so.

last, i ordered this amazing book that was recommended on someone's blog, i think maybe tricia? was it you? anyway...if you like smart children's books, or art, or illustration or have kids, get it. here
seriously. it is amazing. i am ordering one for my niece, she will love it.

xo everyone,
n.

i got a treasury on etsy!

2008-09-07T23:39:00.003-04:00

i had em a lot for a little while and then not so much. sniff. i am turning over a new leaf! right-o! here it is
weeee!

so just a quickie, i am okay, i have had lots of migraines and have been really pooped out, but this week...i will be smokin'! not cigarettes. not that either! geez. i mean, doing a lot of work. sales have been picking up, thank god. it is scary when it slows down. and then you realize that EVERYONE is hurting and have no sales. then you realize that you need to infuse your goods with crack cocaine. seriously. that is why people love my stuff. the crack. now you know.

i will be taking photos of the new goodies. i have been crocheting a lot lately. i made a really cute delicate short sleeve bridal shrug, but i am yet to see if it will actually fit a person or not. i don't have anyone super skinny around me, my dress form will have to do, but she doesn't get super small, i don't think. for example, i bought this amazing vintage top and couldn't close the form down enough to get the top even nearly zipped. and the form is from the 50's! i thought the shrug would be bigger than it was. i intended it to be a small or medium, but i didn't think it would be as small as it was. so hard to figure out. plus i made up the pattern and redid it a few times and then i added elements after crocheting the sleeves, so it will be nearly impossible to take it apart at this point. we will see. if my dressform can wear it, i will take a photo of her wearing it.

not much else. jakie worked every day this weekend, so it was not much of a weekend for anyone. before telling me he was working sunday, he brought me coffee and doughnuts. shady, eh? i like how he thinks. i ordered him award winning cupcakes fromhere. i have been eyeballing them forever, they are giant cupcakes in a ball jar. she used to have a zillion flavors and it was just out of her kitchen and it got so giant, all from etsy, that she had to get a bakery facility to use! she said that she recently was told that her business would be in the holiday edition of instyle magazine! i have a feeling new employees will be needed. soon. she uses scharfenburger chocolate and cocoa, high end vanilla from madagascar, everything is high end, so i am excited to get em. i got a dark chocolate one and a vanilla vanilla one. i cannot wait. i think it is in a 1 1/2 pint jar. so. lots to eat. i had to get 2 to make the shipping more bearable. right? i HAD to. anyway, i will be keeping you posted. it always cheers me to see that not cutting corners and giving customers a great product (i am assuming at this point, but from her sales, i think it will be goooooood) and put your heart into it, it pays off. and then people rip you off. le sigh. sniff.

okay. off i go. photos to-morrow, time allowing.

xo
n.

i loves me my baby!!

2008-09-04T11:44:00.002-04:00

DSC09659.JPG, originally uploaded by luxefibre.

hey everybody! jake here. i wanted to stop by and say a little somethin' about my lady. she is absolutely right... i am amazing. see ya.

okay, just goofing.

i'm currently at work and have usurped natasha's blog momentarily to tell you all how lucky i am. natasha often posts nice things about me, and i appreciate everyones kindness, but i have to confess that it is she that makes me who i am. in a phrase, she is my everlasting blue sky. i love this lady immensely. she is incredibly long suffering of me in so many ways, yet she never, ever makes an issue out of any of my quirks. long hours away from home... she is sympathetic. i go out and purchase major items on a whim... totally understanding. doesn't even balk. amazing! she is my absolute everything. through all of her health struggles she remains such a light in the sky to others around her. always willing to help out in any way she can and never uttering a 'woe is me'. even as i write this i can't believe my good fortune. in fact, sweetheart, i think some of your health problems may stem from your oversized heart taking away from your immune system. thats it! you don't have an issue with your immune system, your heart is just too goddam big for the rest of your tiny lil' self. you have cardio-monumentalism. bunyanesque in its magnitude.
anyhow, i digress.
baby, i love you oh so much. i can't begin to tell you how much you mean to me. any light that shines on me is just the reflection from you. you are everything that i look forward to. you are my clear blue sky.

take care everyone. thanks for all of your support to my girl. i love you guys. also, a special shout out to shannon, barbe and diana. thanks for being pals. x's and o's comin' your way.

sweetheart, i lub ya.

take good care, all.

jake.

happy 5th anniversary jakie!! i loooove you!

2008-09-01T23:11:00.004-04:00

hey all! sorry i have been so bad at blogging, but i had an excellent combo of no internet/phone most of the time and then a whopper of a migraine that just wouldn't go away. i was supposed to see my bff heather this weekend, but i was so dizzy and sick
that i couldn't drive. bummed me out. last night i was really messed up and the other nite jake said i asked him why he "written his schedule on his chest" and another thing i can't remember. jakie, leave it in the comments if you remember.

so despite it being our 5th wedding anniversary, although we have known each other for
about 15 years (!!!!) and dated maybe 2 years before we got married? is that right
jake? anyway, so i wanted to make a post about my jakie and how much i love him,
although, i think you all know that, already. i will number all of the reasons i love him.
8.
when i was a teen, one of my favorite bands was depeche mode. my favorite song (still one of my faves) is a song called somebody. and as corny as it is, i always thought that the song epitomized everything i wanted in my someone, but i never thought iwould have. i am talking, since probably 8th grade...here are the lyrics, although i always think it is silly when people do this...

I want somebody to share
Share the rest of my life
Share my innermost thoughts
Know my intimate details
Someone who'll stand by my side
And give me support
And in return
he'll get my support
he will listen to me
When I want to speak
About the world we live in
And life in general
Though my views may be wrong
They may even be perverted
he'll hear me out
And won't easily be converted
To my way of thinking
In fact he'll often disagree
But at the end of it all
he will understand me

I want somebody who cares
For me passionately
With every thought and
With every breath
Someone who'll help me see things
In a different light
All the things I detest
I will almost like
I don't want to be tied
To anyones strings
I'm carefully trying to steer clear of
Those things
But when I'm asleep
I want somebody
Who will put their arms around me
And kiss me tenderly
Though things like this
Make me sick
In a case like this
I'll get away with it

1.that is him. that song, was written about him.

2.also the "lovesong" by the cure, that always makes me think of him too, because no matter if we are together, apart, nearby, if i was old, no matter anything, i would always love him, like i have never loved anyone and never will again. well, maybe a fuzzy,i love my lil kitties, but that is different:)

3.and that really is it in a nutshell. he is there for me. he is always, at a drop of a hat there for me. he would do anything for me. he is always supportive and kind.

4.he sees something in me that i have never seen in myself, and that thing is unshakable. it always has been. i have never had that before. not with anyone.

5.he is generous to a fault. he never gets tired of me. if he does, he hides it really really well.

7.i am disorganized and scattered. he is super neat and organized. he doesn't ever bitch at me, even though i am sure it bugs him.

8. if we have plans, really exciting fun plans and at the last minute i don't feel well enough to go...we don't go. he acts like it doesn't matter. like he isn't annoyed or disappointed. he says he's happy just to be with me rather than seeing BB King down the street. no big deal. i have never had that before. not from family. friends, no one. we have turned around from our destination and gone back home because i was sick. more than once.

8.for one valentine's day (or birthday?) not sure, he made his mum (who was really embarrassed, i think) pick up a ton of rose petals and he did up the bathroom with a bath and candles and petals and bubble bath. he does stuff like that.

9.he brings flowers or my favorite european chocolates for no reason, or if i haven't been feeling well. he brings me cds and magazines.

10.he makes me pancakes even though he doesn't like cooking and doesn't like pancakes.

11. he makes me coffee on the weekends.
12. when i am too sick to cook, he makes dinner. this is often, lately. he hates cooking.
13. he rubs my back or neck tirelessly when it is bothering me. he scratches my back when i am itchy from my stupid patches.
14. he constantly worries if i have eaten enough, or have what i need.
15. he always believes me. i am a painfully honest person. it runs in my family, and quite often, things you don't want to hear, or don't want anyone to hear will be out there. as a child and teen and even grown up, i had chronic migraines, bad enough that i would end up in the hospital, which was super bad because i was terrified of needles and, i had UTI or kidney infections fairly often, plus fatigue and depression, among other things. we moved around a lot, so i hated school and was picked on. anyway! my parents never believed that i was REALLY sick. granted, i hated school, so it would be fair to think i was maybe faking because i got picked on so badly, but my lupus, etc, was going way back to them, some things back to birth, even. anyway, jake always believes me. i have a deep sense of guilt that i should just push it, i will be fine, see what happens, but i get really paranoid of people seeing me undone and out of control. it is a scary thing. so when i feel bad, i don't go. he NEVER questions it. never makes me feel bad, or feel like a liar or a whimp or anything else. it just is what it is . it is still something i deal with. between friends and family that have made comments and plenty that have not said anything wrong at all, i have major issues about it.

jakie knew me when i had a double major in college, doing overload, plus working full time, and i started to get sick and stressed and my personal relationships were really bad, but he was always my friend. he never held a grudge. if he had, we may never have ended up together.

16. he is beautiful inside and out. he really is. he has no clue that he is, but what can ya do? he always smells nice. he always is happy to see me, and see the kitties, and they run down to see him. they adore him.

17. he loves animals so much. he is such a soft kind sweet heart...when i found pavel, who was a week old, maybe, and we took him away from his mom because it looked like she wouldn't take him back (she was a feral lil lady) i brought this tiny guy home, his eyes were glued shut still from being a newborn and his ears were folded over and i showed him, i was still sore over my sweet black cat egon passing away and didn't feel ready, but as soon as he held him, i remember it so clearly, and i have the photo, i just need to find it, but he had him in sort of a burping position and it clicked. seriously. i have never seen anything like it before. they made a connection, like they had known each othe rin a life before. from that day on, they were inseparable. when i see a man that is able to take care of a tiny new animal. feed them, make em poop, clean em up, cuddle with them, he was just in heaven. he loved someone waiting for him to come home. someone to get up in the morning and hang out. someone to cuddle with him at night.

18. now he reads i can has cheezburger more than once a day. seriously.

19. he is open to new things. he is happy to go do whatever. to try whatever. to eat new things.to learn new things. he always has been since i first met him as a pup of

20. he was ready to learn new things. he is incredibly smart and has a wonderful memory for books and music, numbers, all kinds of stuff. he wants to know as much as he possibly can know about the things he loves. he doesn't care what anyone thinks. i daresay that in any of this adult life, he never really has. not in an attitudey way, he just seems like it doesn't exist in his world, which is just right.

21. he will try just about anything. he loves going new places and meeting new people. i tell him that i think he will like a certain thing and he is willing to try it, and he usually does like it.

22. on the rare occasion that i do clean up or cook, he showers me with positive reinforcement and tells me how awesome of a meal it was, when really, he is just pleased not to have to eat peanut butter and jelly.

23. he is tall. i like that. he has big sexy, strong hands. couple of scars. sexxxxy. he has a sexy body. he loves to cuddle. he always smells good, even when he says he stinks. not possible. he's packing heat. i ejoy the heat. grrrrrrrr!

24. he has the most pouty gorgeous mouth, plus perfect teeth. he is an incredible kisser.

25. he has amazing blue eyes that he got from his momma. when he is tannish, his widows peak and the hair around his face gets almost white, which is just gorgeous. i love it.

26. he will try anything.

27. we hold hands. we shower together still.

28. i will make a point to but new things up every so often, because it is too easy to forget how wonderful your other half it. he is more than my other half. he helps me to be a better person. he give me the guts to be the person that i want to be, that i am working on being.

29. jake is one of the hardest working people i have ever met. he works hard, and he does the job right. i feel like it is just a matter of time before he gets moved up in his business because there aren't many people out there like jakie. there aren't.

i love you jakie. i hope that no matter what, all of the little things you do. all of the big things that you do, everything you do means more to me than you can imagine. i adore you. happy anniversary baby. and many many many many more. you are it.
mwah. mwah. mwah.

try to be happy.

2008-08-28T00:33:00.005-04:00

over this past weekend, we (jake was just along for the ride) watched a movie called twilight (i think) that was basically about how short life is, and how we have regrets about things that don't matter...or rather, that we romanticize, and in the end, it is a waste of time and energy. that is always the story in marquez books, in tolstoy, in all of my favorite stories. at the end of the movie, the old woman asks her daughter who is in chronic fear of any commitment. afraid she is doing the wrong thing...so she tells her daughter, "try to be happy...". and it struck a chord. i am not an unhappy person. i don't think i am. i used to be much more negative than i am now. i felt like i had no control of my life. i don't feel like that now. sometimes i do. i guess everyone does sometimes. i guess i thought to myself that it is important to put effort into being positive and happy. i never thought of it that way before. is that odd? so i ask...do you try to be happy?

i want to make sure that i do as much as i can. to appreciate the days that i feel well enough to do what i love. appreciate the people that i love, the things i love...to smell the air. to sit outside and feel the air on my skin. listen to the rain. hold my husband's hand. do it all. as much as i can. and to be present when it happens.

i know so many people that are miserable to their core. it is WHO they ARE. it makes them unable to appreciate anything. eventually, it swallows them up. i won't be that. i will make an active effort not to complain. not to be mean. not to be critical for the fun of it. i do that. i swear i have a gene that makes me do it.

the internet and phone have been working off and on since last week, more often not. the first day, i got really upset about it. i tried to take stuff apart and figure out the problem and got dizzy and overheated and it wouldn't work and then i thought to myself...it isn't that big of a deal. if i need to go to the coffee shop and do some online stuff, i will. not a big deal. i woke up super early on the weekend, jake was helping a friend move. i went to the thrift store, my friend gabe called me and i stopped by a street fair down the street and got to see him for a little while and got to feel happy that before 11 a.m., i had run errands and gone to the thrift store and seen one of my best friends. and then i went back home and got some work done. got to do work on the back porch. take photos.

i have had a good week punctuated with migraines from ovedoing it, or maybe the weather, but i have gotten stuff done in the up time. i cleaned the bedroom. took apart the vacuum cleaner, and then bragged to jake that i had finally got it to work again, and then it ran for a second and clicked off, silent forever. i think all of the cat hair killed the motor. anyway, i didn't get mad that i spent all of that time messing with the machine, taking it apart, inhaling dust, cleaning it, cleaning the filters, etc, etc. jake brought up the shop vac and i cleaned up the room with that. sad but true, i am finally learning, at this stage in my life, how to try to be happy. i guess some people never even realize they should try. better late than never.

i have been working on lots of things, and i listed some of em, plus some really great vintage finds in my luxe.etsy.com shop. so pop by and see. okay?

oh! on the television front, i discovered a really amazing thing...you know that horrible, upsetting show called "sweet sixteen" which is basically about super bratty, spoiled rich kids having sweet sixteen parties that cost more than most people make in 10 years. seriously. anyway, so the worst of the brats have parents that realize that they have to do something or their kids are going to end up worthless adults so they put them on a show called exiled. the kid gets sent to usually a 3rd world country and have to live with a tribe in whatever locale. the one this week was with the Masai in africa. i am a bit jealous. the problem is that they aren't there that long. the girl on this episode is actually an okay girl. she is realizing what a great life she has. hopefully she will go on to use her gifts for good and not evil. the Masai are such beautiful people. i studied a bit about their tribal life years ago, but beyond that, they are gorgeous people. i am wondering how long the brats will improve their behavior for.

missed you all whilst the interwebs was not functioning. i really did.
smoochies
n.

butt-ons. a tutorial.

2008-08-18T23:46:00.004-04:00

http://flickr.com/photos/30852523@N00/2777169814/sizes/m/in/photostream/
kind of a strange word, isn't it? hmmmm. anyway, here they are. i dragged all of my stuff outside and finished up the last batch of buttons. i needed some for these new wraps i have been working on, and i made some that are about a 2 inch diameter. i am excited to use em. so, i do plan to give a little tutorial for what NOT to do, more than anything. ask me. i know these things.
1. okay, so i figured that i would get the gigantor block of white polymer clay. it is cheap and i cover most of it anyway, so what's the difference. thrifty me. yeah. well, the difference is that it totally sucks. it is crumbly no matter what you do to it, it falls apart. once baked, it gets kind of rubbery, at best, and when i used my heat gun on it to heat the embossing powder, it got super bendy and some of them cracked. so my first advice is not to buy the big block of cheapo white.
2.warm it up, roll it out...a lot. what i learned is that a bit thicker is better than thinner. the translucent one is much harder to condition and roll out, but it is really strong and looks amazing with the pigment powders. i was surprised at how cool it looked.
3.if you are making buttons, make bigger holes than you think you will need. they close up a bit, and if you use embossing powder on them, it will shrink it up even more.
4. texture is your best friend. the embossing powder and pigment powders stick best to a textured surface. use anything you like. the bristles of a brush look super. the sidewalk. pebbles. lace. whatever you fancy. there is really no need to buy textured stamps. just diy! prick holes with a fork. have fun.
5.i used pigment powders before i baked the clay. i rolled some of it onto the surface, rubbed other colors into it with my finger. others, i speckled different colors on and gently rolled it, so it spreads a bit, but isn't all blended and muddy. when you bake the buttons, most of this bakes in and doesn't move around too much at all when you paint on the glycerin. you can just but a coat or two of embossing powder over the baked on powder if you like how it looks.

6.make sure you use a non-stick surface. i use parchment paper. wax paper would work, or freezer paper, too.
7. glycerin is what an embossing ink is made of. you can get a whole bottle of it for a buck or two at the drugstore. it is clear, of course, but if you are using pigment powders and don't need the ink, just use a paintbrush or cotton swab. i diluted the glycerin with water, but i bet alcohol would work really well. if you have embossing ink, you can use that, of course. dip the button into embossing powder. it will stick to the wet spots on the button. with your heat gun, heat it up until it is all melted. i like to rub jacquard pigment powders on at this point and then add a bit more embossing powder, and heat, repeating until i like how it looks.
8.the glycerin makes everything greasy even after you are done, so i used a mild cleaner and wiped all of the buttons down really well to make sure everything is nice and clean and sealed. i was covered in sparkle and powder, anyway.

so onto some wraps i did...one is from my brother's wedding...

and this is a brand new stole. i plan to put one of the new buttons on it, i actually made this last batch just for it. so.

the wraps are listed on luxe.etsy for any of you with a special day coming up.

off to work on some things and maybe sleep. i haven't been sleeping. le sigh.
xo
n.

meet milo the moth

2008-08-15T23:06:00.002-04:00

i have been working on all kinds of stuff, and what i realize is that i can work for hours and hours, unbeknownst to me and not even nearly get everything done. i did get this done, tho, and i would like some advice...
hey guys, i finished this little guy, milo the moth just yesterday. he was awaiting his wings. i painted a plaque that was supposed to serve as a display for him, but couldn't figure out how i would attach it. any ideas? i am thinking it might just not happen. anyway, here are the photos of milo and of the plaque.

and here is the plaque:

milo is about the size of his siloutte.

i found this site, yearbookme.com, i think it is called. this is the scary aftermath...

i got a decent amount of work done today, including making some BIIIIG polymer clay buttons for some of the snowbride yarns and wraps, etc, that i make. they need to be baked and glazed. photos soon, of course.

also, i have some really cool new stuff that will be listed on the etsy store either to-morrow or sunday. yesterday it rained like crazy, and today it was foggy and i couldn't get decent photos. i had hoped to see my friend this week, but i didn't get stuff done in as timely of a manner as i had hoped. ah well. next week, i hope.

while i was working in the studio, i caught part of oprah, and anderson cooper was doing a story on poverty in america. blows me away. it is a shame that so many people abuse the welfare system and so many people in need pay for it. especially kids.

more to-morrow
xo
n.

teeny tiny

2008-08-13T21:34:00.001-04:00

well, i had a lot to do today, but i could barely get my butt out of bed. so annoying. i couldn't sleep well last night and kept having those ticks that wake you up, like you are falling down stairs or tripped on something. at one point, i woke myself up because i raised my arm to wave at someone. in bed. ya. once i finally got up and got some coffee going....well, i took apart the coffee machine to clean it and couldn't figure out with my muddled brain how to put it back together. seriously. i ran it with a piece missing out of frustration. i had giant roots in my hair so i dyed it, while it was sitting, i checked email, showered, tried to clean myself up a bit, put in pin curls, which i still have in but the pins are hurting my head. dunno if i can bear to sleep with em, i am not even sure if they will look cute or not. i will be mad if i suffered with them and it looks stupid anyway. i was so exhausted after my 2 hours of being awake, that i fell asleep on and off until jake got home.

mainly it annoys me because i have some new and exciting things that need to be photographed and listed, also, i was contacted by stampington to be in a new plushies quarterly and i need to get the disc in the mail to-morrow. so i need to be okay to-morrow. i will probably take a pep pill if i feel poopy. i had hoped to see heather, but it might not be a possibility to-morrow. if i had actually done something today, it would have been okay, but ya know. i also was contacted by a couple of new shops interested in my fiber and yarn, so that is fantastic, even if they are just small accounts. in this horrible economy, i am happy to make a bit wherever i can make it. i am trying to bob along in the ebb and flow, ya know? good thing i am REALLY buoyant. i have a lot of new things in the works.

xo
n.

i've got soul...but i'm not a soldier

2008-08-11T22:38:00.003-04:00

i have been a bad blogger. it weighs on my mind. i apologize. that said, i have been working on lots of things and new ideas. i have had some bad health days, but nothing too horrible. and the weather is so amazing here, cool and breezy, but sunny. peeps loves to go out in the backyard with me, she behaves herself pretty well, she basically wants to lie in the grass, eat the grass, roll around and then come back in when she gets too hot or thirsty. it only took 15 years to get her under control. i am an excellent cat trainer, clearly. ha.

i got a couple of cute shoes at target for really cheap:

cute, no? jake thought that the flats made my feet look strange, but i thought they would be cute with jeans or skirts.

i got to see my friend donna today who picked up her new yarn (thanks so much, btw!) and she looked incredible and i realized how much i like that chicky.

more soon. i promise!
xo
n.

quickie...

2008-07-29T21:16:00.003-04:00

so, i have been fighting a headache since i woke up, put off going to hang out with heather until to-morrow, but i got a lot done today, headache or no.

so...what did i do?

i have been working on my fall collection of knitted and crocheted things, including this convertible shrug. if you go over to flickr, you can see all of the different ways to wear it. it is hand dyed and handspun merino (of course) and i crocheted super soft organic brown cotton all around the outside and made some big circles in it which can be just ornamental, or you can buttpn through there, and there is also a little button loop. really pretty. i love it. working with my own yarn is a treat i don't usually allow myself. i need to start shopping my wares around, and i am just no good at marketing myself. no good at all. it drives me nuts. i asked my mom to be my iowa rep, which she agreed to. i am just not sure that she will understand enough about what goes into each thing to know what to tell the buyers. we will see. it would definitely be easier to do with her closer by.

i also experimented with papercutting. most of them turned out junk. i am still figuring out what does and doesn't work. i have a hard time thinking in 2D, plus i tend to get confused as to what is outline and what isn't. one of the elaborate paper cutting artists i saw actually makes an outline for the entire area to be cut, and i think that would make it easier for me. i just don't think in terms of flat images. go figure.

i am really nauseous and feel icky, so i am gonna go and crochet a bit.
xo
n.

gah!

2008-07-28T17:24:00.002-04:00

i had one of those odd days that seemed really short and like i didn't do anything, but i actually did, talking on the phone most of that while. i FINALLY did some laundry and hung it up outside. i love that about summer. my mom's condo plan doesn't allow them to have clotheslines. i saw that there is a movement going on in several states to get the right to dry. it would be one thing to hang your underpants in the front yard for a week. another thing for them to be in the back on a rack or a line for a few hours until they are dry. geez. i hope never to live anywhere that gives you crap about that. next they will tell me that i can't have my giant inflatable lighted santa claus in the front yarn all year round! or the street signs telling santa which way my house is. the thing is, being jewish, i figure maybe he comes to my house on a different day. right?

i practiced some papercutting last night, no photos, but some photos of the mess that came after one time... i did do two cuttings of the red leaf there at the bottom. no photos yet. i am actually kind of still figuring out what works well for a papercutting, and what doesn't. i am a bit slow learning in that respect. i got one of the padded martha stewart craft knifes. it is nice and has a cap. i also thought that the origami paper would cut great, people all liked it, but it is so thin, it just rips. so. i have been using all kinds of other papers. we know i have lots, right?

in other news, barbe made this amazing necklace using a few of the paper beads i had sent her. those were in the first batch and some of them were a bit cracked and beat up. now i know the secrets. or do i? anyway, i was really flattered. my heart beats fast when i see my stuff in someone's work. i think katrina used something of mine in one of her pieces, too. when clients send me photos of what they make, i get so excited. or where a softie lives, or a piece of art? so fun!

i got to talk to heather for a little while tonight. she is really sad, but she is holding it together. i don't know if she realizes how strong she is. she has been through things that would have made anyone else a mean, bitter person. instead, she is the most positive, kind, sweet person i have ever met. sometimes i think that people don't tell their friends, family, lovers how much they think of them. how amazing they are. what they love about them. people need to know. we assume that they do, and even if that is true, everyone loves to be told. so, as corny as it sounds...tell someone how you feel about em, or what you love about em, go on...do it.

love you guys...because you just have great taste in blogreading. and you smell nice, too.

xo
n.

and then again...

2008-07-26T01:20:00.002-04:00

i had a migraine last night and had those odd short sleeps that contain really bizarre nightmares that you can't quite remember. what i do remember is that my (dead) grampa was in it and the rest, didn't make sense. they rarely do. anyway, i got up and showered and went outside to get a bit of sun, dr. oz says i need the vitamin D. anyway, i fell asleep on the porch swing and then worked on a few plants when jakie got home and got overheated, i think. i started sweating and sweating, but was covered in goosebumps and felt cold. my favorite! and usually the beginning stage to the heebie jeebies. i got in the shower with jake, who was in there already, and then i started to feel out of it and he got out, i just did my thing where i stay in there on the floor. i think i was in there about an hour. i turned the water down to lukewarm, and it was still warm when i finally got out. i have a headache still, but i don't feel all weird anymore. just partly. ha. i have had no appetite lately, either. nothing really tempts me and then i forget about it while i am eating. i get distracted. when i was on the atkins diet and lost a ton of weight, i got like that. i just had no interest. i am sure that will pass, it is just an odd thing. needless to say, i spoke to no one but jake today and did nothing except for re-potting some herbs. not a sketch. not a stitch. not anything.

i am sure everyone has heard of randy pausch a cmu professor that just died of pancreatic cancer, who gave a "last lecture" for himself and for his young kids and wife, which turned into a big thing, oprah, et al. when i saw that he had died, i was shocked at how much it upset me. there was a blurb from his speech about how he hated the fact that he was leaving his family and would not be there to comfort them, more than the fact that he was leaving, so he was going about building nets in his final months and days to help catch them when he was gone. i thought of heather, whose husband killed himself, and how his family were left to make sense of it. there was a commercial for a show about the baby elephants, taken from their mothers in the wild that have now grown up and are really angry full-sized elephants that break out of the circus or sideshow they are forced to be in and start kicking people around like soccer balls. it amazes me how abused and broken people and abused and broken animals act the same way. it always comes out somehow. so on the one hand, you have a person that is sick but understands how much they have and that life is a gift, and when they realize they are going to die (a really painful death, no less), they get right to taking care of everything that they want to take care of. and then, you have someone that has a life ahead of them, has most of the same things as the first guy, but he is broken. he doesn't see it that way. why can some people overcome horrible things and live as mostly happy people? and some people...something breaks and they just can't get it back together.

sorry to be so depressing. i guess, i don't mean it to be. i hope that the darkness helps people to see the light. no matter what is going on in our lives, no matter how bad...we are alive. we get to spend time doing the things we love, being with the people and things that we love...and wow. i love my jake more than anything, with the kitties in a close second...i consider every moment with them, my friends, my family to be a gift. and i want to remain grateful for all of it.

love you guys,
n.

heeb-e-jeeb-e

2008-07-23T19:58:00.002-04:00

i had a major heebie jeebie freak out today. it was awesome! it is the best because it fills the time. gah. i forgot to take one of my meds last night, i don't know if that could be it, sometimes i wonder if it has to do with something else. i wonder if something is happening somewhere else and i am feeling the backlash. if that makes any sense and doesn't sound strange. i have dreams about things that happen. i had insane dreams last night that had to do with my niece and nephews, a party at my parents' house and my sister-in-law thinking she was pregnant but it ended up being someone else, but i don't remember who it was. i had a bunch of people who were ill sleeping in my house, which in the dream had a ton of bedrooms that each had two beds in them, like a tweens room. very odd. no clue what that was all about.

i think i had about 6 showers. 2 of em standing up, the last 4 lying down in the tub. i try to calm myself down, but i just can't. heather called and wanted to get together. i had gotten ready after i first showered, took another shower because i felt a bit out of it, got ready again, took another shower and then i started running overtime into when i was supposed to be meeting her. she came over here instead and we talked on the back porch swing, one of my favorite hangouts. i am not a person that "connects" easily with many people, and once i do, i can't disconnect. the time i spent not talking to her, i thought about her all the time. she is such a sweet person. i am hoping that it is time now for her to accept only good stuff into her life. i felt better after hanging out with her. i realized i hadn't remembered to eat today. i just was so out of it all day. i was sad to see her go and tried to get her to stay over or let me sleep there so she wasn't alone there. she needed the time alone.

i have had a headache that i can't shake for a few days. i make the mistake of talking on the phone, i don't feel super bad and make it worse. i knew that this freakout would end up as a headache. i will be sorry to say this out loud, but i would choose a migraine over a freakout any day. it is unbearable. as unbearable as a good migraine is, when i have these bad fits, i am totally ready to jump out of a window. or take another shower. at least i am clean. right?

in non-sick news, here are some paper cutting, and paper arts links, seriously mind-blowing...su blackwell. just...woah. and these cut lights from tord boontje. gorgeous. absolutely inspiring and gorgeous. wow. i am going to give it a go in the next few days. i can do it sitting down AND it is cheap! woot woot!

how about some easy and yummy peanut butter cups?

make sure you tell the people that you love that you love em. and maybe make em peanut butter cups, too. love to you all. and then some.

xo
n.

paper cuts.

2008-07-23T00:28:00.002-04:00

so, i finally spoke to my friend heather the other day. i was having nightmares about her, so i was really relieved to hear that she was reasonably okay. she is the kind of person that always helps everyone, no matter what they need or if they deserve her help, but never asks for help herself. i am trying to be more aggressive about being there and calling than i normally would be. i am not like that at all, but i think in this case, it will be a good thing. i know she likes to feel important. and she deserves that.

yesterday, i attempted to make a version of one of the leaf pen and ink drawings that i did, but all in collage. i tried to research online how to do fine papercut collages, and just didn't come up with anything. i was unhappy with the result i got, and in many hours time was not very far along. if anyone has a good source for really elaborate collage how-to info, that would rock. basically, if you imagine the leaf in the above picture composed of tiny pieces of paper for each different patterned piece, and then i would use ink and/or gouache for all of the linework and possibly more pattern, shoot it to me. gah. anyway. i am keeping on it.

i have been working on knitted pieces for fall, i need to communicate with the boutique i am hoping to work with and try to find some more. i am so broke at the moment (broke as a joke), and i am hoping that fall will be financially better for all of us. again, i am really trying to use this less busy time to get more fine art done and attempt to enter more shows, try for more opportunities, try to get into some galleries. i am no good at it. i get so overwhelmed. i am really disorganized, through and through. i have a poor memory, so i need to not only write things down, but be able to see everything all the time. it is very frustrating. i don't know how to overcome it. i need a manager. i really do. i can put my head down and do the work, no problem. everything else? problem.

i had a fit of exhaustion today. i just felt really out of sorts. it is that time of the month, so i am crampy and have had some degree of headache or migraine at all times. i talked to barbe whilst getting different odds and ends done, i got off of the phone to get some of my work done that requires more thinking and just felt sick as hell. i had to lie down and ended up with the usual conking out, totally fell asleep, and when i woke up after jake got home, i felt horrible, full-on migraine. so i totally should get off of the computer. i do have a few links to share with you before i do...
okay, sonoshii blog. her work...wow. and she has amazing links, too. le swoon. her work literally speaks to me. i feel like i get it. if that makes sense. or even if it doesn't. what else? lovely work from an artist whose work i have had on my flickr contact list for ages.

my head is a-aching, so off i go. i really am trying to be better at blogging, like i used to be.

mwah!
n.

i got a hair-cut! i got a hair-cut!

2008-07-16T21:46:00.002-04:00

so, as you can see, i FINALLY got a haircut. my hair is almost always clipped up and i had actually started to enjoy it being long enough to poof up in a clip, do big buns, vintage rolls and things...anyway, i had been dyeing my hair black and before that, i had been bleaching and dyeing and it was somewhat damaged. i went in to angel who thought i should have it chunky and short to make my face a bit longer...i was really worried. the past two times that i got my hair cut short were disastrous. and i have gone to the same hairdresser since college. i was tired of going there, she didn't ever have suggestions and was just not excited about anything. plus, i would have to sit there while she talked on the phone to her friends, or answered the phone. i just didn't want to do it anymore. anyway, i was sitting in the chair stressing because angel obviously was not into just leaving it the way it was and showed me some really short cuts, which i said no to, but you know, once you go this short, was is a few more inches? anyway, i really really love it. i am interested to see what it looks like if i don't flat-iron it. maybe not so good. he did an awesome job and it is a really nice salon. i didn't get color, i am too poor at the moment, i just did my own at home and it is fine. having to get color done every 4 weeks at the salon is just too much money for me right now. my hair grows so fast, i can't let it go. roots are such a pet peeve. so. home color for me!

what else? some new things i finally photographed and more to come...

i was contacted by one of the lovely boutiques i used to do work for that changed owners, and she is now working with a boutique in shadyside (one of the upscale city neighborhoods in pittsburgh) to do some fall and winter things, and i am excited for that. not only could i use the business, but i really enjoy just making the stuff, rather than having to do the marketing and selling. i have been busy at work on lots of different things, including a submission for a softie book from stampington. i was flattered to be contacted, although maybe a zillion people were. who knows?

i don't think i will end up doing bizarre bazaar in cleveland because it is outside and not under cover...and 3 days long. i don't have a tent, but even if i did, shannon told me that it is pretty sunny. i thought maybe i could get a tent and get a fan or something, but it doesn't seem like a great idea. me and the sun=disaster. puking, migraine, lupus flares. not good. i am trying to figure out if i should do handmade arcade here in pittsburgh. it is two days and after the driving back and forth and the table fee, i am not sure how much money i will really make. people are just not spending money these days. myself including. i haven't even bought supplies.

on the upside, i am taking advantage of the time to get other projects finish and apply to shows and for books. i have a few tricks up my sleeve. i will keep ya posted as i can.

xoxo
n.

Waste Your Life...

2008-07-13T00:14:00.001-04:00

Waste Your Life..., originally uploaded by Kevin T.

i had to post it. i just had to. i imagine that my parents thought this a million times. and this from a mother that is a trained opera singer/cellist/pianist? seriously.

shnoooooore!

2008-07-09T00:03:00.003-04:00

well, i guess my social life took its toll on me. i couldn't get out of bed today. literally. i had a really bad headache last night and had a hard time sleeping, in fact, i took a shower at 5 a (i think). i just felt like poop. anyway, at about 4p, when jake was leaving work, i was dead asleep. i spent the next few hours trying to get up, to no avail. i haven't brushed my teeth yet. put it that way. even when i feel horrible, i force myself to get up and put clothes on, even if it is lounging clothes, but i was just too tired. i didn't even eat. so. needless to say, i got nothing done today. i did do a lot yesterday, i did spinning and did some mohairy corespun types of yarn using locks and loose mohair, but i also did one using some loose alpaca that i had dyed and it came out pretty cool. i took the brushy thing from my carder meant to clean it out and took a fistful of the fiber, including sparkle and dyed sparkley nylon and brushed it roughly, just to break up the clumps (it was really clean and smooth, but organized like when it was cut off, it is suri alpaca) and it really came out cool. i will probably use this technique again. one of the shops i sell to asked for more yarns like that, so i am trying to get them together. i really need to get stuff out to the shops i am selling to, i am so broke and the market is so crummy right now, ya know? you do.

i was wondering if the way i list or tag stuff on etsy hurts me in sales, so i went on and looked around to see how other people are tagging them, but it isn't really much different. it seems that only patterns and supplies are selling for the most part. and the cheap stuff. that too. if your item is under 12 bucks, it might sell. ah well.

and whilst looking for how people are tagging their stuff, i came across twinklehooves, who makes the teeeeeeeniest amigurumi you have ever ever seen. adorable. absolutely adorable. i have always loved teeny things (except for men. i like em big;)) and as a kid, i would have went totally bonkers for her stuff. too cute. i wish that i had known how to knit and crochet when i was a kid. i think it would have helped with my nervous and bitchy demeanor. plus, i could use the hooks and needles for self defense.

our neighbors across the street (they live in the same apartment building as the freak that left the note on our car not to park in "her space" and then knocked on my door in the middle of the night about the same thing, expecting me to move the car, despite the parking spaces all over the place)are always coming home late (when the bar closes, i assume) drunk, loud, fighting with each other (one night, the girl says "i hate it when you are drunk. you don't know what is going on and you blame me for stuff i didn't do!" dude says drunkenly,"like what?!" she replies "you said i got mustard on your shoes but my hotdog didn't even have mustard on it!" this "discussion" is yelled. everything they say is yelled. when they talk on their cellphones...yelled. two nights ago, they came home making noise, etc, as usual, and then i was treated to hearing the dude barfing for several minutes. i hope in their car. they deserve it. you know that once you puke in a car, you might as well send it to the junkyard. that smell just never goes away. as a teen, i had a friend whose dad was the police chief, we were using his dad's car one night and one of our friends threw up "out the window" of the front seat, so it went back in the back window, hitting me in the face and we had to try to get the smell out. we thought we did, cause we were teens, but i imagine his dad knew something was up. we cleaned the car with simple green because it smells so strongly of rootbeer. years later, i saw on the bottle that you aren't supposed to use it on fabric because it will eat through it. oops. anyway, they are some seriously suck neighbors. the only nice neighbor is the drunk old dude that hangs out on the porch. le sigh.

off to check emails and try to sleep.
xo
n.

luxe.etsy.com update!

2008-07-08T01:22:00.003-04:00

i have lots of stuff, and more is coming tonite and to-morrow to luxe.etsy.com pop on by. i will put in a fun extra for lj peeps, let me know that you saw me here, okay?

so just a bit of stuff, i am still doing a few more updates tonite (this morning) before going to sleep. i also have an immense amount of batts and dyed fiber and yarn and softies and fine art, so if you see something on my flickr, please ask, okay? in other news, i plan to do bizarre bazaar in cleveland later this month, so if you are going to be around, please do pop by, or let me know ahead of time that i will see ya...okay? also, i was approached about a softie book that stampington is putting out, so that was really exciting. did anyone else get approached. i am wanting to do some embroidered house pieces, i think that would be really cool. i don't know if it will just be different colors of fabric or if i want them to be printed. i can't afford to get the thermal fax paper and printing supplies until i sell some stuff, so i really need to get my bum in gear. i plan to sell my tattoo exquipment because it is high end stuff and i won't be using it. i don't plan to ditch a 1000 buck sterilizer for cheap, tho. if someone wants my machines and stuff, contact me, i can tell you what i have, otherwise, i guess i will contact a couple of people i know and ask and then list it on ebay and see what i can get. the thermal fax, i am keeping for printing. tattooing just hurts my hands too much. and fast, too. craigslist, too. i paid a fortune for that stuff. a fortune.

i am getting tired, so off i go. list a couple more and then off to sleep.
xo
n.

oh, p.s. the bunnies are gone! they even took the actual nesting materials. crazy babies!

hot hot hot!

2008-07-06T22:48:00.003-04:00

when we came home super late last night, i realized that my plant was gone. i have a ton of plants on the porch, most of em in nice pots, doing well, none touched. my (not mine anymore)hanging petunia that just didn't ever look so good...gone. so strange. i have a feeling that i know who took it. this individual is kind of a dreg of humanity. i have a feeling. really, i could probably cruise around the neighborhood and find it, but if you need my petunia that my husband got me at the farmer's market that badly...i guess you can have it. freak. and i mean freak in a bad way. okay? freak. get a job! buy your own damn plants. who steals a defenseless plant?
moving on...we had a fun weekend. yesterday we went out for jake's band to practice, they will be playing at the relay for life on saturday. anyway, the band members and their wives are so awesome. and, whenever we eat at either of their houses, they actually make a point to feed me stuff i can eat! whaaaat? i am just not used to that. even my sweet mum and mum-in-law, both who are very considerate and concerned tend to forget to check the ingredients. plus, janet gave me the starter for the amish bread cakey stuff. if anyone nearby wants some, let me know. i know you are supposed to pass it on, but i have no one to pass it on to that bakes. that i can think of. so. we had a really fun time and came home laaaate. look at us, like grown-ups or something. when jakie is singing and playing his guitar, he is so frakking hot. seriously. it takes me by surprise every time. i am like a groupie. jeebus, i have been in bands, i have dated guys i bands...didn't do anything for me. he is just so cute. cute! example from the show they played a little while ago...

seriously. his hotness stuns me sometimes. i think "i'm married to this hottie? really?" i dated the biggest jackasses all of my life. okay, mostly. in fairness, there were a few peppered in that i lost interest in because they weren't horrible arseholes, but i really lucked out with jake. i have known him for almost 15 years. i had known him almost 10 years before we started dating. crazy, eh?

today, we cruised out to the arts and heritage festival. it is huge. i went several years ago and it was big, but damn! huuuuuuge!
it was really really hot, really really muggy and humid and incredibly crowded. i didn't take nearly the amount of photos that i had planned on, due to all three of those reasons. i got to see my good friend gabe and my friends that run art tech supply in town, who are organizers for the show. organizers impress me. i am not so good at organizing. i bet you have figured that out. oh! also, they had a guy dressed up like captain jack sparrow, and he really had an awesome costume and makeup. really good. his jacket especially was fantastic, but man, wearing all of those layers, high boots, a long wool jacket, long dreaddy wig, jeebus. i actually turned down gabe to help at his booth because i can't handle that kind of heat. i faint. seriously. it isn't good. so here is to hoping that i am not going to pay for going out two days in a row.

i hope to list some stuff to-morrow. god knows i have a ton to list. if you see something on my flickr you like, ask me. i have wholesale stuff to send out, too. i really need to get my act together. and the house is a wreck mainly due to the cats. if i put a tablecloth on the table, they pull it off onto the floor. there are hairballs and peeps' pees and poo nuggets abounding. bad. bad monkeys.

on that happy note
mwah
n.

bunnnnneeeeees!

2008-07-03T23:38:00.003-04:00

so, forgive my poor typing, kahlo is laying on me and i can barely see the screen. so. jakie came running in the house with a tiny baby bunny in his hands and i freaked him out because i thought the mom would desert it, but i guess that is a wivestale and very rarely will a mum desert their babies. plus, they are so cute, how could she? anyway, there was a baby bunny nest right in the middle of the yard, once you see it, wow, she did a good job hiding it. i looked in there and saw at least a couple more bunnies, i didn't want to scare anyone or touch anything, but the rabbit makes the nest out of bunny fur and grass, etc, and man is it toasty and soft in there! anyway, the next day, the bunny came out again and was running around and eating grass while his siblings slept the day away. i told jake that the bunny must have gotten in big trouble from his mom for wandering around. i managed to snap a few okay photos before i decided to leave him alone, although he didn't seem scared, he didn't hide or anything. cute baby. so cute.

not much else. i have this embroidered drawing almost finished...

happy 4th of july peeps! try not to blow your finger off, k?

weeeeee(aving)!!!

2008-06-28T02:13:00.002-04:00

here are some drawerings, not finished, but available for gawking. hmmmf.

last evening we went out for jakie to practice and the band wives to gab. we had a really nice time. plus, janet made us brownies. we ate them for breakfast. we don't have any food in the house, okay? seriously. we were out late and i ended up getting up, getting dressed and sleeping the whole day. i hate that. ah lupus, you suck.

in other news, i came across some cool linkies. thissy one is to make a felted handle for your crochet hook. how awesome of an idea is that? the other options i have found to make wee hooks easier on your hands is to get the grippy tape that tennis players use on their rackets. what else? well, i am wanting to get a little loom for doing wraps and scarves and whilst looking around for something i could do cheaply to see if i even enjoy it, plus i prefer to do it wherever i want, not behind a giant loom, i found these cool links...cardboard loom made out of scrap cardboard.
or this one, too.
and a peg loom with photos this seems like the best option. if anyone has a peg loom that they wanna swap for, let me know. i know you guys have all manner of crafty madness that you thought you would want but don't. or i could borrow it and see if i even like doing it at all. which i may not. hm.

more to-morrow
n.

pin weaving. much better than pin worms...

2008-06-28T01:27:00.005-04:00

i don't know exactly how i came across simple weaving, but i was experimenting with some of my mixed media collages and woven papers. also, i saw a gorgeous woven wrap that had bits of poofs etc, and thought that this would be a great way to use strips of old and recycled fabric and yarns that i love and have hoarded. ribbons, anything, really. not to mention another link i found about how to make boxes from woven paper. not sure where it went as of now. anyway, here is the pin weaving link...just use a big piece of foamcore or cardboard and see if i like it. i think i will. i can sit and do it, so that rocks. the boxes intrigue me, too, because i am always use more storage and they look amazing. when we were at the cinci airport last week, a cute shop there had purses and boxes and bracelets woven out of junk mail (i think) and i just loved them. not new, but i thought it could be great for storage, ya know? so here is the pin weaving link. i may end up on the lookout for a SMALL loom that was just big enough to make some wraps and scarves, belts, possible backgrounds to screenprint or embroider on. if anyone has a cheap suggestion or has one that they want to get rid of for super cheap or barter, let me know. i will probably try out the cheapo method from that site. it would make a great quilt, no? whether i iron under each strip or just left them frayed. i have so many ideas running through my head. i want to get my screening stuff to make some fabric, and some other stuff i can't mention on here, which you know is hard for me as i am really jazzed. i have to try to wind down and go to sleep. i feel a bit crazed at the moment. jakie has band practice to-morrow evening and i really want to go and hang out with magoo and his wife (and maybe a couple of other people) so i hope i feel up to it. i have to get work done to-morrow, so we will see, i reckon.
a couple more...uses for used coffee grounds including an insect repellent and a cellulite reducer!
also woven candy wrapper purse. the dude making it is not who you would expect. seriously. and how amazing is thiswoven plastic bag pillow?

xo

friday, friday

2008-06-27T22:19:00.002-04:00

1. watercolor and ink on ledger paper, 2. watercolor and ink on ledger paper, 3. watercolor and ink on ledger paper, 4. watercolor and ink on ledger paper
so, here are a couple more watercolor and ink drawerings on ledger paper. my new favorite sketchbook paper. i think maybe because it is meant to be used over a longer period of time than say...notebook paper, it is durable, can be wet, it is nice. i enjoy it. deal with it. okay? deal with it. sniff. i'm okay now. anyway, sat outside yesterday and did the basic drawings and have been highly enjoying this new (to me) pen that an illustrator in iowa gave me, after i ogled it. it is technically a fountain pen, but it has a plasticish nib that isn't split and is flexible, so i won't rip the paper, which i do because i write and draw a bit...hard. the tip is not nearly as sharp as i think it started out, but you can make a variety of line thicknesses and i think i am hooked. if it came in brown i would be ruined. you can get refills and the pen itself is not too expensive. unless you lose em all the time. i am being careful. i am learning to use it very lightly for thin lines. here is the link for the tradio pen. it really is an awesome pen. and as i said, usually i can't use fountain pens and use felt tips. i love "le pen" and also "stabilo" pens, both cheapish ones from the art store. i lose em and ruin the tips in no time flat (hello, push too hard), especially the .3 tips. enough pen talk.

xo
n.

and this, too.

2008-06-27T00:24:00.002-04:00

okay, so i forgot to tell you this yesterday. so, anytime i have taken yarn into a yarn store, i get oohs and aahs. only once did i get sort of turned down, and in that case, the woman was going to italy for a few months and ended up closing the shop right after that. and customers normally try to rifle through whatever i have brought in. in fact, once, a customer followed me out to the parking lot and tried to buy stuff off of me. i felt like a drug dealer. i did give her a card, though. so, on with the story...i went into the lys by my mom's house. i actually meant to go to a different one that had just opened up right after i last visited, but my dad took me to this other one and i popped in. "are you the owner?" i ask. and i explain that i brought some handspun fancy yarns for her to check out. she goes back and whispers something to the owner (who can't see me, is behind a bookcase, which negates my parents idea that the way i looked scared her or something, although, doesn't yarn cross all boundries?) she comes back and tells me that the aren't interested in looking at my yarn. people there don't buy handspun yarn, she says. they do not have a SINGLE skein of handspun or handpainted yarn in their shop. i had planned to pick some stuff up, except that they had nothing in there that every boring yarn shop ever invented has. i said, "you don't even want to take a look?" nope. they didn't even look at it. is that really strange to anyone but me? it was one of the rudest things i have ever experienced. even if you aren't in the market, don't you wanna see? it is easy enough to take a business card and blow me off, no? plus, i always give a sample skein. so frakk you, jerk-offs. maybe if my yarn was a solid color worsted weight, it might have gone over better. oh wait, they have no idea what my yarn looks like. it was seriously like a slap in the face, punch in the stomach and a kick in the ass. i was stunned. needless to say, i didn't buy anything. after i left, i thought to myself that i should have knocked a bunch of stuff over before leaving. peed on the rug. that's what my cats do, and it is very effective. i know it always makes me mad. okay, so that was all, i just meant to tell ya that.
xo
n.

is it thursday?

2008-06-27T00:07:00.002-04:00

i have been super out of it. i had a hard time getting up today, but once i did, i went outside and picked black raspberries, loads and loads. okay, just a big bowl of em. there will probably only be another bowl. i poked my lil' fingies to hell. and i bled purple blood, too. didn't you know that those of use afflicted with the wolf (lupus) have purple blood? well, we do. nah. we don't. i don't, anyway.

i did some sketching, too, even though it was insanely hot outside. i was in bed all day yesterday, and i mean ALL day. i didn't even get out of my sleep clothes. i wanted to at least get a bit of daylight. i think it makes me feel better, even though it is supposed to hurt us lupies. so here is one of the drawings, watercolor pencil and ink that i worked on. i actually did a couple more that i really like, which i will take photos of asap.

i have a really exciting project in the works. i have a horrible time keep ANYTHING quiet, so i am sure you will get a few peeks at it. that was one of em. nuff said. don't be mad shan, i can't heeeeeelp it!

xo
n.

back from iowa...

2008-06-16T01:54:00.004-04:00

well, we got back. there was still flooding, old big trees torn up. sad. anyway, the trip was good, my older brother the surgeon took time off while we were there, so we got to see the kids and jon and his wife jill every day, plus my younger brother and his wife, plus my parents (we stayed with my parents and josh and his wife stayed at a nearby hotel) and my brother's in-laws who we really love. so it was good. i got a lot of headaches, but i took meds and pushed through it. hopefully i won't be paying for it all week. additionally, it is that time of the month (bill time? rotary meeting? haircut?), nah, you know what i mean, so that may get ugly, too.

speaking of my uterus, etc, my stomach is giant, like i have a baby in there. the thing that is odd is that i have always carried my extra weight in my butt and thighs. i have had two friends that had big cysts that caused their bellies to get big. i had a history of cysts, and it really hadn't occurred to me until i saw photos of myself. obviously, part of it is bloating, but it is extreme. i hate getting surgery and i can't take hormones because i have a clotting problem and will probably have a stroke or something. so. maybe i am just fat. i mean, i am, but it just seems odd. it is smooth and round and i am not preggers. just saying, is all.

otherwise, i have a few exciting projects in the works. i will let you know as it comes along. i hate having to keep quiet about anything. i suck at it. in fact, when i give gifts, i can never wait for the proper day. i am a dork. one of my exciting new things has to do with screenprints that are made with a thermal fax machine that makes stencils for tattoos usually. i kept it when i got rid of the shop, just because. it was a good thing because a new one is about a grand. i am so excited to get some of the screens to work with. i will keep you posted once i get it going, but i promise, it is a cool idea. woooooot!

oh, one more thing. no one on our street has assigned parking, except for the couple of people that have handicapped spaces. people park in front of our house all the time. no biggie. these days, there are plenty of spaces and as long as i can see my car from the house, who cares, right? if i wanted to be a jerk, we own our house, so we "own" the spaces. but we don't. we got a note on jake's care that was here while we were away from the neighbor across the street that she doesn't want us parking in front of her house. she had the nerve to knock on my door (stinking of beer, after driving) at almost 11pm, when our lights were all out downstairs, to tell me again that i needed to move the car, despite the fact that there were spaces all over the place. seriously. i was in sleep clothes and i told her that my husband leaves the house at 2:30a, so the car will move then. we were out of town, that is why the car was "in her space". she seriously wanted me to come out and move the car right then. she was trying to be polite, but c'mon. it is summer. it is not a bad neighborhood. their car is the most frightening piece o'shite you have ever seen. in fact, i will take a photo of it to-morrow, when it will probably be parked in front of our house. she can park 10 feet away from her front door, i think she will be fine. freak. it took a lot for me to not tell her to suck it. and these days, i don't get the urge that often. am i crazy? is that idiotic?

here are a couple of links i came across a little while ago...
paint by number kits from YOUR OWN photos? seriously badass.

and this tutorial on how to hem jeans! super easily. unless you are all tall and leggy. like barbe. or jake. don't tell your tailor that i gave you the link. okay?

xo
n.

oy gott!

2008-06-15T20:48:00.003-04:00

i posted some of the things i have made over the past few days (in addition to several more hats to go to rwanda. can you say "stash reduction?") i made some tiny bluebirds and blackbirds to stand in my little moss gardens, some new plugs for my ears, found some paper beads i had made a while ago and used wood hardener on them and took them to the next level with a shiny sealer and some iridescent pigment powders, a circle collage that looked way better before i goauched it, you are seeing the before. it looks like poop now, and then the mixed media piece with the ivy, i added gouache to that and it looks good. i like it. i am enjoying the woven papers. i need to see where that goes. like it, tho.

i started trying to get all of my batts, dyed tops/loose fiber and yarn tagged, photoed, etc, and managed to tag, tie, move around, move around again, make a pile, make another pile, realize that i was putting the wrong stuff in the wrong pile, et, etc. my organizational skills...not so good.

the studio is really getting there though, and i am making an effort to keep things in tagged boxes and putting them back when i am finished. go figure. i need to make myself do it.

i felt all out of sorts so i didn't go with to father's day lunch with the in-laws. i later developed a BAD migraine, i got freaked out it was so bad. i hate going to the ER and that is always what i start to think. anyway, i had a sample of a zomig spray from the doctor and man, do they work well. i didn't think it would work, but about 30 minutes later, i felt a bit funny, but migraine free. see me blogging? woot woot! if you get migraines, ask your doctor about it. really good. dissolving maxalt tabs are good too.

so, yet another foot fetishist from flickr sent me an email about my feet. whilst checking out what photos he had (only 2...both of a woman's foot stomping on a guy. go figure) i found a contact of his that is an artist from england. she makes really interesting clothes and amazing buttons. here is her etsy shop. check it out. seriously.

yesterday pavel did his usual panic stricken freak out and ran across the soles of my feet with his claws out for traction, i was laying on my side with my knees up, and he managed to slice the soles of both feet. here is the worst of the two after the blood had been cleaned up. there is a flappy flap. wanna see?

ooh, ooh and another amazing artist i found on flickr...this talented lady makes SUPER miniature crocheted things. like teeeeeeeny. muffa...you rawk. i really am loving the idea of doing super teeny amigurumi. i like small. teeny? oooh, yeah. love it. go check out her stuff. now. wait, after you read the post, then go. kay?

ooh, ooh oooh, i was wracking my brain trying to think of a good way to store the yarn stash other than the big tupperware containers that get everything all tangled, especially partly used balls. i use the clear hanging shoe organizers for many of my novelty yarns that i use in handspun, but i have so so many more, and i can't hang them all on the wall. so in that vein, i was thinking that a big "book" that is either double sided, in that it has yarns on both side, or just single-sided might be a great fix. okay, so, you would take a fabric of your choice for the base or backing, depending on what the pattern ends up being. it would have mesh sewn onto the other side and it would be sewn to have a grid with an opening at the top of each square to pop a ball of yarn into. also, there could be horizontal openings that are stitched on all sides with an opening at the top to pop in 3-5 balls on each row. it would be easy to make, or to make and sell for non sewers, although you could stitch it by hand easily. you could see what was inside and you could stack them neatly, even if you have a ton of yarn like i do. if you wanted to get hardcore, you could even make a stiffer backing and put holes to make a giant binder-like thing, or several of em to keep the bulk down. does such a thing exist, or is it a dumber idea than i think it is? i think i will make one and see how it goes.

okay, i reckon that is it. i will take my band-aided little feets and go to bed. i really should before i push the headache back into my head.

xo
n.

tag and bag

2008-06-13T21:34:00.003-04:00

so, i had a bad night of sleep and then had a hard time getting up, but i got a few yarns spun up and a few skeined and some stuff organized in the studio (it is almost clean-ish in there!) and then started tagging yarn and batts for wholesale orders which is way easier said than done. i am organizationally retarded. seriously. literally. my parents only told me as an adult that while i tested as gifted, my organizational understanding was...not where it should have been. like, disorder bad. i guess back then if you didn't point out a problem, it doesn't exist. so anyway, when i got to do paperwork/tagging/invoices, it takes me FOREVER. add in that i have to tag all of the photos after taking them and editing them and then name everything, write all the stats and then figure out how to actually inventory them. in one case, i have to write up everything online and keep track of what is what. this might take a while. i started "Sorting" things into separate piles and ended up with a giant pile and a bit of a bad attitude. sadly, i had to stop for the evening because my dear friend butter and his lovely lady were coming. sucks, eh? nope. so, i found some other paper beads i had made out of vintage paper and had used wood hardener on them (toxic, but kinda of neat to use) that had just been sitting, so i put the metallic pigments on them and sealed them and then made a few things i needed out of fimo including tiny birds to go in my moss garden. if you want one, let me know. i could probably send it in an envelope for 9 bucks or whatever a first class letter costs these days. sigh.

i ordered this adorable 40's dress from ebay and the measurements were really really really wrong, so i gave it to jason's lady. sniff. the postage was more than the dress (it came in a flat rate document envelope (the 4.80 ones) and i got charged 10 bucks for shipping. i actually paid it and then asked them why the shipping was 10 bucks. it bugs me. i don't charge extra and i even actually have to pack stuff, rather than just sticking it in a flat rate envelope (not that i have an issue with it, just don't charge me extra for no reason. sheesh!) anyway, i was annoyed that the measurements weren't correct. i know this because i have bought 5 dresses and all had the same measurement and fit me just fine. this one is suitable for one boob, maybe. end crybaby nonsense.

i had a down day yesterday (i think it was yesterday) but i was just exhausted, not sick or achy, and i can handle that once in a while. no big deal. i felt like i was drugged, like when you get iv drugs after surgery or something and you can't fight it? i felt okay by later in the evening, and i feel okay today, if a bit moody. not like a bad mood, just not my hearts and flowers usual self (ha!)

we are probably going over for jake to have a band practice and i will hang out with my fellow bandwives/groupies. i am hoping to get some of the luxe paperwork done before we go. and then father's day is sunday, so we will go out with my in-laws. i will take my dad a present when we wee them in iowa, if it hasn't floated away, next week. yipes. it really is scary, no? my younger bro and his wife will be visiting at the same time and it should be fun, as long as we don't get in a fistfight. he is bigger than me, but neither of us are terribly tough, we are both all mouth, so it is anyone's guess who would win that fight. let's just not, yeah? plus, i bruise easily.

xo
n.

woot woot!

2008-06-10T21:57:00.002-04:00

i had a decent day today. i didn't do any work because i had a lot of running around to do today. i got out to the farmer's market and loaded up, i think i may have overdone it a bit. i got a pot of lemon tyme which is heavenly from the herb dude who knew my name. he is super tall, like a basketball player, so i thought i should remember him (unless he is a psychic, anyway) and it sort of freaked me out. having a tattoo shop in town for about 10 years, most people that were 18 or older while we were open knows who i am, but it still catches me off guard. i am HORRIBLE with names. so anyway, i made it to the antique store and picked up a few small things, i wanted to go to st.vincent de paul, but i was running too late. old ladies run the place, so it closes at 3, but if you are there at 2:30 they get mad at you. i found a new hairdresser, which i am super excited about. i don't know what made me stop, i had meant to many times. i figured i would know when i saw someone if they would work well or not. this guy is from LA and his studio is adorable. i am so in need of cut and color. big time. yay! let me just say that the two times that i went to a hairdresser other than the one i have been going to since college, i ended up with really really really bad things going on. i am really not exaggerating. at one point, i went from long hair to really short hair because the semi short horrible haircut and color i got were unfixable. oh wait, that happened both times. i mainly wanted to find a hairdresser that is really into doing hair and is up on the new stuff, or the old stuff. i do love the vintage hairdo's.

i made jake a gigantic salad and somehow it never even crossed my mind to take a photo. mrs.photo herself forgot. gah.

i got a lot done today. usually i run out when i absolutely have to and i end up starting to feel sketchy and rushing home, cutting out the stuff i wanted to do but didn't need to do. it gets frustrating. i get my lines crossed over what i want to do and what i don't care about. things that you really want to do turn into things you definitely don't want to do, even though you really do want to do them. if that makes sense. it gets mixed up. i am really hoping that the good spell will last a while. fingers crossed.

mwah
n.

my jakie, the rockstar...

2008-06-10T01:38:00.003-04:00

so. busy weekend. i made some new friends (people jake has known for a while) and just pretty much instantly loved them. jakie has been jamming with some guys and they had their first show on saturday. i dragged my butt out there and was so comfortable talking to the wives and husbands aforementioned, that i didn't even require my knitting! and i had just met them! anyway, jakie did great and was very sexy up there. it alway catches me by surprise anew, like i am 15 again. i just think, "damn, i have an incredible husband!" i think it all the time, too. he just blows me away. anyway, we had a really nice time and will probably be hanging out this weekend. we are supposed to get together with lauren and butter sometime soon, too, cause i miss em! we were out all day in the heat on saturday and didn't get home until late and i still felt okay sunday for us to go and get groceries/target and then pot a few of my plants. today, i woke up and talked to katrina while eating breakfast and then cleaning up my studio and then carded a bunch of batts. i prepped fruit and veg and got dinner done, boiled eggs for jake and then went back outside and took a bunch of photos of the garden, etc, and i am still not really wiped. what if i started to have good weeks at a time? what if i could get back to doing volunteer work, doing shows if i want to, travelling more, teaching the classes i have been asked to teach without being worried that i might be too ill? i don't wanna jump the gun, but i can't remember the last time that i had several busy days in a row. i did a lot on friday, too.

one of said things was that i successfully took apart my electric drumcarder because it was running super super slowly. i was trying to card up some stuff for shannon and i was thinking i wouldn't be able to do it at all and then decided to just take it aprt and adjust it and it made a world of difference. the carder went down fighting, as always. i got a few bad bites plus some torn up knuckles. twas worth it! jake thinks i am a badass! i have callouses and scabs and bruises. here is one such:

i set to the task of organizing the studio and got quite a lot done. i still have yarn to sort and fabric, but i think i got a good chunk squared away. i will take photos. tomorrow is the farmer's market, i am excited to go and to pop into the thrift store beforehand and hopefully see my good friend gables to boot. we will see. hopefully i get yet another day of energy. it makes me realize how dangerous i woul dbe if i had energy all the time. watch out!

oh, here is a bug i am still working on. he is not named yet, either. i have tons of batts cooked up, really fun, and some nice organic cotton yarns, too. i want to work on some paintings next. here he is...

i love you guys. you really are amazing people. i hope you know it.
xoxoxoxoxoxo
n.

and....OUCH.

2008-06-04T22:48:00.002-04:00

i woke up down, as usual. i decided that lupus and chronic fatigue (etc, etc) could kiss my arse today and took a pep pill. i didn't think it would help. it did. i manically started getting orders packed up, long long long overdue gifts (um...xmas? for shame.) and getting those big boxes that were packed up out of the studio. i didn't realize until i attempted to stand back up after crawling around and being all bent over that i did something to my back. bigtime. still full of energy, i dragged yet another big box out onto the back deck and started picking the washed romney that shannon (www.knitgrrl.com) sent me to card up for her. the electric carder is fussy, so i figured i should pick open all of the locks and take out the bit of vm in there. i am still not sure if such a long lock will get jammed up in there or not. anyway, it rained the whole time i was out there (i was chatting on the phone the whole time) but i was under the canopy of the swing. it started to pour, so i moved the setup to the front porch which is covered. i. love. the. rain. man. especially in the summer. i could sleep out there. anyway, i got a fraction of the giant garbage bag full of it done, and none carded yet. that is some SOFT romney. so pretty. anyway, so once jake got home, i was stunned that it was after dinnertime. when i take a pill, i can actually function. i am like myself. like i used to be, losing track of time when i am working on something. not needing to stop what i am doing to lie down.

so, i have been lying down on the massager thingy and i have a sticky head pad stuck on my tank top and took a mess of pills in hopes of getting this thing taken care of. otherwise, i will have to get a massage or something. i think i pinched a nerve or something. it makes my whole lower left side go into spasm. boy, am i fit, or what? so bad. my granny is probably in better shape than me.

wanna know what i do in the semi-darkness?

off to sniff to myself. sniff!
xo
n.

MIA. again.

2008-06-03T19:26:00.003-04:00

so, before i forget (and we all know how much i forget), i got this wonderful explanation of chronic fatigue and fibromyalgia from lindsay's blog. for whatever reason, whenever i find these kinds of things, it makes me cry. i don't know why. i guess, it makes me realize that it is real, it isn't just me being a baby.

in other news, i have been up and down just non-stop. if i do a few hours of solid work, i am knocked out. i am so damn sick of this crap. i did get some really gorgeous batts listed. i made several of each so that i can relist em and not have to remember what i did, but also because i personally use two of em to make a skein of yarn that can actually make something. if you spin thin, unlike me, one would probably do ya. i have a load more to list, too.

also, while down for the count, i have been cranking out hats. i also have a few softies to show you, one that i hope to finish tonite. my bed is like a little factory. a smelly factory. here are some messy photos of repotting. i paid the price every day after. le sigh. it was fun while it lasted.

tis all for now
xo
n.

i'm baaaaack!

2008-05-27T21:37:00.003-04:00

well, we are back from vacation. i am trying to get back in the swing of things. yesterday i re-potted a bunch of plants after after getting groceries and looking at plants. i overdid it, especially after being out in the sun looking at plants at the nursery and then going to loews the day before, the day we came home i think. wait. no, sunday and then monday, too. we came home on saturday afternoon after driving all night. jakie couldn't sleep so we left south carolina at 2 a.m. and rove straight through. jake drove the whole way. we basically only stopped for gas and snacks. i felt all wired when we got home and we walked around the neighborhood looking at landscaping. we are planning to redo the front yard. we have bushes that we don't like and jake was going to just rip em out and chuck em, but after being at the nursery, i saw that they are worth a fair amount of money, the are decent sized, so we will try to sell em via craigslist and the pennysaver, just to get some cash to do the new landscaping.

oh, also, i have two wee moss gardens. i saw a few different peeps that made em (i need to find the links for ya) and got a couple different kinds of moss from the garden and planted it in old jars. so cute. i love em. that is the photo at the tippy top.

vacation was nice. i had a few down days, one where i slept the entire day, another when i slept most of it. my mom-in-law asked me what i thought was wrong, and i told her that it just is what it is. i think it can be hard for people to really understand what is wrong with me, and that often they think it is something that the doctor could just sort out, rather than just being the symptoms normal to my maladies. i guess in fairness, it is confusing to me sometimes, too. i will have a day where i can't get out of bed and try to figure out what is wrong, like i don't know that i have several chronic issues. le sigh.

we went to savannah the last day to drop off yarn to wildfibre. i also managed to get another hat done on the way home. i made about a half dozen the week we were away. the yarn yenta's daughter is going to the REAL hotel rwanda to do some relief work and they are accepting hats for lil heads. how amazing is that? there is still a bit of time yet, if you need the info, let me know and i will send it along.

not much else. a couple of new birds, one more that needs legs still. here are the two that are done, i hope to get them listed to-morrow and some other fiber things, too.

i am headachey and sleepy, but i will post some new photos to-morrow.
xo
n.

HAAALP!!! web help anyone?

2008-05-15T01:46:00.004-04:00

hey all, so it was brought to my attention that luxefibre.com was MIA. gone. i figured out after a little while that the host had cancelled it. i assume the credit card it was on expired or got paid off, one or the other. they claim that they contacted us, but we got no emails and no calls. that said, they say that i can't reactivate it, it is gone. the guy that did the site for me has the files, i just need someone to put them up for me or talk me through it. i have no clue what to do. my brudder knows how to do it but is on deadline and has no voice. haaaallllp! i swear, after this, i will learn to at least kind of take care of things myself. i swear it. we are going on vacation friday, so this couldn't have happened at a worse time. shoot me a message or email if you know someone that can help and would like to be paid in yarn. or money. or softies. or cat fur. whatever they fancy.

sniff.

2008-05-12T01:40:00.002-04:00

sunday:
hello. i am night 3 of no sleep. okay, not NO sleep, just not a lot. i went to sleep
this morning with the birds chirping and woke up to the neighbor weedwacking at the asscrack of morning. anyway, we were supposed to go to appleby's for mothersday with the inlaws, it was a gross meal and i didn't really eat. i have had leg cramps over the past few evenings and nights, i plan to get some supplements to see if that helps. i just feel out of it, i guess.

i have some new things to show you guys, but i plan to be in the midst of packing up orders, gifts, etc, tomorrow because we leave on friday for vacation for a week. it might just be a really good thing to get all of the extra fiber laying around the studio out of there. let someone else sell it! so i want to get that organized and clean. and the bedroom. that is bad. really bad. i am ashamed at what a pig i am.

i got to talk to one of my favorite people of all times, gabe today for a good long while, which is nice. he used to work with me at the tattoo shop and we just get along super well. swimmingly. i miss him. he keeps you positive. he is doing so much great stuff and i am so proud of him. we also popped in to the cd place that our friend works at and i got to chat with her for a while, and that was nice, too. i am always very awkward at stop and chats.

monday:
i was up super late again, once i fell asleep after a 3 a.m. bath for the leg cramps (which are thankfully gone today) and kept waking up because izzy had brought a pile of her rubberbands and ponytail holders for me to throw for her to fetch. once she saw that i wasn't waking up to play, she would go look for another, and then, started tapping the other (sleeping) cats on the head in an effort to get ANYONE to pay attention to her. sigh. i spent most of my time sleeping today, just totally zonked out. i talked to my friend katrina for a little while and then got off the phone because i was tired and then fell back asleep. we are leaving for vacation on friday for a week so i really would like to get all of the shop business in order before then, ya know? additionally, luxefibre.com is down, i have no idea what the problem is, and i emailed my web guy to get the info i need to get someone to take care of it for me. all of my links go to and from there, so it really needs to be fixed. in my headache, flu haze, i stress about it. so. anyway, off i go. headache. sore throat. tired. house to watch. i even slept thru general hospital this afternoon. can you believe it?

mwah
n.

sleeping thru life. as usual.

2008-05-03T23:01:00.002-04:00

friday i was supposed to hang out with jenn, i didn't sleep the night before, had a bad headache again and then slept on and off all day long. i called her right before she was supposed to leave and told her that i felt like poop. i felt like crap about it because i was really excited to hang out with her and have some fiber fun (you fiber geeks know what i mean...flashing the stash, letting people turn the cranks, spin your wheels, etc, etc) and then i felt guilty, like maybe i should have tried to push through feeling poopy. yeah, well, that didn't last because i fell asleep and didn't wake up until that evening. i was sick again last night, wanted to take a shower in the wee hours but i was so nauseous and dizzy that i was afraid that i would fall down (go boom) and jakie sleeps through almost anything, so it would be a bad thing. after a bit of sitting with my head in the john, i decided i should try to just lie down in bed. i woke up late today, poor jakie was attempting to fix the volkswagon and spent the whole day on it, and it ended up not being what he thought it would be, so i felt bad about that. he apologized to me for not being around, but i was sleeping all day. i literally didn't do ANYTHING. didn't talk on the phone, go online, do stuff, nothing. i didn't even eat, except for when i first woke up. crazy. and this is how it is almost everyday lately. i feel useless. and i have a bad headache as we speak. it is hard to deal with being in bed all day when i feel just as shitty if i do or don't. i guess i could make myself sick enough to not be able to even get up and shower, but man, it frustrates me. i guess it is good that i didn't plan on going to maryland sheep and wool this weekend, as much as i wanted to, i didn't have the cash to blow and i wouldn't have been up to it. plus, i would end up not getting to all of the different get-togethers and hangouts with all of my peeps, so what is the point? sigh. i am trying to be positive, but man, it gets hard when you feel like the kid who breaks both of their legs right before summer vacation.

not much else because...i have been sleeping.
n.

leg cramp. leg cramp. aaaaa leg craaaamp!

2008-04-29T22:19:00.002-04:00

once i finally conked out, i was in and out of it and i got up and showered, but i got nothing done. i fell back asleep, and slept all day. i have been having bad leg cramps, too. i haven't been eating well, and have been craving sweets...bad. i am normally not like that. still, i can't wait until the summer fruits are ready to eat, although it is supposed to reach freezing tonight. crazy, eh? 80 degrees last week, 30 tonight. anyway, i had orders to pack,etc, including my entry to a softies show, so that has to happen to-morrow. has to.

at around 4ish a.m., i had all of these ideas running thru my head for stuff i need to get done, including a care package for lovely marian and her lovely support team. there is a video clip linked to her blog of marian and her mama on the news in philly, and she is so frickin cute. like a 25 year old in a little body. if you don't know this little supa star's story, she has some health problems and her amazing older sissy donated bone marrow so marian could get a transplant. they did that last week and marian is recovering in the hospital. her passion is art and crafts (her mom is an artist, too), so they have a shop on etsy with the crafts she makes and kits, and the money goes to other sick kids getting crafts to work on while they are in the hospital. marian inspires me to do as much as i can, whenever i feel good enough. being sick is what it is, it isn't something i can change, and i need to follow her lead and just be as big as i can be. anyway, i knitted her a hat, i made her a pin that goes on it, and i have another hat with a poppy pin on it for her. i am going to send a kids crochet book and some crochet supplies, too. she doesn't know how (YET!) and i don't think mom does, either, but i must say, knitting and crochet have done so much for me when i am not feeling good enough to do anything else, or when i am nervous, or waiting or bored. it gives you something to show for a day spent in bed. plus, marian loves to make dolls and toys, so i have a feeling that she will loooooove making one long piece of yarn into an adorable doll. i don't want to spill all the beans and what i am sending, just in case they read this, but i think it will be pretty good. i would like it, so that is good, right?

so, after showering in the wee hours, i was going to do some dyeing, mainly for making batts, i needed a few saturated colors, so i filled up the dyepots with fiber and managed to keep myself from actually doing the dyeing, since at that time of night, or morning, i tend to do strange stuff, like leave the hot water on full blast and don't remember. i did manage to do a kamikaze dyeing session whilst waiting for our dinner to cook. 3 dyepots including my big vintage electric roaster, so a few pounds probably. i will post photos. hopefully, it will be warm enough to hang up the fiber to-morrow.

also, my buddy jenn is coming up on friday to measure the couch and chairs for slipcovers and to hang out and maybe do some fiber stuff. i told her that she will have to make herself a few batts on the new carder (or the louet, if she fancies) and i think she will have fun. i am so excited to do a fiber hang out! jake is probably going to be practicing with his "band" for a couple of shows they will be doing later on. one is public, i think, so i will keep you posted, for sure.

oh, and i just found the work of sandra sheehy. i wish i could find more stuff. with the blogworld and flickr, etc, i am always stunned when i google and artist and find next to nothing. i would love to see these things in person. i saw a passerby on a tv show with an amazing jacket on and immediately though, oooh i wish i could figure out how that is made, but only got a glance of it. it is such an odd thing that almost everything is accessible now. mindblowing.

anyway, legcramps, so i think i will take shower number 4 for the day. no, technically 5, because i took one in the wee hours.

xo
n.

2:31 a.m.

2008-04-29T02:31:00.003-04:00

well, as you may have guessed, i had another bad week, although i did get a couple of okay days to enjoy the weather. i had migraine after migraine and realized way too late that these delicious garlic pretzels had msg in them, which is a huge no-no for me. i am actually lucky that i wasn't sicker than i was, although i have had non-stop headaches. i couldn't stop eating them and then asked jake if he knew, he had put them in a zipper bag, so i couldn't see the ingredients. we always look at everything because msg and blue cheez can put me in the ER, but you don't think pretzels have it, ya know? anyway, i didn't sleep last night and felt sick and actually was lying here feeling like crap and decided to do a quicky blog post. i have a bunch of batts to show you, in addition to the other ones that STILL aren't listed. i just have barely been online because my vision is funny and i feel so nauseated and crummy. i am a bit addicted to the electric carder. i get so pooped out so easily, it is so fun to just feed in the fiber. it does get hung up pretty easily, so i do have to manually kickstart the drum, and my hands are wrecked. jake was impressed. they look manly. mini-manly. here are some of em. if anyone wants something, let me know, i am hoping to get them listed on wednesday, or maybe to-morrow if i get all of my invoicing done and packages packed.

i also have dyed top that isn't even photographed, plus more dyeing i need to do with some solidish colors for batts. we all know that it kills me to pay for dyed top that isn't super nice...which means i would have to pay a lot to get decent stuff, even though i haven't really seen such a thing. i hate colonial top. i like the superwash from brown sheep, but that only comes in a few colors.

here are a couple of creatures still in the works. i need to futz around with some arms and legs,etc and see where they want to go. i generally see what the piece wants to do, kinda like yarns. i may have a basic idea, but that will fly out the window if the piece doesn't seem to want to be that way. ya know?

maryland sheep and wool...i don't think we are going. i am broke, mainly because i have been too out of it/lazy to get stuff listed, and i have so so much of it. mixed media pieces, paintings, softies, crocheted jewelry, knits, yarn, fiber, batts, vintage stuff, plus stuff that i need to send out to a couple of stores. i frustrate myself. anyway, between being poor and the weather being horrible, i think it might be better not to go. i had talked to a friend about working sheep and wool but kind of blew it off, and now when i see people i know working it, or at least working with a yarn shop that is working it, i get mad at myself. it wasn't expensive to work, it would have just been the time and energy. in the end, i get so scared to commit to things in advance because of the stupid health issues i have, that i end up not doing things that i want to do. in fact, i convince myself that i don't want to do it anyway. i have been asked to work with some awesome people in their booths at whatever craft show, and if it is in the summer and is outdoors, i know that i can't be in the sun for any length of time, even under a tent, i will get overheated and then if it is a multiple day show, i know that i just can't do it. and i don't want to let someone down. so i don't do it, and i get pissed off at myself. sniff.

my head is pounding, so i think i will go and take a shower.
xo
n.

dye another day...

2008-04-22T22:20:00.002-04:00

despite a headache again today, i did some more dyeing. i did a more limited palette than i had planned, so i did some other colors today and i hope to do a bit more to-morrow and get some batts done.

i actually used up a huge (kitchen can sized bag) of uncarded coated merino, just gorgeous soft, heavenly stuff. wowza. i actually want to get some more i love it so well for both carding and spinning. i used up more than a pound of locks, a few different kinds, some loose mohair, some sparkly nylon and some superwash top. some for spinning as is, some for carding. i talked to my buddy katrina today about dyeing, whilst dyeing (one track mind, eh?) and was saying how amazing it is how different fibers in the same dye pot grab the color so differently. i will post more photos to-morrow.

sorry for the boring posts lately. boring is as boring does, i guess:)
xo
n.

dye! dye! dye!

2008-04-21T23:51:00.002-04:00

so, i live in headache city. i felt crummy last night, but i got up this morning and before i even had coffee or breakfast, i took a quick shower, got ready and did some dyeing. a good bit of dyeing, actually. wanna see?

i have been hanging on to this gorgeous uncarded merino from frenecreek. i love that they are a rescue farm (sometimes she buys sheep right off of the meat truck!) and that those animals have a really nice life. well, other than being in wisconsin in the winter. that sucks even if you do have a huge thick coat. although they do have a shelter for em in the cold. anyway, they wore coats, so this fiber is perfectly white and clean, but still spongy and soft and gorgeous. i plan to dye some more to-morrow if i feel okay because i didn't get the range of colors that i had hoped for. i need to make notes for myself so that i actually remember. i didn't think i had dyed as much as i had, so i have a ton of yellow and green. i saw some gorgeous robin's egg blue and yellow art, so that inspired me. i would love to attempt to get a buttery yellow, tho. i will see. i need to do some soft pinks and turqoise, etc. happy springy colors. yay! there are loads more photos on my flickr, so pop by if you fancy. i plan to use most of this fiber for batts, but i will probably make a few bits and pieces bags which sell out as soon as i list em. why don't i do more of em? dunno. i will. plus i want to do some bags according to color. i would have killed to have that when i first started, before i started hoarding. i seriously and working through the loose fiber i have, so i feel good about that. i probably only have a few more pounds of loose fiber. i also overdyed some light brown and cream fiber that looks really pretty. that will get carded up, too.

i am very excited that my friend jenn is going to come up and see me and help me out with some slipcovers (yayayayayay!) finally! i have a feeling that if i can't pay her, i will let her mess with some fiber and the carder, if she likes. i got it running pretty well. much faster than i thought initially. i want to get a brush attachment for it, i think that will really help bulk up the batts. i need to get a hold of the pat green peeps and see what is what. i need to remember to do that during business hours to-morrow rather than at midnight, like now. sigh. i hate that. also, i hear that they have had so many different models in the past that they have to kind of see what you have to tell you what part you need, or to give you instructions. there is no model number, no date, no nothing. it is fun to have your hands free to feed in the fiber, rather than just the one hand and also, when i do lots of batts on my louet, i wear myself out. i will definitely still use it, but i can chill out and do batts on the PG.

okay, off to chill out, although i really feel like doing some batts. if i do, i will get wound up and not sleep. i mean more than usual. i need to weigh and take photos of the batts so i can list em. i really hope to get that done to-morrow. but i wanna dye. and i won't have the energy to do both, g-d knows.

xo
n.

le sigh.

2008-04-19T13:00:00.003-04:00

yesterday i had high hopes of getting lots done. i had to run out and do some errands so i ended up going with jake when he got home. by that time, i had taken photos of the new batts i made and crocheted wire and beaded jewelry from a while ago that i still haven't listed. by that time, i had a fairly bad migraine, too. when jake got back from doing his stuff, i was out of it, not feeling so good, had cramps plus the migraine. i don't remember falling asleep, but i did and then woke up right before he went to sleep. i didn't sleep very well and woke up early again, although i didn't shower until about 10:30a and i made myself eat. i haven't been so into eating lately.

today i had high hopes of getting lots done, but i feel like poo. jakie is practicing for a couple of shows he and a friend will be doing (i will keep those of you who are local posted on when they are) so i planned to tinker with the new carder and adjust it and maybe go to the nursery to get some plants and to the craft store, but i feel like poo. my head hurts, but more importantly, i feel really out of it and discombobulated, so i always worry about driving. it annoys me most once the weather is nice. it makes me feel like an 8 year old with a broken leg or chicken pox during summer vacation, you know? there are some things that you can't push through. i decided to blog just to vent at least, even if it makes my head hurt. at least i will have done SOMETHING. although, i did actually put makeup on and do my hair. so i did do something.

here are some of the batts i made this week on the pat green carder. my louet makes a much thicker batt, and lumpy if i want, too, these are twice as wide and much finer. purdy.

xo
n.

6 a.m.? seriously? seriously.

2008-04-15T21:04:00.001-04:00

first off, i know that loads and loads of regular peeps wake up early. i just don't happen to be one of them. i have always been a poor sleeper, even as a kid. except in the car. then i sleep like a bomb. i couldn't really sleep last night. i had a bad headache, was out of the good medicine, took the only one i had, a nasal spray, and as always, it bunged up my nose which already had a load of fiber in it from my new electric carder (!!!!!) so i just didn't sleep at all. it is almost 7 a.m. now, the sun is amazing, the birdies are chirping, the cats are all snoozing, although soon izzy will be chatting with the birdies. she enjoys that.

yesterday, i woke up feeling okay. i felt so okay that i was a bit giddy and didn't have my coffee or breakfast, took a shower and just got to work and worked all day. i sat outside with peeps in the back yard, she loves eating grass and rolling around, so i worried a bit that i would make my lupus react, but g-d do i love it. peeps does too. i made a bunch of batts, i plan to do some more and because the teeth on the carder are so shallow (although barbe suggested moving them apart more) the batts are twice as wide as my louet, but very very thin and fine, so i might do two batts that actually make up each batt, if that makes sense. the carder is not as powerful or noisy as i had planned, but i have never used any other electric carder so i have no clue. i also have no clue to adjust it, so i will have to attempt to find info on it. it is from the 70's i think. the damn thing bit me several times, too. bugger! because of running my hand over the card to keep the fiber smooth among other things, my hands feel burned, they look baaad. i need to try to find a smoothing brush. even a stiff hand held broom might work. anyone with suggestions, drop it on me.

i got orders packed and i need to photograph the new batts, weigh them and the fiber i have so that i can list it, plus send off packages to a couple of people who have patiently been waiting forever. sorry guys.

i will leave you with this amazing video clip and hopefully show you the purdy new batts a bit later.

crazy on a theremin. insane. seriously insane.
xo
n.

flying on sunshine.

2008-04-14T00:01:00.002-04:00

we had an okay weekend. jake left work way early in order to change his brakes, which he had done before (well, the rear ones and these were the front, which proved to be a different animal) anyway, he expected to be back in a couple of hours. i was up early having not slept, and had been doing spinning all day, so the time kind of went by. anyway, it ended up that he got home at 9p and still didn't get the breaks fixed. i felt bad. he was so tired and annoyed and felt guilty for not spending time with me. i miss him when he is gone, but i got a lot of work done, so it really was fine. on a day that i feel okay, i am happy to do work. no biggie. i feel like i am the shite partner in this relationship, not he. he just has a lot to do. i understand. what else can you do? act like a jerk? i am not that sort. i know couples where the other is not allowed to do anything or go anywhere, whether it be to have a hobby or friends (which always disappear when you blow them off for many years) or to work on the car, i know people who are not so nice to their significant other. i have never really understood that. if jake only had 1 day off and he wanted to go play some blues with his friends, as long as he would have fun, i would want him to go. and he, me. we end up together most of the time, but i would like him to feel free to do whatever he wants to do. especially things he enjoys. he works so hard. he deserves to have some fun sometimes. anyway, as you can tell, i have been really paranoid that i am a bad, lame, boring wife/partner and just don't do enough for him. for us. to keep things spicy and fun. i feel lazy. and selfish. when i feel well, i work on art or yarn stuff.

my studio is an explosion of all things art and fiber and desperately needs to be organized, but i don't want to spend that little bit of time i have on cleaning up. i know that when the studio is clean, i like being in there more, but still, i can't just pick up a bit at a time, i am easily overwhelmed and i can't break things down. i see every detail. so. i need to. i have a sort of organising method in mind, i think it would work well. i also need to get rid of old clothes and i have some sewing to do. i need summer clothes, have lots of fabric and big tshirts to make into other things. so.

also, if anyone knows a local hairdresser that rocks, that knows how to do everything, that takes new classes all the time, that suggests new things and has a good sense of what looks good on who, let me know.

so, on friday, i got a lot of stuff done. lots of yarn. on saturday, i skeined up some yarn, some custom, and then went out and took photos of it, check out the flickr if you like. i have a couple more to do and i have a ton of fiber and yarn to list, plus my big electric carder from angela of material whirled will be coming tomorrow i hope, so that will rock. i hope to put it on a rolling cart that i use on the back deck to avoid making the house even more fiber covered. i am excited.

i have to get orders packed and one resent, etc, etc, etc. and potentially a very exciting thing to announce soon. i will keep you posted. as far as good news, i got accepted into a softie show called crammed organisms, there are several other people that got in that are excellent. i didn't get into another one that i applied for and it bummed me out a bit. i don't apply for shows ever, really, and that is something that i need to turn around. i have to do it. especially for my fine art pieces. i have to make myself do it. i also got invited to do what sounds like an amazing show in ireland, which i will keep you posted on. i am really excited about it. i just need to be organised to maximize the amount i get done, regardless of my energy. so.

i will be listing the mixed media collage/gouache pieces in my etsy shop soon. there is one in there now. i also will be listing some of the circle pieces, although a couple of them i have grown a deep attachment to, and will likely keep.

i also have some fantastic fiber charities that i want to tell you about, but i am not feeling so hot at the moment, so i will do that on the next post.

i have been paying for all the work and running around i did this weekend, which is okay. as long as i have something to pay for, rather than the sick sick sick with not cause.

here is some work i have had for a while. the amigurumi tree is new. i am planning to hone it a bit more and write up the easy pattern.

and the new yarns, one is organic brown cotton, gorgeously soft, veggie and fair trade, too! and the white one, is dye your own, it is uncarded bamboo and organic green cotton. so lovely.

oh, lastly, dunno if i mentioned it, but i would love to have some slipcovers made for my couch and two chairs. i don't know anyone to ask. i would totally be happy to swap fiber or yarn for the sewing, or pay munny. anyone local interested, or know someone they can recommend?

xo
n.

view up

2008-04-14T00:00:00.001-04:00

i'm alive!!

2008-04-08T22:38:00.002-04:00

so, firstly, thanks for the kind emails and phone calls. i have been really out of it. yesterday, i did some dyeing and apparently overdid it, i get so excited when i feel good enough to actually do stuff that i overdo. i talked on the phone, sat outside in the sunshine, did the dyeing, hung it up, sat outside and talked, dyed some more, hung it up, made dinner (jake didn't know what to do with himself) i even packed up the leftovers for 2 days lunches for him. last night, not so good. i had a fever, but my body was cold, i had a bad headache, i think i vomited a couple of times, and to make it even more special, my nose was so stuffed up that i couldn't breathe. it was a miserable night. the night before, i hadn't slept at all, literally, and then got up and did all the stuff, so i guess it was payback. i didn't get out of bed today. i kept trying to get up, but i would fall back asleep. at 5 pm when jake called, i was still in bed. insane, eh?

so let me just send a little note to a long time "friend"...hey lupus...you suck my ass. big time. i always say that we coexist and i accept it and it is okay. it isn't. you seriously, seriously suck. and to make it even better, i can't even use you as an excuse for having to leave things early, not go out at all, etc, etc, because it makes me feel like i am making excuses. and your buddies chronic fatigue, epstein bahr, fibromyalgia, migraine, arthritis, and the awesome bouts of anxiety and depression that hang out with you, they all suck ass too. bunch of freeloading arseholes. if you wanna hang around with me, you need to start paying some sort of rent. bring a bag of chips, chip in for all the medications...something.

i had a custom order for chocolate brown yarn, and for any of you non-dyeing gals and gents out there, brown is a very tricky color. i initially dyed the fiber, and it came out so not right that i decided to spin the yarn, ply it and then dye the finished yarn. it took two shots at that, and it still has some light spots, but it looks okay. unlike oil paints, the fiber dyes just don't follow color theory. they are made up of so many different things that even on their own they pull out odd colors depending on the fiber. i have also heard that different pans can make colors change as well. i got some really pretty fiber. here are a few photos. i will be listing that and the other ton of fiber that i still haven't gotten around to listing. and i finally am getting my my electric carder from angela. yay!

i also took a photo of this "peaks" i have been crocheting. i have some really really big ones. this one was crocheted with noro yarn meant for machine knitting. it is almost as thin as thread. so i used a teeny hook and it took me forever to make. i don't know what they mean, but i feel compelled to draw and paint and make them. here is one, not stuffed yet, finger included for size...and dye stained nail. ew.

xo
n.

maryland sheep and wool? wot wot?

2008-03-29T22:58:00.002-04:00

somehow i have been in a world of my own and didn't realize that maryland sheep and wool festival is this coming weekend. i don't think we will be going. i mean, i know that jake will go with me if i ask, i just haven't made any plans, whatsoever, and haven't been listing new stuff because i swear i have been sick for the last month, so i am broke, too. hm. who out there is going?

in other news, despite waking up feeling beaten (again), i got some dyeing done, talked on the phone a bit and then totally crashed out for hours. you know that kind of sleep that you are completely baffled when you wake up and look at the clock? the craziest part about it is that i have still be exhausted at night and falling asleep at 1 or 2a, despite sleeping until 7 or 8 sometimes. i have to get all of my lupus, fibro, cfs, etc, etc, etc, bloodwork done to make sure that there isn't something up. i keep putting it off, like everything will be okay if i don't get the tests done, ya know? my allergies have been crazy, too. for example, i have tears streaming out of my eyes right now and i am not sad. plus the constant snot dripples. sexxxxxy!

and a few links for ya...
how cool are these organ shaped water bottles? pretty damn cool, indeed.
and you can engrave your laptop, or moleskine, or whatevah at engrave your tech.com kewl!!!

more to-morrow.
n.

is it caturday yet?

2008-03-29T22:36:00.004-04:00

well, just a quick post to say that i am indeed alive, and that i appreciate that anyone is wondering about me. i have had the migraine from hell that just won't go away. it kinda goes away and then comes back that night, or i wake up with it. when i don't have a full on migraine, i feel out of sorts, so i know it is going to come back in a few hours, which it does. since i have had good migraine meds, i rarely get this knocked out, but once you get into the cycle, it is hard to get back out of it. i have actually had some projectile vomiting. seriously. for the migraine pros out there, you know how usually you feel it coming on. nauseous, dizzy, sweaty...these ones...i feel bad, my stomach hurts and then...i hurl. and hurl. and hurl. like when a little kid hurls out of the blue and you can tell they are surprised and then start crying? like that. it is very odd.

the only thing i could think of is that i got blow pops to put in with my orders, i usually don't eat them. i have been eating them, a couple a day (i share with kahlo. bad. i know.) and i am really sensitive to tons of foods, scents, you name it. that is the only thing i have done different, so i wonder if something in there caused them. sounds odd.
otherwise, not much. jakie is going to be gone most of the day to-morrow, so i plan to get some fiberliciousness done in the meantime. let's pray that the headache nonsense can just be over tonite. fingers crossed. i must say, vomiting and black spots and dizziness really don't mix well with getting anything done. le sigh.

mwah
n.

i woke up!

2008-03-13T20:59:00.001-04:00

so, where have a i been for like...a week? well, i had the curse, okay? cramps, crazy stomach, migraines (several) one that caused me to think i had accidentally poisoned myself (not sure on what or why, but ya know) and i kept puking up bile or something and was so dizzy and screwed up that i woke up jake, again, thinking that i was poisoned and if i lapsed into a coma, i wanted him to know what was going on. um. i have spent just about all of the weekend sleeping or puking. we were supposed to go out with butter and lauren, and i really wanted to, but i felt all screwed up and sick and it was a good decision because the aforementioned migraine happened that evening, and being out would have been a bad thing and probably made the migraine/vomiting bad enough to get me in the hospital, which i hate so very very much. once you get dehydrated, you are kinda screwed, ya know? i have had that odd feeling all week, so when i got the migraine, it made sense. i also have had the mega super snoot, so at one point, i told jake that his breath was gross and after he left the room, i could still smell it, so i realized that it was in my head. or something. le sigh. so we did nothing this weekend. well, jake did stuff, i lay around and did nothing. i did work on some paintings and sketches in between being super sick, but i didn't even go online because i haven't been able to see, etc, etc, etc. i am feeling better now, though. damn ovaries. nothing but trouble. ya know?

3 of the house mixed media pieces had a cup of wash water fall on them. it was izzy's fault, she tends to reach up onto high shelves and knock stuff over, but it was mostly my fault for leaving anything out, so. i fixed them, used the matte medium mixed with gouache so the paint will not smudge, and i like them much better with the changes i made, although the linework is still not up to par. i haven't painted in ages, so i am getting my hand back. it takes time, i know. wanna see em?

i have a bunch of good links for ya. so here...
http://www.petermarigold.com/
http://photoshopdisasters.blogspot.com/
watch this!
look at this...
and this
and this
watch this one

not much else to report, because well, i have been sleeping almost all of the time i have been incommunicado. i am hoping to feel good enough to get work done this week. i have been working on some polymer clay dolls, too. i will keep ya posted. i did some sketches, too.

oh, i watched the jacket with adrian brody and it was a fantastic movie. it was on hbo, and i thought it was the jackal because i didn't have my glasses on (like usual) and my vision is getting much worse, but i get headaches from my glasses so i don't wear them and can't see. anyway,jake asked what the movie was and when i told him he said, the jacket, maybe? and i said...that makes way more sense. anyway, it reminded me of jacob's ladder a bit, but it was really a cool movie. and surprisingly uplifting. in the end, it was just that no matter how bad life is, when it is over, you wish you were alive again. it is never too late to do things, it is always better to have another chance. so. also, we watched a few minutes of a movie called beerfest and i was amazed that movies like that are able to be made. of course, the guy that makes the girls gone wild videos is a gazillionaire, so, i shouldn't be surprised that anything is done, really. ya know?

so, i am hoping that my period will be done to-morrow, i will feel good, my head will be clear, i won't be dizzy, nauseous, tired, etc, and will be ready to get some stuff done. i haven't done much spinning and i have been really eager to do so. so there we go. i have 2 custom yarns to do and i need to get stuff finished to send off for some shops, and i really need to get a current art portfolio together and try to get into some shows/galleries. we will see.

i missed you guys.
xo
n.

greasy, stanky bum oils. yum!

2008-03-12T00:29:00.003-04:00

so you might wonder if i am posting from san francisco. if you do, well...no. ms. peeps had a severe fit of constipation, so bad that the voracious eater wouldn't eat anything, not even tuna, and her belly was all hard and distended. we gave her a total of 3 enemas in 2 days, to no avail. the last two had a bit of oil in them and so she had greasy...leakage for the past couple of days that made the house smell oh so lovely. i felt like i had poo on me so i have showered even more than my usual two a day. grody. an hour after i needed to be at the airport, she started eating and clearly felt better. so. i was bummed out to not go, but i have actually gotten lots of stuff done here. when i get to be on whatever cracked out schedule i like, i get stuff done. especially when i am awake until the wee hours. plus this whole daylight savings nonsense throws me out of whack.

in non poop news, i got some other collage work done, the oval ghost house is done, plus a small canvas and another almost done, another just started. proof? okay...

i went to my local art supply and got some new watercolor pencils and sticks, one is called "inktense" by derwent, so i am hoping that can replace the pens. i also got some lining brushes, i opted for a value pack from there, that look to be decent quality, but i am so hard on brushes and i refuse to use the sable ones, so it worked best. leave me some feedback on the house series. i lub it. i really do.

i did some spinning today, i need to get some batts done, etc, and my studio is such a disaster, i really need to try to get it organized. it is gross, really.

xo
n.

pet-enema part deux

2008-03-09T00:07:00.003-05:00

ms. peeps is really constipated again, except that now, she isn't eating. this cat is a super eater, even though she is really petite, she has always been a pig, so when she turns down tuna, i worry. we had one more of the pet-enemas, which we gave her to no avail, nothing. she pooed out the blue enema gel and some bum goo, but that was it. she also barfed up some bile (i assume) and was just really lethargic. she went down with jake and ate a tiny bit of tuna and drank some water, which i think may be all she has had in two days. i had a migraine that kept me in bed all day and i even slept last night. i woke up from a dead sleep at 3 a.m. (i think) and ran to the bathroom in a cold sweat and was sick as a dog. after showering, i got sick again and then fell asleep until this morning. i have had waves of nausea all day, too. maybe i got it from peeps. anyway, where that is going is that i was literally unconscious all day yesterday, so i have no idea if peeps ate at all, but i doubt it. she normally does come to see me, or will lie next to my legs, or in the bedroom, but most often she sleeps in the bathroom laundry basket/pile and over the last few days, she has been much more affectionate and clingy, which is odd when cats feel sick, they normally just want to be alone. anyway, she is really smelly, even though i tried to clean her up with baby wipes, so she will need at least a bum bath tomorrow. she has such a fuzzy bum. sigh.

that said, i am supposed to go to san francisco on monday and if peeps isn't eating and looking better by sunday, i can't go. i know from my sweet black cat egon, when they get sick, especially when they are older cats (peeps is 15, believe it or not), things can go bad fast and i can't expect gabe to force feed her or to follow her around to see if she is eating drinking and cleaning her bum. so wish peeps luck, okay?

otherwise, i did get another of the ghost house mixed media collages done, i didn't get photos yet, but here are a few action shots...

i initially was using fine tip brow ink and then using a wash over it for the outlining, like on the last house collage you saw, but the tips just don't work so well over the different textures and gouache, they refuse to write every 5 seconds. eventually, i realized that i just need to get better at doing fine lines with a brush, and it went much better than i had expected. i do need to get a few new fine brushes and spend a bit more money on them. i have lots of japanese calligraphy brushes, but they are in bad condition from using them for washes. still, i feel like it came out okay. i am still having issues with the shingles on this one. i ramble.

i am sleepy, so off i go. snoooooooooore.
n.

ReG in LOndon!

2008-03-08T22:12:00.001-05:00

ReG, originally uploaded by Chris Da SaXmAn.

so, if you have been wondering what this character has been up to, he is living in england with chris, and just making a total nuisance of himself. sorry chris.

is it bedtime yet?

2008-03-07T01:00:00.003-05:00

i haven't been able to sleep so well lately, or like last night, almost not at all. so i am a bit shaky, you know that feeling? i have been obsessively working on the house collages which are become more complex and i am starting to hammer out some of the issues and glitches. the one pictured here that appears finished (kinda) was finished until i kept fussing with the roof tiles until i got to the point where i am...i can't stand the damn roof, so i need to rip that off and do it again. hopefully i can get it off withough causing damage to the piece, it really does take me quite a while to do. i sat outside although it was chilly to just sketch the shapes of the houses across the street and took some photos, just to have. i also trolled around flickr a while ago to look at other old house photos and found some incredible houses, some that look like the earth is trying to take them back, just amazing. i am interested in something like that, too. the house kitty corner from us here is really run down, but i love the way the siding looks, which i think i will use on the next one i work on, after the oval one in the photo. the oval one is actually done as far as all of the collage pieces are concerned, i really like how it looks so far, it is two houses in that one. i just need to outline all of the siding and roofing tiles and give it a little inkwash and go from there. i added a teensy bit more color to this one, don't know what i will think o fthat. anyway, i am excited about these. anytime i draw a door or window on to the houses, they just don't look right. it drives me nuts. don't know what that is about. i need to go online and see what the word is. i do put chimneys though...so maybe it is saying something about being inside and letting things out but not letting anything in? although how does the house get its fuel if there are no doors or windows? hmmmm. anyway, i am really wanting to apply to some galleries, and get my portfolio together, my statement and try to do that. i will still do my fibery endeavors, but i really want to try to overcome my fear of getting that together, which then would mean i need to approach galleries and maybe get turned down...a lot. sigh. i just have to be a big girl and do it. and try to grow as an artist, in every way that i can. the thing that really is important is to treat it like a job and to do it no matter what, by a schedule. it you are training for a marathon and never go to your training sessions, chances are, you are in trouble. if you want to grow as an artist and don't stick to your work schedule, same deal. you don't just get better, or good, by osmosis. the artists i have known that are the most talented tend to be people that do work every day. it is their job. it is their love. it is who and what they are. being lazy doesn't tend to yield results.

i am super sleepy, needless to say, but i wanted to pop in, les you think i am MIA. i have lots to show you and i am doing all i can to get all of the fiber weighed so i can list it tomorrow and over the weekend. so if you contacted me about something you wanted and didn't get any message from me yet, shoot me another message. i am a flake. so. sorry about that.

i have been hyper and tired, forgetting to eat, wanting to sleep, can't sleep, kinda hungry, don't feel like actually eating, and we go to san francisco next week just for a few days. i am very excited to go! i get to see my super good friend barbe, rumor has it i am going to see diana fayt's studio and i am hoping she will let me play with some clay. dunno. as you know, it was my focus for my degree and more and more i realize how much i miss it. i am excited to see everyone! we are only going to be there for 3 days when all is said and done, so not much time. kinda sucks. i will try to blog better to-morrow, i am just totally loopedy loopeyman.

i need to dye some fiber for a custom order and just get the studio and orders, etc, in order. it is seriously driving me nuts. i spent 16 minutes looking for my drafting rulers. i am sure when i buy more, i will fin the old ones. so damn annoying.

xo
n

started fires in my sleep. le sigh.

2008-03-03T23:12:00.002-05:00

what is this a photo of? answer correctly and you will win a little something.

firstly...it was 60 degrees today! it is supposed to drop down drastically overnight and then a snowstorm, but my oh my, was it nice to go outside on the deck to hand laundry (not that it dried) and not even with shoes on! it was a bit dreary for some of the day, but just being able to open the windows is downright sublime. i am not easily exciteable (outwardly, anyway), a fialkov trait, i think, but when you get to smell the damp soil, like when i go out to garden, my heart just soars. i feel like becoming a jogger. or learning to ride a bike. then i get my head back and just go and stand in the grass with bare feet. and that is pretty good. it really really is.

i was so inspired by the amazing weather that i did a bit of straightening up, the aforementioned laundry, moved some stuff around and then spent hours on another of the "house" mixed media collages. this one, no windows or doors, but siding and shingles on the roof. i dream about the work i have been making lately, or i do drawings after i take my p.m. medications and i don't clearly remember making them (i am really odd at night, i make an effort not to call anyone or buy stuff online because i don't tend to remember, i assume at the moment it seems like a super idea. sometimes it actually is, too.) i will post photos to-morrow. does anyone know what the meaning of a house with no doors or windows is? it does have a chimney, though. anyone? i kept fussing with outlining the shingles until i mucked it up, so i forced myself to just put it down until to-morrow. i have a huge problem with seeing the larger picture in anything i do. i get so fixated in the details that i screw with it until it is screwed up. when i was tattooing, this was something that absolutely tormented me. i get so so close to whatever i am working on (like my nose would touch it) and details drive me insane. for that reason, i don't tend to work on things that are really large. i would obsess until i just didn't want to look at it ever again. here is one of the early versions of the house series, i don't think i posted it yet, did i? i am not terribly proud of not having much else to show you guys.

so about the fire. on sunday morning, early, jakie woke up because he smelled smoke. he never wakes up. i could smell it, too. it smelled like marshmallows burning. he went all over the house, to the furnace, nothing. in the morning, he went to make me my sunday breakfast (cause he always brings me coffee and blintzes or cereal and yogurt or whatever for breakfast. he is so sweet. i should be doing it for him, sweet boy. he asks me to come downstairs. he sounds stern. i don't wanna go. i ask him what it is? did peeps pee on something? did i leave the back door open? what could it have been? i go downstairs, he tells me to look in the microwave...there are the charred remains of my embroidered lemon tea towel (part of a wedding gift we got from my friend rosa! i still have the lime one. sob!) sitting in there, and the microwave is all filled with the greasy smoke, which the magic eraser took right off, btw! the only thing i remember was that i had a headache and went downstairs to microwave my mint mask (one of my secret pals sent it to me, whoever it was, if you still read my blog, i use it ALL the time and would like to get another one, or find out what it is in it to find another...drop me a note. it is mint they say, but it smells like lavendar and something else, too.) i put it on top of a towel so that it wouldn't touch the bottom of the microwave (why? not sure) and took it out and went upstairs. i thought i had burned my mask by heating it too long because it smelled a bit funky, but i am guessing that the smell was the tea towel smoldering. should i worry about my mask catching on fire? and anyway, the microwave contained the smoke and the flames and is a generally safe place for a fire because it will put itself out, which it clearly did. the bad part was that i didn't notice the towel smoldering, or the bit of smoke at that point, unless it was that slow smolder? dunno. not good. we do have smoke detectors all over the place, though, and clearly it didn't make enough smoke to do more than smell like smoke. we thought there had been a fire in the neighborhood or something. i also went through some severe sleepwalking spells years ago when i was under a lot of stress and misery (pre-jakie times) and i would do stuff and totally not remember it. jake has dealt with me in some times that i am stressed or have a really bad migraine and i don't know when it is, where i am, and tend to try to leave. it is freaky. it is like being a blackout drunk, i think.

the other odd thing i have been noticing is that i have no appetite. i have gotten myself to always eat as soon as i wake up, and i went from not being a breakfast person (you guys need to figure out what you can eat and just work with it. you will eat less in the middle of the night. believe me!) it used to make me feel nauseous to eat when i got up, but i started slow and now i am hungry when i wake up. and i don't do anything first. this morning i was busy and had coffee but forgot to eat and then i was on the phone whilst doing house work and house artwork. hee. anyway, i forgot to eat. so by almost 12m, i ate some shredded wheat, a lightnfit no sugar added yogurt and black coffee with one raw sugar. (white sugar smells like bleach to me, i don't even use it to bake. blech. i have sugar cubes for anyone that might come over and want white sugar (my in-laws are sugar people. i think the brown stuff is scary. my parents, also. they use sweet n low.) but that is it. i literally forgot to eat. and i am not even hungry. i think that on days that i feel the least bit energetic, i am so driven to go and do and get and do and do and do, that eating just seems downright secondary, ya know? i remember what i used to be like, just going nonstop, making myself sick, ending up in the hospital or with pneumonia, or my favorite...legionaires disease. that one was rough. mainly because they told me it was a cold and to quit being a baby. story of my life.

jake and i got to spend some quality time together and i just love being around him. he rocks. he really does. how i scored a hot piece of arse like him...who knows? he will be in sanfrancisco for work next week and i would have loved to come and see barbe and diana and any of the other grrls that would be kind enough to show me your fair city, but i felt like spending almost 500 bucks on a ticket to go for a few days was just too much. of course jakie said he would pay for it, no problem, he likes me to come with him everywhere. he is one of the few husbands that really does want me to always be there. i just can't bear the thought of him having to work the hours to pay for the damn ticket. we don't have enough miles saved up yet, so. jake, when you read this, did you put your tickets on the card that gets the miles?

i am sleepy, so off i go.
i hope you guys know how much you all mean to me. your emails and (rare!) comments are always appreciated. jake always reads em, too. he will be doing another post soon, so always feel free to ask him if there is something you would like him to blog about...

xoxo
n.

R.I.P Fuzzy Gonzales, you will be missed.

2008-03-02T02:25:00.002-05:00

in the last week, i have been contacted be several people that i haven't spoken to in ages. one, a good friend from 7th grade, out of the blue, next, a friend that i stopped talking to years ago and a friend from junior high that happens to be my buddy butter's girlfriend's older sister (that was a mouthful) in a week. then, i had to go to the post office and use the machine, rather than a drive-by, which i normally do. we left home about 5 minutes later than jake wanted us to because i was watching gordon ramsey, so...anyway, whilst in the po, someone i known since my second year of college but hadn't been speaking to for a little while now came in and said she needed to tell me something and that her dad (fuzzy) had died a few days ago. how strange is it that i happened to be right there at exactly the right time? usually jake goes for me to the po, or i go during the day, when i assume she would be at work. anyway. it got me thinking about things in general.

it made me think about how much i love my life. i adore my husband, the animules, being able to work as an artist, being accepted and happy. i am on good terms with my parents for the first time maybe ever. it took a lot of drama to get things smoothed out, but in the end, things just show themselves to be what they are, and it is undeniable. being honest in life is so important, good or bad. because things just always come out and it sucks to realize that you are left with nothing real, that you don't have anything at all to show for your life.

fuzzy was an awesome guy, a fun person and the kind of dad that everyone wishes they could have. he was there for his family in every sense of the word, and he would be there for a stranger in need, also. everyone that knew him loved him dearly and it hasn't even sunk in yet that he really really is gone. not 20 minutes away, but gone. he had the luck of having a close family and knowing that everyone knew how much he loved them and how much they loved him. what more can you ask for?

xoxo
n.

p.s.i will be blogging about a response i got to the post about lawrence. you read the response if you like on that post,

remembering lawrence

2008-02-29T20:15:00.002-05:00

i don't know if you have heard of thishate crime against a junior high student who was openly gay, but it seems like there hasn't been nearly enough attention paid to it. pop by and show your support.

xo
n.

shlubbbby

2008-02-28T22:59:00.003-05:00

i had a few bad days, needless to say. you know, the days when you don't sleep all night and then wake up at 12:30 p.m. and literally don't have the energy to get up and get coffee or a shower, check email, do anything. and i dozed on and off, and then headaches at night. woot! i feel better now. in honesty, i didn't feel sick, just exhausted. for anyone who wonders what chronic fatigue syndrome and lupus (et al) mostly do to me is that. you know how you would feel the day after you ran a marathon after partying all night? i think, that is what it would feel like. so. i did do a bit of knitting for gifts, and i have been sketching and working on some mixed media things...here is the proof...the house one needs to be mounted still, i think in a shadow box. i need to figure that out. i have another version in mind that will have the shingles and roof tiles from individual wee pieces of paper. i will go a bit bigger, i think even though i tend to have issues with big projects that take too long. i lose interest, usually after i have spent a ton of time on it. i need to get better at that. and also at pacing myself. i tend to dive into whatever it is i am super obsessed with at the moment and get sick of it before i actually perfect it. so. i really need to pace myself.

one of my only high school friends sent me the link for the yappy yinzers talking dolls. they are actually rather hilarious. make sure that you clicky on the dolls to hear what they say. if you haven't ever heard a pittsburgh accent before, these dolls are right on. i don't sound like that. i didn't grow up here. so. i hope i don't, anyway.

i applied for two plush shows, one i got the bulk email for, and i know tons of people applied, but still. sniff. the other, for plush you, i haven't heard anything, which i assume is also a no. i did get a reqeust for some of my mixed media collages to be in a new online and maybe print magazine

jake just rolled over and told me that he just had a dream that he had enormous hair. i attempted to ask him what it looked like, was it an afro? he said it was styled but enormous. hm. he has curly hair, so if he grew it out, it would grow...well, out. up. it would be funny. he did have a bit of a tom waits tousled look for a little while, which i thought was super cute, but as a boy that has spent his life fighting his hair, he has a hard time just letting it be its curly self. wanna see what pavel has been doing to cuddle up with jakie lately? okay....it is dark, but can you see? hogging the pillow?

here is an awesome site i have never heard of before. have you heard of circus hour.com? it is funny. this artist...artist isn't even a strong enough word...allison sommers work is tiny and otherwordly and so so amazing. it literally takes my breath away. it is so sublime (yeah, i just said that.) i can't even relate to it. so. look at the detail in the work and then look at the size that they are. insane. there are not many artists who have this effect on me. not just wow...but wooooaaaah.

i have a beast of a headache pumping and i need to finish checking emails and try to go to sleep so i can be productive to-morrow, i mean, today. and it is friday already. woah. i am craving soup and salad from the olive garden where we never ever go because the food is faux italian and is mega salty, but i crave their minestrone and breadsticks for some reason. hm.

mwah. wish me luck that my migraine is not just starting, my ears are aching, my neck is hurting, i feel all funky. off i go. le sigh.

xoxo
n.

bits n pieces. n pieces. n pieces.

2008-02-20T21:56:00.003-05:00

so, firstly, here are a few mini-plush/felt things i have been working on. i have done some little doodles to follow, which is not what i usually do. i tend to just get started and see what it wants to be. the pink amigurumi dude, i just don't know what he wants to be. any ideas? i was bagging bits and pieces spinning fiber bags, so forgive the fact that every picture has a ton of fiber in it. gross looking.

so on to that. i need to finish packing orders, as well as finishing the goody bags for shannon's cruise, although i did make a good dent in it, so that is something. the orders i was filling from the shop have sections of different rovings bunched together and then a bunch of different bits and pieces of loose fibers, locks, etc, and i was stunned at how huge the bags got. and fast. they are supposed to be 3oz or a bit more. i haven't weighed them, but they are way over that. when i was first spinning, i would have peed my pants over all of the stuff in there. if you have a carder, it would be fun to run through, but i tend to spin my hat kits and striping skeins right from the fiber. there is so much different stuff, it is insane. here is a non-exhaustive list:soy silk, soy latte, bamboo silk, loose bamboo, tussah silk, silk noils, cotton, camel, ecospun, ingeo (corn silk), 3 different kinds of locks, nylon, sari silk, hemp, linen, angelina, firestar, icicle top (dyed), mohair top, merino top, bits of yarn, alpaca, rayon, i can't remember what else, though. i know i am missing some stuff. there are more than 25 different fibers in there. weeeeeeeeeee. here is a bad pic of some of the bags set up...

zat is all. it took me forever to get the bags done, and i really thought i would get orders packed, too, but ya know. i woke up with a headache and had a fatigue kinda day that was hard to get up, so i took a pep pill and a pain pill so i could get stuff done and it made me super shaky. like 5 pots of coffee shaky. ya know? gah! due to the headaches lately, which i swear aren't bad painwise, just the side effect aura type stuff. my vision is all funky, and has been all week, i have been smelling gross stuff constantly. i think that i smell bad. it drives me insane. i shower twice a day and don't exactly work up a sweat in between, but i have a super snoot when i am not in headache mode, let alone when i am. i also kept thinking that peeps had taken a poo in my room, and couldn't find anything. drove. me. crazy.

mwah. mwah. mwah.
n.

poppy scarf-a-rama!

2008-02-18T23:34:00.002-05:00

my good friend and bestseller, the poppy skinny scarf, pictured here, has made it into two treasures! go poppy!
a one and
a two kewl, no?

i spent the day taking photos of fiber. i had to move everything (what amounts to a giant bag of rovings) twice after tagging, but i didn't weigh them yet, so i still need to do that before i list em. i also need to bag up loose locks and fiber and take photos and weigh, plus make the goody bags for shannon's stitch n bitch cruise. plus pack orders. so to-morrow i will be a busy girl, again. here are the new fibers...

i was up until really late last night with a mild migraine, the migraine part wasn't that painful, mainly i was dizzy and nauseous, so i think i took another shower when jakie was leaving, i don't remember for sure.

i made a note to myself that the craftzine ads were going up for sale on etsy at midnight, and there is no listing of it. i would assume i was remembering wrong, except that i did a sticky note on the mac, usually, they have the ads that will be available and when they go up for sale, which is where i saw it, but it isn't there now, only the bust ad that is sold out already. gah! i was so obsessed with not forgetting because my memory is such crap, and now it isn't there! gah. no clue what is up with that.

i did some sketches of wee softies to make into pins i think. i am not sure. i just need to sit down with the felt, etc, and see where it goes. i am super hungry for no good reason, so i am going to have a 12:13a.m. snack.

mwah
n.

ka-pow!

2008-02-17T16:07:00.002-05:00

check out who has the best ham and chez in america! woot woot! primanti bros in pittsburgh (we even have one in my town, too.) it is a gigantor sandwich that has their vinegar coleslaw, french fries, tomato (i get no tomato) and even an egg on it if you like. these were a staple for before and after going to see a band, or coming from a bar if you needed to get some grease in your stomach. and they are open super late. yum! mayhaps we will get one for dinner. usually, i would share with someone and still not even eat my half.

i finally go invited to ravelry! i am luxe for anyone interested i am rather baffled about how to get my shop listed. i listed some stuff in my notebook under stash, but i have no idea what more to do. i got frustrated pretty fast and fell asleep. i wanted to get new photos of the fiber done, plus weighing and tagging that and other fiber, but it is so dreary out and fiber tends to look better with daylight than the lights. i may end up having to use the lights if it is dreary again to-morrow. i am hoping to do a bit more dyeing to-morrow and will likely do an update then.

i have had this lingering migraine aura that makes me nervous to go get groceries or drive. my vision is a bit spotty and i feel like my head isn't attached to my body. the florescent lights do bad things to me, especially when i feel like that.

i found stuffwhitepeoplelike.org via my buddy shannon and it cracks me up. there are a bunch of people who got super super pissed off and left comments and it cracks me up. i am doing my very best to keep a bit more caught up with blogs. i got so behind that i couldn't catch up, so i really am trying. i don't know how super productive people manage to find new things online, read blogs AND get stuff done. very impressive! my collages went to art stream studios for the valentine's benefit show, so pop by and see if there is anything you fall in love with (get it? valentine's day?)

mwah!
n.

about migraines...

2008-02-17T00:00:00.002-05:00

one in a series of mixed media pieces that i feel need to be mounted and/or framed to seem done. so i have just left them in my studio. i really love them, though. what do you guys think? tell me, i can handle it.

so obviously, you all know that i have had migraines since i was wee. i never realized that the things i see are things that lots of other people see, too. also, people with epilepsy see similar things before a seizure. my neuro has told me before that migraines have a similar scrambling effect on the brain as seizures do. i know that i have problems finding words after a migraine, remembering phone numbers, it is a strange thing. have alzheimer's must be like that in some ways, but it doesn't go away. it must be so frustrating. before migraines, many people have "auras" which means that you see wierd shapes and light or dark spots, or can be blind spots, which i have badly. also, you can smell everything really intensely, often bad smells that may or may not be there. i tend to think that i smell bad and can't figure out where the smell is coming from. also, any kind of food smell will make me nauseous. minor sounds are incredibly annoying and make your ears actually hurt, like someone clapped you on the ear. i have a lot of these strange sensitivities all the time, actually, certain sounds make me want to hurl...people chewing, the sound of things pouring...especially in a commercial, it drives my insane. oh, here is another really strange one...you know when someone folds a piece of paper and then runs their forefinger and thumb over it to make the crease, and sometimes they do it over and over? that is like nails on a chalkboard to me. and when i worked as a tattoo artist and piercer, i would give instruction sheets for care and while i was explaining it, the customer would fold it and fold it and fold it and i would get so edgy that i could barely talk. not that they listen, anyway.

i can't use sandpaper. it has a similar effect as the above mentioned. also, i can't stand people putting a popsicle stick in their mouth. huuuurrrl! i don't know why. i know it makes no sense. it just drives me crazy. here is this amazing article from the new york times on visual migraines. really interesting.

i have had a mild on again off again migraine brewing for the last couple of days and i stayed home and made jakie go out with our friend because i was afraid i would go out and get sick. he really tries to refuse to go anywhere without me, but i don't want him to have a boring life just because i do. i hate to try to look normal when i don't feel good and i had already gone through a few of the migraine symptoms already. and it is starting back up again. so i best get off of the computer and quit bitching about being sick. waa waa.

i did get a zillion yards of an alpaca/silk yarn that i overdyed (it was like tan and cream carder together...boooooring) and it was so nice to spin. it was so much like silk, i wouldn't have even known what it was if i had to guess. really lovely. it is in purply blues mainly. a bit boring, but ya know. and i rebraided the rovings i dyed the other day and that made them look much better right out of the gate. i need to take new photos because the onesi took sucked. ah well.

xo
n.

i am on the etsy showcase 4 times today!

2008-02-16T17:25:00.001-05:00

here they are if you are interested...i just found out that the way to tell is that there is a gold star next to a list that has one of your things in it.
numba one
numba two
numba threeeee
numba four!

xo
n.

some things about me...

2008-02-15T21:35:00.003-05:00

1. i love giving gifts. i get so excited for someone to get it (and love it) that i tend to harass. especially if i think it is a super duper good one. and i can't keep a secret. as soon as i get it, i have to give it.

2. if i see someone cry...even on tv, a movie...a commercial...i cry too. i don't even feel sad, it just does me in. sniff. also, i can make myself cry.

3. when i was a kid, i wanted to be a veterinarian. after realizing that i suck at math and all of the sciences except for biology, i thought again. i have a big soft spot for animals. more so than for people. is that bad?

4. i have had pin worms several times as a kid from kissing the dog. i didn't have a lot of friends cause we moved a lot and honestly, the dogs still would have been better friends. they really listen, you know?

5. i get really bad migraines from msg, blue cheese (even if it was on a salad that i requested to be without it and was removed in the kitchen), most kinds of alcohol, car sickness, being over tired or upset and other things i am not sure of. i have gotten them since i was in early grade school. if we had a party at school, i would gorge myself on doritos and cheezy things not knowing that they were poison to me. by the time i got home, i would be violently ill. i also would take the "accent seasoning" from the kitchen and lick my hand and sprinkle it on and then lick it off. accent is pure msg. yay! fyi, virtually every non-health store seasoning packet or soup mix has msg in it. so don't try to feed it to me. k thanx. i still have them, but the medications are way better. i get panicky when they don't kick in right away because i hate nothing more than going to the ER. as my neurologist likes to say "they give you the wrong thing and (gestures cutting throat with index finger)..." which is really true. they never listen.

6. my mom is a musical prodigy, as are her brothers. in south africa, she was a well known opera singer, cellist and pianist. she gave it up to get married and have kids, even though my dad said he would wait for her to go to grad school. the things we do for love.

7. i went to a state college for my first miserable year of college where i was tormented in every way possible for not being like everyone else. seriously. people stole my shoes, everyone whispered my name when i walked into lunch (i swear it. my few friends at school will back me up.) i took an art class at another college and ended up finishing out my education there. it was a women's college and i loved it. no one wanted my shoes there.

8. for anyone that possibly doesn't know, i have lupus, chronic fatigue syndrome and fybromyalgia. i won't list everything else because then i will seem like a hypochondriac. mainly i just get tired out easily.

i got some dyeing done today. i did lots of locks, a bit of soy latte and some other rovings. i used the mixed bottles of dye i always use, except that clearly it was not as potent as it was, so i had to mix new dye for most of the locks. i think i will probably stop mixing bigger batches and mix as i need it. i make a mess anyway. and guess what cleans up dye stains even better than bleach? you guessed it! the magic sponge! i love those things! they rawk! i will probably take photos of my fibers and post em this weekend. i would like to do some more stuff with fresh dyes, too.

have you heard that the bodies exhibit is under scrutiny again about who the bodies are? it is in pittsburgh right now, it is on 20/20 tonight and here is an article in the post gazette. i guess you can buy something like those online. le sigh. it appears that the story that was initially going around is possibly untrue. or likely untrue. they get them into america as a "plastic model for medical teaching" rather than human remains.

off to watch 20/20.
xo
n.

yet another use for magic erasers!

2008-02-14T23:55:00.002-05:00

i just had to post this before i forgot (again!). i know i told you all a while ago how amazed i was with the magic eraser. it cleans sharpie off of the floor. scuffs, scuzz, dye, it cleans everything. it seriously does, and without any additional cleaner added. really good. hard water stains? gone. hard water deposits on the shower head? gone. this thing is crazy. anyway, i went on wiki to see how it worked and basically it is an abrasive, but it is so fine that it doesn't scratch anything. it is really an odd thing. anyway, i read an article about some woman that claimed that she wiped off her little kid's face with it and it caused abrasions. it is possible, but unless she was really scrubbing, it seems unlikely. however, it gave me an idea. as you know, i walk barefoot as much as possible. my feet are all calloused and beat up due to this. on the upside, i can walk on hot cement and sharp stones, on the downside, my feet look beat up. i hate using the foot pumicey things and other things that don't work that well. i decided that i would put some soap on the magic eraser and try it on the really thick callouses on my sole. it worked super duper well. i think i am going to market the magic callous eraser! you know how those gross foot files take chunks out of your skin? this just smooths it out. if you scrubbed at normal skin, you would end up really sore, but on super rough skin, it works awesome. you can even hit some of the rough areas that are not super rough and it works there, too. elbows, etc. you just have to take it really easy, a few gently swipes, maybe. so. and if you do this and get hurt, it isn't my fault. i imagine that the manufacturers would tell you not to do it...or they would steal my idea. who knows?

xo
your softer footed pal
n.

so sweet it makes your teeth hurt

2008-02-14T16:19:00.003-05:00

on this valentine's day, i realize that i have known my jake for almost 15 years. it blows me away. i remember meeting him so clearly, and while he was only 18 back then, (way too young for my 21!) he exuded kindness and generosity, and he was so cute. we were friends for a long time, and oddly, i think other people had idea that it would end up being more. we didn't see each other for a couple of years and then started hanging out again. he was all growed up! he just won my heart over. no matter how much crazy nonsense i attempted, he was just unshaken. he didn't get mad. he didn't get annoyed. he sees something in me that no one else sees. not even me. for all of the flaws i have, and there are many, he really loves me. i never feel insecure. i never feel unloved...or even unliked. in my life, i have never felt that kind of love. and i love him just as much. i am never sick of him. he is never boring. he is adorable. even my granny, who doesn't even like most of her grandkids loves jake. she couldn't stop staring at him and told me that i was really lucky to have such a handsome and kind husband. you don't know her, but that is a BIIIIG compliment. and i agree with her. he is pretty great. nay, not pretty great...he is the most amazing person i have ever had the luck to know. he rocks.

and he is gorgeous (like a moviestar my mom says, who also doesn't throw compliments arount, believe me. i don't either.) and has great taste in music, and for me, an utter music nazi, that is important. i have not the stomach for bad music. and he adores our cats. every newborn kitten i have brought home (2 so far) jake has not even made a peep about finding a home for. as soon as he holds them, they are home. they are his babies. he loves them to cuddle up to him when he sleeps, as you see in a zillion different photos. he is a snuggly, huggy, kissy, sweet boy.

happy valentine's day jakie! everyone loves you, but not as much as i do.

and happy valentine's to all of you! mwah mwah mwah!
your wifester,
n.

oh, and i wanted to just send this valentine to pavel from his little girlfriend, izzy...

num num num num

2008-02-13T22:21:00.003-05:00

can you believe how little izzy was? too cute. i miss that wee baby, as much as i love the gremlin that she is, kittens are so damn cute. le sigh.
well, hello! this week has just gone by like a big blur! crazy fast! in some exciting news, i put a pyrex dish on the bottom rack to cook our dinner and when i took it out, it kind of exploded...not like a bomb, more like a rock through a window. i did the fialkov gasp...you know that kind of gasp that scares people? like when you almost get in a car accident? or almost fall down the stairs? or slip on ice? i do it a lot and i know it is one of the things about me that jakie doesn't like so much, cause i scare him, like something really bad happened. we had to throw away a bit of dinner that touched glass, but it was okay. it was so strange. so word of advice to those of you that think pyrex is indestructible from heat! barbe said that she put a frozen chicken in a dish in the oven and it cracked, too. so, be warned!

the weather here has been horrible. incredibly cold, windy, snowy and as a result, icy. jake left early from work yesterday and stayed home today. i know he felt guilty even though there were all these reports on the news about tons of accidents. one of the things i heard was that a 9 year old was on a sled with his 3 year old sibling on their driveway (yeah. driveway.) and went out into the road, got hit by a car and the little one died. i imagine that the older one will have a miserable life, even though the parents should have been watching them sledding on their driveway that leads onto the street. i guess i don't know the specs, and kids can be wiley. sad, though. in college, there is a gigantor hill that used to be a cornfield, i think, and everyone would go sledding down the hill on garbage can lids and garbage bags (i see a theme here!) and this one girl went off of the "sled" and over a tree limb or piece of metal sticking up and ripped a hole in her ass cheek and had to go to the ER. i am the biggest puss ever and i get hurt doing nothing at all, so i never do stuff like that, for that very reason. although, i am afraid i will hurt my hands and have always been that way. if i fall, my first thought is...my hands! and then...my teeth! i have an irrational fear of knocking out my teeth. i suffered through night braces, retainers, braces and other strange contraptions and having teeth cut out of my head. my teeth aren't that great, but i would like to keep em. i'm just saying is all.

in other news, i put two circle collages up in my etsy shop.
and a ghost heart (white one), also. i personally really love them, but i don't know if anyone else will love them enough to buy them. the shop has been keeping busy, which is awesome. i had a couple of weeks that were slower than usual, so it freaked me out. everytime, it freaks me out. i am really trying to do as much artsy work as i do my crafty endeavors. it is easy to just do what comes to you naturally. it is hard to push yourself all the time. the people that i admire most are the people that keep pushing. they do it so well, it looks like they are dancing, you know? i am blabbering now.

i had some suggestions about a different way of using my patches (like a cracker? noooo!), timing them differently, and so far, it really seems like it has made a big difference. it could just be coincidental, i have only been doing it since this past friday, but i haven't felt crummy, just tired, and that is after i have done stuff, so it isn't a big deal. i have gotten migraines, but controllable and that is just the way it is. my skin is going crazy, too, and i have no clue what that is all about. pms maybe. my body is a mystery to me. boy is it ever!

i got all of jakie's valentine's gifts ahead of time, so he got them a while ago, but i will be doing a valentine's day post to-morrow for him. he rawks. sigh.

mwah!
n.

luxe.etsy.com update!

2008-02-10T20:45:00.000-05:00

so first, i updated the shop and put in lots of good stuff. i have more going up to-morrow. it has been a bit too dreary to take photos, so i need to actually dig out the tripod and set up lights and such, unless somehow the light peeks out to-morrow. so. i will be putting some of the circle collages up to-morrow.

i went out for groceries today and was going to wear my new 3/4 sleeve coat, but thankfully, i poked my head out before doing that. i wore my new red coat that is really nice and heavy and came back in to get a neckwarmer and long gloves. despite that, it was so bitterly cold and insanely windy that i was freezing my ass off. while i was putting the groceries in the trunk, a gust of wind picked up one of my bags and blew it a million feet into the air and across the parking lot. another gust took my receipt. i ran the cart back, got into the car and decided i wasn't going to the pet supply. and i am really not normally so wimpy in the cold. if i am dressed properly, i normally am fine. it was just sooooo cold.

i guess that about does it.
keep warm!
n.

step thump step thump

2008-02-08T23:42:00.000-05:00

okay. so i overdid it today. i did. and i liked it. take that! i didn't sleep so well, i had the migraine, whch i still have today, so i was just not sleeping. i woke up early-ish and had my coffee and some cheez blintes that jakie got me at the grocery. i took one of my pep pills. i then proceeded to spin from 11a until almost 7 p (i think) i chatted with a few people before the phone battery died and then i just continued to do work. i have some good stuff to show for it. i need to skein stuff up and get the orders out and i am planning to get the presents that i owe some of you from xmas packed up, which will be a load off of my guilt that i cause myself because i take forever to get things wrapped up. stupid. anyway, i am wired and wiped out all at once and i have the kind of migraine that has the odd waves of queasiness and i feel like everything is annoying me. i am hoping to just fall asleep, i will go and nuke my eye mask in a minute.

i will be listing buttons on my etsy shop to-morrow, as well as some really cool yarn kits and hopefully some batts, too. we will have to see what happens.

xo
n.

chocolate.

2008-02-06T22:01:00.000-05:00

i had my doctor appointment today and i am proud to say that i got up at 8:30a and got myself showered and made up and dressed. i am so so bad in the morning. it takes me hours to feel human usually. it is a source of guilt for me that i don't do more earlier in the day, but when i tried to get up earlier, i found that i was totally wrecked and done for the day by earlier afternoon. i did get really tired early on and didn't really do anything. it was actually tiring to check emails and i had to relax for a little while before returning phone calls. gah! i got a sneak attack migraine tonite. it didn't surprise me that much because i did get so exhausted and chilled and sort of lost time, which is the strangest feeling. i was trying to watch lost and didn't think i was sleeping, but i completely missed it. i took a shower because all of a sudden my nose was all stuffed up and my sinuses hurt and when i got back out, i fell asleep. now, it is 12:45a and i hope i am not up all night, but too tired to do anything. and the migraine is coming back, so i best be quick here. the crazy thing is that compared to the episodes i have of feeling all crazy and creepy crawly, i prefer a migraine. at least i can take something that just knocks me out with amigraine. the other thing, i don't even know what it is or what to do for it because nothing helps. at all.
i entered the plushyou8 show and i am still waiting to hear back. i am in the valentine's day artstream studios show, which is a good start. i just really need to apply for more shows. i am really trying to incorporate fiber into my mixed media pieces. i have been really excited about the circle pieces lately and seeing how they evolve.

what else? i finally organized the buttons that i made and took photos. i measured them and wrote down the sizes on the cards i sewed them onto, grouped them so that people could see which ones had matching ones, etc. the buttons were so incredibly labor intensive and i am very tempted to get back into the clay studio to do some buttons there. the buttons i do are finished on both sides and i guess that isn't really necessary and doing only one side would be much faster and much easier because when you do both sides and are using a heat gun there are lots of issues that arise. wanna see some photos? i will be listing these over the weekend. if you want something, drop me a note and i will hang onto it for ya. i have no idea if they will do really well or not. i have had wonderful feedback and i don't think there is anything like these that i have seen, so i think it will. the photos don't do these buttons justice.

also, i have been getting some really fun striping yarns for hat and purse kits. i am also doing custom orders, so do feel free to ask if you want something. they are so fun to work with. i made a sample with a yarn that has a bunch of different wools, locks and sections of cotton and i just love spinning it and it is so smooth and soft. it makes the squishiest coils. ah, lub. lub, lub, lub.

and this gorgeous etsy shop with really reasonable prices...cotton bird designs

mwah!
n.

yip yip yip yip uh huh uh huh

2008-02-05T19:10:00.000-05:00

i have spent the time away from the blog knocked out and sleepy. i would pick sleeping over the insane feeling any day of the week, although it does kind of stink to feel so groggy and drugged all the time. it almost seems like if i have a busy day or two, it is enough to send me into a tailspin. yesterday, i was so exhausted that i couldn't even stay awake. you know that kind of sleep that you feel like you drank a bunch of nyquil and just can't wake up? anyway, today i am still tired, i worked on some yarn i need to get finished, but after a couple of hours i lay back down because i was just pooped. we were supposed to go out for dinner with the in-laws, but i was just too tired.

peeps got her teeth cleaned yesterday and had to get 3 pulled out. she has been sleepy and quiet, but seems okay. kahlo has been picking on her. they are littermates and can't stand each other. kahlo's best friend was egon, and she has never really liked any other cat much. she likes izzy okay, i guess.

otherwise, not too much. i have a bunch of the handmade utee buttons carded and ready for photos and i have more circle pieces ready to go that need to be photographed.

mwah!
n.

cat toof cleaning...

2008-02-03T21:53:00.000-05:00

ms. peep has to get her teeth cleaned and possibly some dental work, too. she had a cut on her face that is just now healing after the 3rd round of anti-biotics and the vet thinks that she might have a infected tooth to blame. i always worry when the cats have to get anything at all done, and peeps has a heart murmur, so i worry about a 14 year old girl (she doesn't look or act 14 though. even the vet always thinks she is younger) getting put under anaesthesia. we lost our black cat, egon (named after egon shiele the artist) who was the best boy in the world, as well as ms. kahlo's first and only love. he got his teeth cleaned and stopped breathing and then we found out he had some sort of tumor on his heart/lungs. we never really knew what happened but within a month, he went from being fine to being so so sick and in pain that we had to put him to sleep. so. i get worried. anyway, i take her in at 10 a.m. to-morrow. so. keep your fingers crossed for her.

yesterday jakie and i went out and about. i went to joann's whilst he went to the used cd store and the guitar shop. he got me some kate bush that i had and lost, so that was cool. i only picked up more wood plaques for the circle collages and a needle tool for poking holes in cardboard. i attempted to just use whatever i had around, but the holes were messy and blown out. i am hoping to add some crocheted borders to some of the circle collages. i have a mental image, i guess i will have to see if they look anything alike, ya know? we went to barnes and noble where i blew my xmas gift certificate that the cats got me (aren't they sweet?) i mainly got magazines, a jill bliss journal and some of her little multipack journals. i usually use moleskines, but they didn't have the kind i use, so i just got the jill bliss ones because they are so cute. plus, i generally just have little sketches, doodles, ideas, notes, just junk, so i don't really need it to be so nice. i burn through journals FAST. the pages with junk on em, i tend to use for circle collages, etc. we had dinner after that and then came home and hung out and cuddled. chilled. we were up late. it was nice. i dig my husband, i really really do.

i have always had a hard time opening up with most people and being goofy. i am able to be that way with jakie. i actually notice it most when i realize how tense i am with my parents, and even jakie's parents, who i really love. i think that most people would be alarmed if they saw how strangely i act. i do thinks like sing songs in the highest voice possible, replacing the words with my own nonsensical ones, or sometimes with the word "peeps" over and over, which she goes nuts over. she loves it when i sing or speak in a high(er) pitch voice than usual. i actually feel myself being stiff sometimes. i remember as a kid doing it, too. even to the point of hiding how i feel about things. like if i am given a gift, i don't know how to act. i get a bit freaked out. when we got married, totally like a zombie. i actually went to therapy about it because i could feel myself being like that and i didn't know why. there was family stuff going on, too, at that point, but still, i was not in the moment, and i wish i had been. especially because i adore jake, i love him so passionately, he is my home, he is the best thing that has ever happened to me and i don't even know how it happened. i digress.

i put up another one of my softies on the www.luxe.etsy.com shop, gael the polar bear. he is very handsome and comes with a sweater, a scarf, a tank top and a tshirt, too! his story is on the listing, so go check him out!

here are a couple of etsy peeps that i ran across tonite and really liked...thissy one and
these unusual prints by yellena.

off to finish knitting an order.
xoxo
n.

le sigh.

2008-01-30T23:28:00.000-05:00

i didn't get up until 3pm today. i kept waking up last night and early this morning and izzy would be sitting there with one of her ponytail holders wanting me to throw it for her. i wonder how long she sits there for before i wake up. we really should get a video camera. i would probably catch them farting on my face or something. oh wait, they already do that. izzy is a gas machine. she regrets that her lack of bum cheeks makes them silent. poor kitten. when she was a baby, the actually made farty noises.

i got a bit of spinning done, i planned to update and then fell asleep with the computer, so you know how that goes. i do have a bit of stuff to show, though.

junkie blues...

2008-01-29T23:07:00.000-05:00

i had really strange and sad dreams about my grandfather (who died a little while ago) dying, and being with my mom and granny waiting for him to die. i hate the hospital. one of the things i do remember was that the mattresses had goldfish inside of them. anyway, i woke up in the morning and the power went off (it was off all day, too.) and got my favorite mysterious malady, the junkie blues. i have no other way to describe it other than what i imagine kicking drugs must be like. my skin crawls, i can't sit still, everything hurts, i literally feel like i will do anything to make it stop. it lasts hours. this time, it lasted from 10 am until about 4 pm. in that time, i took 5 showers and 1 bath. odd as it sounds, i lay down in the shower and let the water hit the soles of my feet.

needless to say, that was what i did today. i did my best to try to work on something else, but i couldn't. after jake got home, i fell asleep for a bit. feeling miserable like that really makes me exhausted. le sigh. i feel better now. tired, but much better.

otherwise, i have done a decent amount of spinning lately, i was supposed to do an update on sunday and didn't feel up to it, and still haven't. i will get to it ASAP. i swear.

my friend katrina is going to have to get surgery soon and i just wanted to give a shoutout to her and her amazing partner sending my love and positive thoughts. she has been a wonderful, thoughtful friend to me. she is one of the sweetest people i have ever met. she is one of those few people that make it past age 20 without being jaded and negative, despite having a less than perfect life. that is quite an amazing quality. she is always open to learning new things and she rocks.

xoxo
n.

is my eye popping out?

2008-01-27T21:33:00.000-05:00

i was supposed to do a big yarn update today, but i was lazy and had a headache all day, which has gotten worse and i shouldn't be online, but ya know. anyway, i will be doing it to-morrow, along with working on some other new things that i am excited about. really excited. i have some lovely valentine's day yarns, as well as some that would easily double as breast cancer awareness that are much more subtle than my usual, but lovely and squishy. i promise, cool stuff to come. i am also planning to add some of the circle collages to the update and some softies i crocheted that i was being clingy with, and i need to cut the cord (or yarn, as it were. hee. cut the yarn. i crack myself up.) so that should be done by suppertime to-morrow eastern time. i will be sending out an email to those of you on the list. here is a little taste of em...i have several striping ones, that are really fun to work with, and several with organic green (unbleached) cotton sections that are all poofy and soft. i am stunned that i love spinning up the cotton so much even though it is such a short staple, but i really do. who knew?

so, here are some nice things i ran across over the last few days online...
1.this sweet girl has started a charity to ger new art supplies for herself to use in the hospital, to make her crafts to sell for more supplies for herself and other kids to use in the hospital. what an adorable little girl. a little girl with a spirit like hers and wonderful, upbeat parents like hers has just gotta be okay, right? doing and making art and craftsy endeavors have really been instrumental in my mental welfare, particularly when i am too sick to get out of bed, so i really think that this is a wonderful idea, not just for her, but for anyone that is sick, or really, even depressed. it gives you something to show for your time.
2.how about thislovely book?.

3. yarn made out of newspaper? funnily enough, i apparently read this article before because i commented on it and don't remember, but anyway, this artist made yarn out of newspaper that is really lovely and then it was woven into a rug. i would be interested to know how well it holds up, i am sure once woven it would be okay, as long as it was sealed in some way. it looks really cool, though. someone commented that she had spun rice paper and crepe in college in the 70's, which would be lovely, too. hmmm. anyway, here it is

4.more links? okay. thissy one
a LJ friend's lovely new bookon blurb. i have been wanting to do something myself, but i am so disorganized. still, it looks like fun. i would love to do a children's book, too. with my favorite buddy gabe although we never get our act together. i can't, at least. i keep meaning to pop by again and see him at work and pop into the antique place and call my antique hook-up mick to see if he has a few of the odds and ends that i am looking for. he always tells me just to call, but i forget. and i know he has all kinds of storage units, including a little garage in town that i poked around in before. full of dusty, rusty, broken stuff. swoon.

5.and here is another wonderful charity that you could donate your old sewing machine, or whatever your could afford to give, or even your teaching services to help people who lost everything in katrina to get back their lives. i have 2 vintage sewing machines that work, but need to be worked on that i could donate. my local antique/thrift store gets tons in all the time, too. i know he would love to get rid of em. you can also donate lil preemie caps, which even a child could make and would probably love to make!

otherwise, i best get going and try to sleep to get this pain in my head out. jake, the consummate musicophile actually taps his feet in time to any music playing on tv or otherwise while he is sleeping. how cute is that? too cute. jake made perogies for dinner tonite and i had thought you could bake em...we did that and they poofed up and got crispy and chewy sort of like a fried ravioli or something. they were so so good! thanks jakie! you take such good care of me!

you guys are so sweet for all of your concerned comments and emails and phone calls when i made the migraine post. i didn't delete it because i really do want people to get to know who i am, good, bad and ugly, but even still, i know it freaks people out a bit. i had a longtime friend get "sick" of my illness shennanigans and i cut ties after that. now, i lay it all out and if someone doesn't want to deal with me, no problem. i think i am a good friend. i think i stick my neck out for others. drive you to the hospital. hold your hand. let you complain, or cry and tell me how bad you feel. i don't question that you actually feel bad, or worse yet, i don't ever try to make someone feel guilty for being too sick to go to a show, or dinner, or to the mall. i know that the sick person got the raw deal, not the well person, who can still do whatever they want to do. where am i going with this? on my lupus online group, there are always people who say that they can't talk about their illness with their partner or friends or even family, sometimes, because they will think that they are just whining and get annoyed. it stunned me how widespread that behavior really is, how many people don't really tell anyone how they feel. they feel like strangers are the only ones they can talk to. don't get me wrong, i don't like to bitch too much on my blog, i drop out of site when i feel really bad. but one of the things i can't stand is those phoy blogs (by similarly phony people) who act like they are perfect, nothing is ever wrong and while i appreciate a gorgeous blog, i think that unless it is a blog devoid of any details of your life (which is okay, too. design blogs and such) it is kind of a lie to let other people feel like your life is perfect because it serves a bit like magazines covers where an already gorgeous and ultra thin person is airbrushed to be way more skinny and perfect. it makes you think that you are a loser. your meals aren't all gorgeous and nutritious and served on fine china with lovely silverware and linens. your kids drive you nuts sometimes. or a lot. your cats puke all over your house and knock everything over. you didn't have the energy to get dressed, let alone look cute. i think that if your blog is about your life, there should be some unperfect things as well. they don't make you seem worse, they make you seem like a real person. they make you relatable, rather than making readers feel bad about themselves. i have had so many positive emails and comments from people saying that they appreciate that i am "brave" enough to put in the negative stuff. i am not brave, i am just the kind of person that will tell you whatever you ask. i really will. i always have been that way. at thist stage in my life, not so much embarrasses me. i do what i do, i am what i am, i am okay with that. so on one hand, thanks for loving me lumps and all, it really does mean a lot to me. but on the other hand, i encourage others not to be afraid to put negative details in your blog. if you feel like crap or had a really bad day, or whatever, don't be scared that people won't like you. bitching and moaning all the time is one thing, bu saying what is going on and how you would like to make it better...that can be a great way to get advice and kind words, as well as getting it off of your shoulders. just my opinion. and i am loopy on migraine meds, so best i go before i say something even more strange. ya know?

love you all...
n.

how embarrassing!

2008-01-23T17:23:00.001-05:00

oh jeebus, i was talking to jake in the kitchen just now and thought that i might have posted whilst in the throws of a migraine. holy shit. i used to write in my journal sometimes and it was not even as bad as that. i think i was dozing off while typing and then snapping awake and writing down what i was dreaming. i was about to delete it, but jake told me not to so that people could see what migraines do to a poor unsuspecting brain. i didn't even realize that i am quite that bad. i love the parts where you can tell i blanked out for a minute. or 15. who knows? i also love that i somehow posted to livejournal and blogger. here is to hoping that i didn't do any migraine emailing. that could be bad. if i sent you a jumbled email outlining how your life is in danger and you should become a dog catcher, disregard it. gah! clearly i have been overdoing it a bit, but now that i have figured out how to overdo it, i am kind of riding the wave until it crashes. i guess that the fatigue and migraine seem worth it to me, although if i get one bad enough and end up in the hospital, i will probably be singing a different tune. anyway, i am foggy and tired today, but much better. here's to hoping that i don't get another one tonite, or at least, i keep it to myself.

alabaster

2008-01-23T00:36:00.000-05:00

while cruisng etsy slooking for somet nice papers and instread l find al of this strange ephemera and stuff. now, i guessi drifted off and t oen did seeing elephants at posh parties seving tea=, snf warm scones with clotted cream n jam.on a ferry. hanging out. all these questions swam aroujdy mimd and iknw i shouldn't ask, but knew it would be gone soon if i didn't. he asked me if i felt okay and let me mt rokkkklllklllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllld
so i am trying to get it out as ai fprget every second ...the migraine easting up braincess. chomping. when you havce a migraine and take your meds for it, and the trt to spell the words so they know what you see, what this is all about and you cannot pul it goether. or you can for a second d=n...i felt like i just had t doooooooooooooooooooo something. i keep lookin at my hands to see where my needles are. even in my dreasm things are messed up. no one is allowed to go to schfool . i can spell. i saw a crazy attack on a sitting girl. i am seen=in gthins. i gkeep forgotenning what i awas going to saw because i have dozed off, but i sear i had impofa wnr i thought i was holding dish of food and no===but i am super hungry, although, deleriously tored too/

in my dream ym doctor told jake to give me massafes and i never told jake and when found out he was mad at me. but it never happened at all. just now, i thoguht that i was lying on a raft in the ocean with my leg up on the side and ialmost got flipped and it is far far away. i just woke up up again and woke myself up scared that i was falling into the icy water. i notice that a turnk full of my yarn is slipping into the water and then i snap awake again here typing. i go back and am in the strage section wwhere other people are freaking out and i trty to calm them down. i see some lovely old furniture, i take a gloved hand to dust it off and i wake up. kinda. dunno if this will make sense or it, my mind just pulling in all directions. migraine meds and a migraine do bad things to my poor brain trying to undersatnd where even aluna is going or meaning and then i lose the thought. now i am cooking, now...thinking of a friend getting pulled up by her waist like a circus performer and she is shocked and is sfrfeaj dj. i realize that i a am in bed with my laptop, husband, ktties, and am typing, slowblxccxxxxxxxxxxc dozing trying to help someone in my ffihgt ,tahtdidn't wanna dye. i have a feeling that someone in out extended chain of friend or family is going to die, or be hurt vvery badly. i am so out of it that i have to shower and let the migraine do
be safe okay

ohhh snap!

2008-01-22T23:03:00.000-05:00

well, i put two pieces into the artstream studios show and they got accepted, although i am not sure if anyone will get turned away or not. anyway, they are available and are priced lower than i usually sell my things for, so go and check em out. it is for breast cancer research. also, i got a nice note from the peeps at lime and violet letting me know that i was mentioned again in their podcast, which i thought was really nice. there is a link in the toolbar to that if you are interested.

the photos above are of some of my most favorite mixed media pieces. i really need to mount them or frame em. i don't think i can bear to part with them. i love that woodgrain wallpaper. it would be horrid as wallpaper, although it would be cool to cut out on a larger scale and stick on the wall for a larger version of that piece, ya know? hmmmm... what does jake think?

i have been working my bum off to get caught up on everything. as always, i am really behind. i got my yarns for orders spun up, plus several extras. i did 6 or 7 big bobbins full today, which was about 8 hours of work. i don't tend to take breaks because once i stop, i realize how exhausted i am, but i have been pushing past being tired like i used to when i was in college, and then i realize how i did that and why i got really bad migraines and strange maladies (like mono...a half dozen times) all the time. it is sort of like dieting...once you push past the hunger, you kind of forget about it. will it bite you on the ass? yes, but at the moment, you can handle it. that said, i have been having a horrible time sleeping. i push past it when it is earlier because i don't want to sleep for a couple of hours and be up all night, and then i am not able to sleep at all. i will be tired, but overtired, if that makes sense.

it is so hard to balance things. i can't really shift gears, so if i am spinning, i have to just be spinning all day. i don't check emails until i am done, i don't stop to eat, i don't go anywhere, i don't pack orders, whatever i am on board doing on whatever day, that is all that i do. when i switch gears, i realize that i am exhausted and that is it.

i got another circle piece done last night. well, not totally done, but i want to add crocheted lace around the outside of a few pieces but i think as barbe suggested that drilling holes in the piece may be the only way to attach it other than glue, which i don't want to use.

my eyes are really tired, so off i go, but i do plan to get the yarns skeined and photoed so you can check em out. packing orders, etc, and skeining yarns is on the slate for to-morrow. and then i have to get my studio cleaned up. and then the bedroom. it is a stye. i cleaned my desk up in the studio and i look at it longingly, wishing that the whole room was like that. le sigh. i explained to jake that when i look at organizing and cleaning, i can't just do one thing, or one small part, i want to do it all at once, which i can't, so i don't do anything and it gets more and more out of control and i feel guilty about it, as well as anything else i am too tired to take care of. so. i really need to get organized and try to do a bit of daily maintenance no matter what i feel like.

here are some rings i crocheted. i am not sure if i posted photos of em before. they are so fun to wear. so happy.

xo
n.

sqeak!

2008-01-20T21:35:00.000-05:00

i got some new and really lovely yarns listed on the luxe.etsy shop if you guys wanna pop on by. i plan to get some valentine's yarns done this week, too. despite it being a bit late.

i am also hoping to get some of the circle collage pieces into the artstream studios valentine's show. i need to send them for to-morrow, if it isn't too late. if they don't go there, i will list some of them. i have been having a lot of fun with them, i am interested to see where they go.

xo
n.

ouch! my uterus bit my ovary!

2008-01-18T23:00:00.000-05:00

jeebus! sorry i dropped out of sight there. i had a baaad night yesterday and spent today doing nothing at all. no internets. no reading. no crocheting. no nuttin! i am feeling a bit better now. how bad did i feel today? i got stuff in the mail and didn't even open it. i think that i overdid things the last couple of days and then that time of the month was not a good combo with that. so. i puked. i sweated. i cried. i showered. and showered again. and then again. and once more. with some more puking, sweating and crying in between. i asked jake how long it would take me to get a handle on my body and what is what.

so, what have i been working on? well...

some of these will be going off as gifts, and a couple not shown will go hopefully go to the artstream valentine show. i need to take some more photos that show the whole thing to send. what else?

they will be listed sunday on my etsy store, www.luxe.etsy.com

barbe let me know that i got a shoutout on the yarnmarket news top 10 spinning fibers list via my buddy shannon okey, which is nice. i need to stock up the shop a bit. so check back, okay? i will also be putting some of the circle collages up for sale there. i love the bright ones, but i love the white on white, ala malevich. you would not believe how much time i manage to spend on one small piece. i have been punching out tons of paper circles in the various sizes and colors ahead of time and attempting to keep them semi-organized by color so i don't spend even more time looking for something. i still do, but ya know. for the white on white, i have all kinds of printed things, vintage books, dictionary, sheet music, the inserts for my medications (seriously), maps, magazine pages, old notes and letters, bills, all kinds of things. i never throw anything away, so. i glue them down mainly using my finger. i originally used a glue stick, but it seems so wasteful to use a whole glue stick and have the plastic holder leftover, you know? why don't they have refulls? so i use tacky glue, which i like better than mod podge because it doesn't stay all sticky and you can use any kind of paint over it. i then use diluted acrylic as well as white guache, but i go over and over and over and over with my number 0/3 and 0 round brush. it takes me forever. i don't know that it should, but i like process. i look at other people's work that is supposed to be layered and look old or processed, but they really didn't take the time to do the processes and you can see it. i do plan to make some postcards and bookmarks from copies of these pieces, and do some embellishment. i think they will be nice extras for orders. i personally love bookmarks. i actually first started making the circle things at this time last year when i was doing the valentine's postcard swap on flickr, which i am doing again this year. i got invited! woot woot! i learned a hard lesson about making things the right size so you pay for a postcard and not a letter. also, i learned that if it is the right size, it can be as heavy or thick as you want, and still be the price of a postcard!

today, i got an order returned to me that was never picked up from the beginning of december. no one ever contacted me about not getting their order, and it said that they had gotten reminders and never picked it up. i wonder if it was a gift or something. i will email them and see what is up. i assume postage will need to be paid again even if it is the same address, right?

so, today was a wash, which sucks. i always feel so guilty and don't let myself do anything at all, if i had the energy to. izzy came up to suck my hand and farted the most stinky fart about 2 inches from my face. it reminded me of her insanely gross kitten farts when she was a baby. she also has gross fish breath which is odd to me, pavel never had bad breath when he was so young. he still doesn't really and he is 3 i think. the sisters have hideous breath, but they are older, so that is how it goes. if kahlo is anywhere in the bedroom licking herself, i can smell it. g-ross! pavel is next to me here snuggled up to his papa. we have been putting this kitty stuff called "calm down!" in their water, and pavel has been a lot less agitated. he still fights with the girls, but it is not nearly as bad and he has been coming out and sleeping with us much more, instead of sleeping in the closet or on top of the fridge. i think it has helped to calm izzy down a bit, too. she still bites me all the time. i am the lowest rung on the totem pole in this house. i really am.

so, i have been wanting to make another non-holiday wreath. it is one of the only forms of decoration in this joint. i found some things that would be very versatile as to what you made with them. remember i made this pom pom wreath last year?here are some i had bookmarked...
a yarn wreath
another here
and here
and the rockin adrian purdeeeeee!
paper ">wreath from martha stewart gave me lots of ideas. fabric flowers? tulle? gorgeous papers rather than plain white? ooooh. it could be amazing.
like this gorgeous one made from fabric scraps really cool.

off i go.
xo
n.

meme stolen from melissa of moustache ride fame...

2008-01-16T00:12:00.000-05:00

1. What is your occupation? tightrope walking yarn spinning artsy fartsy junk loving coffee drinking bleeding hearted liberal. how's that?
2. What color are your socks right now? none. bare feets whenever possible.
3. What are you listening to right now? myself typing. and my stomach growling. and jakie sleeping.
4. What was the last thing that you ate? a giant granny smith apple and then my sleeping pill. so technically the pill.
5. Can you drive a stick shift? no. i was a nanny right out of high school (which kinda put me off of kids) and they wanted me to learn to drive their 100 year old stick shift volvo even though they lived right in squirrel hill, which is very easy to get around with the kids, and attempted to make me learn on the hills, even though the car would stall and not start unless you ran it down a hill. i left the job in the end.
7. Last person you spoke to on the phone? barbe wire. i mean barbe st.john.com hee.
8. Do you like the person who sent this to you? yes, i do! she is a kewl grrrrrl.
9. How old are you today? 35. wow. i can't believe that. people tend to be surprised that i am THAT old. which would be insulting if they didn't mean that i didn't look it. does that make sense?
10. Favorite drink? coffee, i think. i am a total coffee snob, so only good coffee, black, one spoon of raw sugar. um. i love guava juice too. but not the sugary one.
11. What is your favorite sport to watch? strong man. oh, when i actually can catch it, i loooove the ecochallenge too.
12. Have you ever dyed your hair? nope. my natural color is pink. i mean black. i mean blonde. i mean red.
13. Pets? 4 cats. pavel is the only boy. izzy is the krazy kitten. kahlo and peeps are sisters and they hate each other.
14. Favorite food? hmmmmm. tricky. sticky rice with mango. i loves that stuff. i like sesame cold noodles and i love middle eastern food. all of it. okay, most of it. lamb makes me violently ill, and i would feel bad eating it anyway, but most other stuff i love. i especially like that there are tons of different little things to eat in a meal since i have a short attention span whilst eating, so that is perfect for me. also, i love spinach lentil soup from ali baba, which is nice and thick and lemony. soo good. i should learn to make it.
15. Last movie you watched? caberet.
16. Favorite Day of the year? valentine's day, i think. i alway wished i had someone who loved me and spoiled me, since i was little. and now i do! who would of thunk it? i have always tried to send my single friends something sweet on v day because nothing sucks more than to get nothing from anyone. remember in high school when they have that crappy thing where you can buy a rose or something for someone and they get them delivered in home room so that the person that gets nothing can feel like an asshole? i would send anonymous ones to the people that i knew were nice but wouldn't get anything. i should have sent myself one. i usually at least got one from a friend, although when you are in high school you are still humiliated to sit next to someone with 3 dozen roses.
17. What do you do to vent anger? fall down the stairs. oh wait, that is what causes the anger, a cat tripped me. or puked inside my purse (that has happened. more than once) if it is a cat, i might yell halfheartedly. no one is even kind of scared of me. they don't stop what they are doing or even blink. it is embarassing, really. and then i feel dumb that i yelled at all. i hate yelling. if it is any other thing, i tend to swear a lot. and then, there are the times that i don't feel well and get really pissy, in which case, i just take a pill and a shower and try to relax.
18. What was your favorite toy as a child? we didn't have many toys because i abused them and my mom didn't want to buy them. i had a spirograph that i enjoyed and my dad always let me have records and books and some art supplies. those things i of course love to this day. thanks dad. i was also known for breaking other people's stuff and trashing their barbies. gee i wonder why. i would break something, put it back and then leave, promptly, waiting all night for the call saying that i was going to be a 4 year old in prison
19. What is your favorite season? summer or spring. i would say fall, except that i get bummed out knowing it will be winter in a second and can't really appreciate it. i wish it lasted longer.
20. Hugs or kisses? both.
21. Cherry or Blueberry? i love both if they are fresh. i hate cherry flavored stuff, though. ew.
26. When was the last time you cried? last bad migraine i had. i was in the shower in the middle of the night crying. i usually feel better after that for some reason.
27. What is on the floor of your closet? a box full of vintage fabric, linens and aprons. also a laundry basket with clean laundry that jakie did for me and i never put away because i am a lazy mofo.
30. Favorite smells? jakie's skin. he has such a nice smell that is the same since i met him 14 years ago. the smell that comes from the laundry exhaust outside. the smell of rain (oooooooh yeah!) pies and bread baking. sexy smells. i like em. i don't think that anyone should think that they smell bad. unless they do, then they should!
31. Who inspires you? my friends...i have several close friends that have gone through really really rough times, making their way with no help from their family, dealing with mental illness in addition and still being able to find a wonderful partner and a nice life for herself, or just dealing with a history of abuse and neglect and still growing up to be a world traveling, artsy craftsy animal lovin' diva. some wonderful women that i have had the pleasure to meet that have severe health problems, more than i do, yet are insanely productive and always positive, which really is such a huge thing, especially when you feel crummy. that inspires me. and my husband. he is the most kind, generous, openminded, forgiving, sweet and sexy man i have ever known. he is a super organized and neat person. i am the opposite. and then some. he never yells at me. he never tells me not to bring anything new in. he never tells me to stop hanging my things up everywhere. he never tells me to get a REAL job. he always has my back. even though he went a christian school, he is very worldly. he knows soooo much about all kinds of music and literature and it was all on his own. all. he is like a sponge, just ready to take more and more in. open and ready. i wish i could be more like that. i will try. i will try to be more like all of the positive people that i admire.

32. What are you afraid of? my husband being hurt in any way, my animals being hurt, sick or getting lost. i am also afraid of the dark. always have been. except now, if i try to walk down the hall in the dark, i imagine samara from the ring walking after me on the broken ankles with the water behind her and it freaks me out. odd, eh?
36. Number of keys on your key ring? 2 because have been too lazy to pick up the rest of my keys from gabe.
37. How many years at your current job? 3 or 4 i think.
38. Favorite day of the week? friday or saturday. weekends are jakie days. woot woot!
40. Do you think you're funny? i crack myself up sometimes. sad, but true. giggle. i reread my journal sometimes and i haven't even intended it to be funny but it cracks me up.

i worked on more of the circle pieces today. i need to take photos of those. i did take photos of the other ones but not the ones i just finished a bit ago. i am really tired. so i am outta here.

if you want to do the meme, go ahead and do it. make sure you let me know so i can seee!

monday, monday.

2008-01-13T21:30:00.000-05:00

whell whell, whell. i like it spelled better that way and i am attempting to start a movement. anyway, i talked to my friend rosa for a while today while getting other things done. anyone who talks to me on the phone knows that i tend to take the phone into the shower, or talk whilst dyeing, spinning, gluing, and the phone LOOKS like it, too. then jake reminded me that we needed groceries. i popped into joann's and picked up more varnish (i used up 2 bottles doing beads!) and glue and paper for another circle collage. man, they tire me out. i will post photos, i promise, but jesus, my brain is twisting itself into knots to put the right thing in the right place and i feel like it is a puzzle. it is kind of odd. i feel that way about a lot of the artsy things i do. they kind of drain me. i don't realize it until i am done and i feel...winded. does that make sense? anyway, i have been taking the energy pills the doctor gave me and they have been working fairly well, although when they start to wear off, i get very shaky. i assume that is why, anyway.

i picked up groceries and a roasted chicken for peeps to eat this week. i shred the white meat and feed her that until they eat it all up, which only takes a few days. they loves the chicken. not izzy, she only eats her special fancy kitten food. no interest in anything else. then i sat and punched out a zillion circles and did most of a circle piece, i may mess with it a bit tomorrow, but other than adding the hanger and varnish, it is probably mostly done.

over the past few nights i have been crocheting rings, i did it until really late last night and i have actually had lots of new ideas popping into my head. i just dunno if i can construct them or not. i will mayhaps try it presently if i don't have too shaky of hands. those little hooks are not good for that! i also got a bunch of paper bead stitch markers done to put into orders yesterday. i am no jewelry maker, so they are not perfect, but i came up with a design that i think will work better than the old ones. again, photos to-morrow. i swear.

off i go!
xoxo
n.

me-ow!

2008-01-12T21:32:00.000-05:00

a couple fantastic links. okay?
reefs reefs and more reefs made out of all kinds of recycled stuff. she is an amazing artist. this might sounds rude, but you may not be imagining magical things that are made out of...well, garbage. i didn't imagine that. then, i looked. and...shut up! amazing. this woman is so inspiring. go. seriously.
the icelandic love corporation who make bjork's crocheted outfits.
and the amazing, amazing, amazing jpolka. wow.
i updated the www.luxe.etsy.com site yesterday with a few new yarns, all really pretty. a couple of which i really might unlist and keep if no one buys them. it isn't a threat. i am just saying, is all.

i bought a bunch of different yarns from someone on the knitswap list and a bunch are this variegated noro that is about as thick as one strand of embroidery floss (1 out of the 6) anyway, i have crocheted a few things with it, a ruffled bracelet and then realized i could double it and it would still be really thin, but i could use a 2.25 hook and it would work. anyway, i made a ring, which is soooo cool. i will be taking a photo and making more. i started a matching bracelet which might become a choker. after making the base of these, i added single chains and reattached them onto the base so it looks like a puffy flower or something. really fun. i might do some seed beads, too. pics soon, i swear. i giggled with glee when i put it on. and comfy, too! you don't get many large and wild rings that are comfy. ya know?

on my last post, miss heatherly left me a link to bent objects one of the cutest and at the same time, smartest things i have ever seen. go look! go! now!

we went to look for glasses for jakie, to no avail. we popped into the bookstore and then met his folks for dinner and i swear i ate more desert than dinner. like that is a bad thing. ah creme brulee...i love you so. your crispy top. your creamy middle. you taste really goood. i loves you. and so does jake. i bet even the cats would love you. who doesn't like custard? bad people. that is what i say.

xo
n.

sticky!

2008-01-10T22:00:00.000-05:00

i didn't sleep again. le sigh. so i took one of my pep pills and wow. i never realize it is doing anything until i have been working non-stop for 6 hours and forgotten to eat. so. i love it. i used to be like this all the time. imagine all of the stuff i cranked out. i really did. anyway, i worked on the paper beads all day. i meant to do some and then work on packages, but time slipped away. fast. katrina probably realized i was a bit speedy and chatty. she is the bestest.

anyway, i varnished the origami paper beads and then did a metallic irridescent wash on the ones made from books. i did multiple layers, so they look really pretty. i was going to use the utee again, but it is such a hassle and i get burned. a zillion times. we will see what you guys think of this. i hope to take photos to-morrow.

i will be posting new yarns on www.luxe.etsy.com to-morrow, so do pop by and check. there are some really lovely ones, including a couple of skeins i spun from my own untamed rough carded batts. fun!

ms. peeps, the fluffy one who has had all of the bum issues is having peep problems now. she is peeing blood and i am concerned. she isn't showing any signs of kidney failure, she is licking herself a lot, so i think it must hurt, which makes me think it is a uti or something. i will call the vet to-morrow and do some research online momentarily. she is around 14, so i really hope she is okay. poor girl. if something happened to her, who would peep all over my house? whoooo? i loves that bad kitty. i loves her.

off i go.
xo
n.

izzy no sleep. i no sleep either.

2008-01-08T20:44:00.000-05:00

i swear that there is crack in the kitten food. she is manic. bonkers. crazy. at one point last night, or rather early this morning, she had brought all of her hair ties up onto the bed (6, i think.) i guess hoping that i would wake up and throw them for her to fetch. she also bites my face and arms, among other things. i already and a poo sleeper, but that kitten. gah! she mainly bugs me because the other cats will pop her one. ah, izzy.

i got orders packed up (but not presents. a daunting task that i keep putting off.) and a few yarns spun up today from some crazy batts. the batts had lots of loose fiber in them-bamboo, cotton, ecospun, so while i was spinning, bits where flinging all over the place which made me giggle everytime it happened, which it always does. it is like a fiber explosion. giggle. anyway, i will skein them to-morrow and show em off. i realized that i do miss doing the crazy stuff.

last night i did another of the millions of circles collages for a swap. i need to seal it still and put a hanger on it, but it went fast. whilst doing that, i realized that i need to organize the punched circles (i have hundreds) that i make in the future by color so i don't have to dump out the bags of them. i only had to make many before figuring it out. right? riiight?

i hope to get at least some of the gifts packed up to-morrow. they all have multiple stuff in em, so it takes me a while to do each one. i don't know how it takes me so long to pack stuff, but it really does. gah! i annoy myself. i really do.

wanna see some linkies?
first...i HAD to buy this. do you recognize that mug?do ya?
this lady's work is...swooon!
for you bibliophiles out there nina is doing something i have never seen before.
and susan's valentine's show for charity.

xo
n.

is it tuesday yet?

2008-01-07T22:26:00.000-05:00

so. i went on a bit of a paper bead making kick. a bit, you say? okay, i went totally nutso, but i have really gotten the actual bead rolling part down to a science. i am going to just seal the origami paper ones and then the other kinds of paper (vintage books, comic book pages, magazine paper, old maps, coloring book pages and more) i am probably going to do a bit more with. maybe a bit of sheer paint and the metallic stuff? i will have to mess around with it and see. i plan to do some stitch markers to put in with orders and maybe some jewelry or something. ideas, anyone? if anyone wants to swap for some, let me know. i seriously made waaaay too many. i do plan to add some into the xmas gifts i have yet to pack and send (yes, really.) so that was part of making lots, but then, i kept going. i just love having things like that to do in bed when i am tired or sick. i loves it.

how cool is this new camera that uses NO batteries! you just twirl it for 15 seconds which is enough to take one photo. cool, eh?

i have been having lots of headaches lately. on saturday, i couldn't keep my eyes open and then woke up around 3 a feeling strange. i got up and went into the studio for a bit and noticed that my back where my patches are was itchy/wet. i had put them on earlier that day. i realize that the stuff inside of them (the patches are like a sticky little pouch that releases the meds through the plastic and it is medicine in an alcohol based gel, basically) had yet again started leaking so badly that a patch that is meant to last 3 days was almost bone dry in several hours. the best part is that if i didn't have some extra, i would have not had enough to last until the next script and the drug company won't reimburse you because they simply can say that they don't believe you. so. must be nice, eh? i could sell you yarn and it could be blue instead of red and i could just tell you that i don't believe you and too bad. suck it up. must be nice, eh?

i had to wake up jakie, who is rather hard to wake up, to check my patches, take em off and put new ones on for me. he passed right back out, but still. not cool.

i have actually produced lots of stuff and really need to take photos. badly. and then, there is so much stuff that needs to be photographed that i put it off. lazy.

i popped into joann's for some odds and ends and noticed how many commercial yarns have come out that look like handpainted/handspun. it is crazy. you think that your little corner of the crafty/artsy universe is cut off from the commercial world and it kind of blows your mind to see that it takes a little while, but it catches on. all kinds of singles, subtle striping, flecks of different things in there, lots of pretty things. remember when craft store yarn was squeaky? not that squeaky yarn doesn't have its purpose. you know what i say, no yarn left behind. anyway, when i iowa, our flight was cancelled and i was out of yarn to play with so we stopped at several yarn shops that were all closed and finally went to michael's. i bought some moda dea yarn which is way prettier in person and has a lovely subtle stripe. all of the colors are gorgeous. i can't believe i am saying that, but it is very noro-like but super super soft. it would be wonderful for baby things or gloves.

i need to get my studio cleaned up and organized. i need to get everything organized. i don't even know what the hell i have. also, i am planning to put in bookshelves downstairs. we did a built-in kinda thing at the top of our stairs, where there is a strange nook, but we have jampacked it full of books and still have tons more. i would like to wallpaper the wall behind the shelves and then paint the shelves an antiqued red and i think the walls a robins egg blue, which i loooove. my idea for the shelves came from one of the design blogs i read (don't remember which) that was several coffee tables that were cut in half lengthwise and stacked against the wall as shelves (get what i am saying?) as much as i love the idea, i thought we could do wall to wall shelves using the legs that you can buy at home improvement stores, or even the staircase spindles and wooden boards painted. maybe even some crown molding on top? ooh la la!

oh, i forgot! at michael's, they have the martha stewart line of crafty stuff and gift tags, etc, and a bunch of stuff including her gorgeous wrapping paper was on sale for next to nothing. the paper would be great for anything you use pretty paper for. i got two different metallic woodgrains! badass! also, there are these adorable little collectors boxes that i got for 2 bucks a piece and then a set of 3 frames for 5 bucks each i think. and i always need frames. i have so much stuff like that which i picked up to finish with art or to put photos in and then i never get around to doing it and forget that i have it. i hope that i can get my act together in that regard. i am organizationally challenged and if i try to organize stuff too much, not only do i get overwhelmed, but i put things away and can't figure out where i put them. i need to be able to see stuff or i might as well throw it away. after being at my parents' house, i realized how much like that my dad is. i stack stuff. he does, too. granted, he is only really responsible for his office and his night stand, but both are loaded full of books, magazines, cds and cds and cds, movies, stuff printed out from the internet, and all kinds of other stuff. i like to have my stuff nearby. but i want things to look nice, i want to not feel too overwhelmed to do anything. if anyone has organization sites, or even better, studio organization sites, leave a comment.

speaking of comments, i never get any anymore. does anyone read my blog anymore? sob!

xoxo
n.

haaaappppy newwww yeaaarrr!!!

2008-01-03T23:48:00.000-05:00

so, we are back from iowa, the darkest, most dreary place ever. my mom complained of it, but i thought that everywhere that gets cold in the winter is the same. it isn't, though. my lord. we had a nice time hanging out with my parents and seeing the niece and nephews who are getting really big. crazy stuff. our flight home got bumped back a day, but other than that, everything went smoothly.

one of my favorite people ever, gabe, watched the cats for us. poor pavel hid away the whole time, like he usually does. when we got back, he was super cuddly, which is not really his way. he tries to act cool (as boys do) but he has been hanging out with us most all of the time. he even let me hug and kiss him. surprisingly, the kitten was the one that held a brief grudge. a few mintues is a long time when you are only 4 months old. jake picked her up and she wouldn't look at him. girls! otherwise, kahlo and peeps did fine and i think the really loved gabe. who doesn't? thanks gabe!

whilst in iowa, there was obviously lot of political suits down there. my mom kept getting phone calls and she caucus-ed. go mom! i think oprah may have inspired her.

today i did more paper beads to use for stitchmarkers or whatever, really, and i got caught up on some custom yarns. to-morrow i will have to pack up presents and some orders, so if i owe you a present, it will be coming, i swear it. i swear. and now, after the xmas rush, it will be even cooler to get something, right? i have a few really good ones that i am excited to send out, one is for the yarn wench. ooooh. so excited. ms. barbe has some good things coming her way, as does ms.katrina and ms. chocolatte who has been incredibly good to me with random gifts when i don't expect it.

i have been updating the www.luxe.etsy.com site daily and will have more stuff as soon as i get some photos done for new things. so much to do. i feel like this is a poo post, so off i go.

i missed you all! i haven't talked to ya since last year!
xoxoxoxxo
n.

poor peeps' bum...

2007-12-22T21:42:00.000-05:00

so, peeps has been incredibly constipated for quite some time now. we have been making her eat laxatone (kitty intestine lube) that wasn't helping and her tummy was so bloated and hard that she would let me massage it, which would sometimes help a bit, but as of yesterday, it was just huge. we took her to the vet and she got antibiotics for the scab on her face that won't heal, plus ointment, if it doesn't heal, she probably has a tooth abcess and will need dental work done, which is bad because although she looks great and runs around a lot, she is 13 or 14 and has a heart murmur. he said he would put her on a heart monitor and use gas, anyway, but still, it scares me. nextly, she got a belly x-ray and as i though, she was super blocked up. i wish i got a photo of it. she was backed up, like pebbles, as far up as you could see. so. we had to give her a kitty enema, and then, she is super fluffy, so we had to clean up her bum region and down her legs because she was all yucky. the best part? we have to do it again to-morrow. gah! poor peeps. it did get her tummy moving, but she was really upset and clearly felt horrible and sore. we kept her in the bathroom for a few hours, and she ate (she is permanently on soft food, due to the tummy issues. plus the laxatone in the gullet every day)when she came out and guzzled water and then barfed up a bunch of bile and water. she is keeping to herself, but her belly already feels deflated and back to her petite self, but i know there is more poo up there that will have to come out to-morrow. i am so not looking forward to the enema. it was called a "pet-ema" how wrong is that? it is a two person procedure and it just sucks. suck. anyway, send peeps and her ailing bum some well-wishes.

otherwise, not much. we spent a fair amount of time in the bathroom with her, or trying to clean her up, to her chagrin, but ya know.

anyway, i hope to get photos taken of some new things to-morrow.
mwah
n.

is it hot in here?

2007-12-20T22:38:00.000-05:00

famous last words. i had the super sore throat, which is better. i am a bit hoarse, though. i have a fever and feel really tired now. i got up to do some spinning and then after doing the single, was covered in sweat, do i decided to chill out at that point. so. oh, and cramps. my uterus is a renagade. it always has been a bad seed. there is no talking to her.

yesterday i got a good bit done. packed some orders which jakie took to the post office for me and realized that i was missing some of the things i needed for orders. one of which had been dyed on saffron fiber and it didn't dye all the way through. so whilst the roving looked bright, spun up, it would look kind of gray, pretty, but not anything like the roving. so i redyed another, which came out green on the yellow, which i wasn't surprised by, it just didn't do that before. gah. anyway! i also redyed a berry one because the photo was of another in the batch that looked totally different. i will probably send both, but the second came out sooooo pretty. i want it.

i listed a BUNCH of stuff on www.luxe.etsy.com...and there is more to come in the next few days, too. i listed some sock yarns that are at reduced prices, too.

most things are small batch or the last of a small batch, so don't wait. kay?

for anyone getting xmas gifts from me, i am way behind on packing and sending. we are going to visit my family in iowa after xmas, so it will go out after we get back in january. and then it is a whole new thing, yeah? yeah! that sounds good, right? some people, katrino and ms. chocolatte are OWED from way back plus xmas. i don't forget. i just take a while. i think the longer you wait, the more stuff you get though. from me, anyway. like, interest, yeah?

holiday craftiness...

2007-12-17T15:38:00.000-05:00

i have the flu. from whence did it come? dunno. i have a sore throat, earache, sinus pain and feel achy. jake went to get me cough drops, etc, after work and everyone was sold out of everything that wasn't cherry (i don't eat cherry flavored anything. gross.) he did end up finding some for me after going to several different places. he is too good. i wouldn't have gone that far. i really wouldn't have.

i am in search of a small gift for my dad and older bro for hannukah (when we go to visit in iowa right after xmas), as well as something for his twin boys who are toddlers. any suggestions? my brother is into the finer things in life, and my dad is really into classical music (lots of kinds, actually) and classic art (not modern) and is the kind of person that seems to know everything. literally. if he watches jeopardy, he knows every answer. he enjoys crispy treats and nuts, although he is not supposed to eat them (who is?) and my parents both drink tea a lot, although only bagged tea, and in a mug. ideas?

whilst catching up on blogs, i found some good links for holiday ideas...a wreath made out of succulents...from crafster a recipe for different kinds of latkes...latke redux how to make this
the most gorgeous trays evah! i would hang it on the wall, like i do with my plate collection. also from curiosity shoppe, dish decals! that are safe in the dishwasher. they are a steal at only 6 bucks for a whole sheet, so you can make cool mugs, dishes, whatever you like. a cool gift idea, too! the online store has so many cool things, including artwork by my bloggy pal lisa s.!

xo
n.

aaaaaah. drugs. yummmy.

2007-12-12T20:35:00.000-05:00

this is night 3 no sleepity sleep. oooh yeah. i have gotten lots of reading done, though. so that is something. i started taking one of my old medications for when my arms and legs start to really really hurt and it helps for a little while. during that little while (about 5 hours) i have been getting lots of work done, have my to-do list so that i am more on top of what i need to do and don't forget everything, like i usually do. i carry the luxe notebook back and forth between the studio and the computer so i always make note of what is what. special note for ms amanda...i respun the yarn that you never got and posted a link in a convo on etsy, so go look and see if it is okay for ya.

that said, i have gotten caught up on packing orders and getting them out. i have a few swaps and xmas things for online peeps that i need to get finished and sent, but otherwise, i am caught up. so that makes me feel better. wanna see some of what i have made?

anyone interested, let me know, otherwise, they will be listed to-morrow on www.luxe.etsy.com, okay?

so has anyone been watching kid nation? anyone that hasn't...man, it is such a cool show. some of those kids are just amazing. so smart, so funny...and you can just tell that they will really be something. mainly because they are 8 and are already so smart and confident and adorable. the idea behind this reality show is that they take 40 kids between the ages of 7 and 15 to live for 40 days in a deserted ghost town and try to make it work. they have no modern conveniences and have to live like the prospectors would have lived. it is rather impressive.

i am off to shower.
xo
n.

aye aye aye

2007-12-10T22:40:00.000-05:00

first, i added some new yarns to the www.luxe.etsy.com site and i am needing to take photos (among other things) of several other really swank ones and knits that i haven't gotten up yet. gah. i am behind on everything and then i sit and stress about it because i don't feel well enough to do the stuff and people need their orders and....gaaaaaaah!

i haven't taken the car to get the broken windshield wiper fixed yet and it has snowed or rained everday so i haven't been able to drive to the post office. not that i have felt well enough. i am exhausted and headachy and have had some fibromyalgia issues (i assume) that makes everything hurt and my limbs and extremities feel like i am on a bed of nails. and crampy. the bed of nails is a new thing. i haven't been sleeping (again) and i think that is making things worse.

when i sleep...nightmares. like usual. last night, i had this nightmare that had these large mice that i was feeding and playing with and then they turned into these zombie things and then i realized that the cats were there, and had been exposed to who knows what from the mice and then kahlo was missing and i saw her running in a creek outside and then she transformed into a big cat and then a wolf (lupus?) and then into a man who turned and started shooting with a machine gun at everyone. there was actually way more to the dream, but i shook myself awake and lay in bed and read. i knew that if i got up, it would be worse, but i should have. then i had a bout of the heebie jeebies when i changed my patch and got paranoid that it would be all day. the skin crawling hot and cold sweats are more than i can handle. after a shower and bath (all by noon!) i felt okay to just sit in bed and read, but the pain was back and everything was so cramped up that i couldn't really do anything. so then i get upset and stressy that my customers will hate me. i hate having to make excuses. they sound like excuses. ya know? i hate it. i hate complaining. i hate all of it. and then, one morning i wake up and feel kind of normal and can do stuff and i realize that i really am not lazy. i really don't want to sit in bed all day in pajamas and no bra because i can't stand anything squishing me. sorry for the moaning. waa waa.

anyway, i have high hopes for to-morrow. bigtime! off to do some catch-up knitting.

xo
n.